


The Gray Area

by kaleinope



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec discovering his sexuality, All Human AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Malec-centric, Eventual Smut, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Saphael, Sexual Content, idk how to tag apparently, some Clace kinda, versatile Alec Lightwood, versatile Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:05:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleinope/pseuds/kaleinope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>'How did one go about starting a conversation with a complete stranger? Say 'hi'? Ask the man to pass him a book? Compliment him, out of the blue? Oh god, he wouldn't be able to do that, not in a million years, and-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>the stranger was staring back at him now.'</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alec Lightwood lives his life in monochrome. He lacks the color and the vibrancy that he knows he needs- it's what he longs for everyday. He just doesn't know how to find it. The first year of college can be a confusing time for anyone, and Alec is no exception. He's at a point in his life where he begins to question everything about himself.<br/>And then he meets Magnus Bane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On Crushes and Winged Eyeliner

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few things to start off with :)  
> I decided to write this, because I wanted to use Alec (who, honestly, might be my favorite character ever) to bring a message across.  
> We know that, in the books, Alec struggles with his sexuality. We see this in the first three books: first, the struggle of thinking he's in love with his parabatai, and second, his fear of coming out because he knows it will be frowned upon.  
> In this au, I want to portray this struggle- but I'm tweaking it just a little. Alec doesn't exactly know where his sexuality _lies_ yet- he's in what I call 'the gray area'. A phase of confused sexuality that I've been through.  
>  I know a lot of us can relate to this, regardless of what our sexuality actually is.  
>   
> Anyway, enough with the boring A/N.  
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Friday I'm in Love' by the Cure_

The atmosphere in the lecture hall was thick and sleepy. The air-conditioning was broken again, and the room was much warmer than it should have been- this, coupled with the air smelling distinctively of coffee, and the monotonous drone of the lecturer, was sending many of the students into a sleepy haze. Some gave up the illusion of trying to listen and buried their heads in their arms, while others continued to yawn and click their pens.

Alec was close to resting his forehead on his laptop keyboard and closing his eyes for five minutes, but he knew he had to at least _try_ hang onto what the Professor was saying. He couldn't allow himself to miss out on any important information- not with a test coming up in the next two weeks.

Unfortunately for him, his lecturer had what was possibly the most boring tone of voice on the planet- and even if his brain had been wide awake, it would have proved a challenge to tune into what was being said.

Alec groaned internally; who the hell thought that 7:30- _in the morning_ \- class on a Monday would be a good idea? His chest heaved with a sigh, and he resigned himself to the fact that he'd have to take notes as the Professor went on about muscle tissue in extensive detail.

More than an hour later, after a lot of yawning and straining his brain to make sense of at least _one thing_ pertaining to the lecture, Alec was walking out of the hall amidst a throng of other tired, grumbling students.

He didn't know any of these other students yet. It was his first year of college, and he was only a month or so into the first semester. He knew that a lot of other people would have made their fair share of friends by this point, but it didn't feel that easy for him. Opening up to others wasn't something he just _did._ It took a lot of time.

Also- and this he knew from high school experience- people tended to write him off as some kind of quiet nerd who wore faded sweaters and followed the rules and kept his nose to the books. So what if he didn't break rules? They were there for structure.

He didn't have time for people who judged him like that; as Izzy always liked to say, the only opinions of consequence are the opinions of the loved ones in your life.

He was halfway to his Biochemistry class when his cellphone vibrated. He pulled the device out of his pocket, fumbling slightly (he wasn't used to the size of the new phone yet- it felt awkward in his hands). It was a text from his mom:

 

**_Need you to pick Max up this afternoon. Tnx_ **

 

Well, it wasn't like he had any major coffee dates he'd have to cancel or anything, at least.

* * *

 

Alec pulled up in the elementary school's parking lot, ten minutes too early. He started flipping through one of his notebooks to pass the time, reading through his barely intelligible notes: a scribble here and there about skeletal tissue. Something about myofilaments. He supposed he was _kind of_  studying, and that was what counted.

It wasn't long before he heard a soft _thud_  against his window, and looked up to see his little brother's face squished against the glass, grinning. Alec feigned shock, dropping his notebook into his lap with an exclamation of 'oh!'. Max laughed.

“Are you trying to give your big brother a heart attack?” Alec asked jokingly, as Max slid into the passenger's seat.

“Did it work?” His sibling asked. Alec smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair.

“Sure. Buckle up, buddy.”

“Yeah- oh, one sec,” Max opened his window and leaned out of it, waving to a little girl with white-blonde pigtails, “Bye, Suzie!”

Alec's eyebrows shot up, “Suzie, huh?” He watched as Max settled back in his seat and secured his seatbelt, a blush creeping into the younger boy's cheeks.

“She's my friend.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Okay, don't tell anyone, but I kind of like like her.” The ten year old blurted, and then ran his hands over his face, jostling his glasses. “ _Don't tell Jace or Izzy_ _.”_ he mumbled into his palms.

“Your secret's safe with me,” Alec said sombrely, and smiled reassuringly at Max as he looked up, “You really don't have to be embarrassed about it, you know.”

“When did you have your first crush, Alec?”

Alec's grip on the steering wheel tightened a fraction. He let out a slow breath.

“You know, that's a tough question.” he said mildly. “I really don't remember.”

“Suzie's really pretty and we read manga together.” Max said, sounding wistful, and Alec couldn't help but laugh affectionately.

* * *

 

His brother's question stuck with him the rest of the day, even though he knew it shouldn't have bothered him so much.

_When did you have your first crush?_

Alec isn't sure he ever did have a 'crush'. He'd dated a few girls in high school- because that was the normal thing. That was what was socially accepted. It never felt right, though, and he wondered if- maybe, possibly- he might like boys. The idea never once repulsed him, but he's never had the chance to test the theory, and in all honesty, he doesn't know what his parents would think of him. He'd never felt any kind of electric charge or sexual urge with anyone he'd ever been with- no instant, undeniable attraction. He'd cringed away from kisses on more than one occasion. But he finds himself longing for it; longing for physical attraction, intimacy. He just isn't sure who he wants it from.

Alec was contemplating this in his 3 PM physiology class, poking holes in his notebook pages with a sharp pencil. He wasn't exactly finding the lecture on haematology very _riveting_. Alec paused when he felt eyes on him. He glanced up; a girl a few seats over was staring at him (he supposed- he glanced behind him to check, but no one was there). She shifted her gaze instantly, and he thought he could see her blushing. He considered asking for her number after class- that was the kind of thing Jace would have done- and then realised that she was probably just wondering why his hair was such a mess. He ran a hand through his bedhead self-consciously, deciding that he probably needed to start brushing it in the mornings.

* * *

 

“Honestly, Iz, your nails look _e_ _xactly the same_  as yesterday.” Alec said around his mouthful of sweet-and-sour pork, ignoring the hand his sister was brandishing in front of his face.

“No- today they're _fuschia_ _._ Yesterday, they were pink.” Isabelle pulled her hand back, making an annoyed sound in her throat. “Honestly, Alec. Even Jace noticed.”  
“That I did,” his brother said, “but only because I don't understand why you keep changing your nail colour every other day.”

Alec glanced at his sister's nails again- he still couldn't see what she was talking about. “Why is this important, anyway?”

“I'm trying to teach you about colour,” Izzy eyed his brown sweater with clear disdain.

“Not happening.”

“I give up.” Isabelle emphasised her words by stabbing her chopsticks into a salmon roll. “You're a lost cause.”

“What did the salmon ever do to you, Izzy?” Jace stole the abused piece of sushi off of her plate, popping it into his own mouth. He dodged the swipe she aimed at his arm easily.

“How's high school going?” Alec asked them, turning to small talk. It wasn't like he didn't see them everyday- he still lived at home- but he liked to bring up the usual topics at family dinners. His parents were seated at the end of the table, heads bent together, clearly absorbed in their own conversation. Max was too busy building a structure out of cutlery to listen.

“Oh, the usual. Izzy's getting straight A's in home economics and I'm making waves with the student council.”

Alec raised a brow, “Jace.”  
“Okay, if you have to know,” Jace dug his fork into his rice, “I keep getting detention from my science teacher because he 'doesn't like my snark'.”

“And I'm still fighting for the uniform policy to be revoked.” Isabelle said, as Jace muttered something along the lines of 'not my fault he doesn't have a sense of humour.'

“How's that working out?”

“Um.” Izzy grimaced, rolling her eyes towards the ceiling, “Let's just say the governing board isn't giving up on that green plaid any time soon.”

“I don't look that bad in the uniform. Then again, I can pull anything off.” Jace smirked.

“ _Anyway,_ ” Isabelle suppressed a laugh, “How's it going with our favourite pre-med student?”

“Hm?” Alec busied his mouth with more pork, cringing inwardly. He knew it was going to come up- it always did. It was easy enough to avoid when they were at home, since everyone mostly kept to themselves; his parents worked 24/7, and his siblings had hobbies and homework and after-school activities. So no one questioned it when Alec stayed holed up in his bedroom in between hours at the university. But mandatory family dinner, once a week at the usual restaurant, resulted in the inevitable:

“Come on, tell us a little more about college life. You never talk to us about it.” No one had a more spectacular pout than Isabelle.

“It's a lot of work,” Alec chewed his food, scrunching his eyebrows together as if deep in thought (really, he was just trying to come up with a way to back out of the conversation), “And… are you trying to make a pyramid, Max?”

The three of them turned their attention to the youngest sibling, who was beaming at them behind a tower of carefully placed forks and knives.

“Where'd you get so many forks?” Jace asked.

“Stole them off the other tables.” Max said. His cutlery project fell apart then, shuddering loose and falling to the wooden table with a deafening clatter. This demanded the attention of their parents.

“Max!” Maryse scolded, “What are you doing?”  
“Trying to be creative.” Max told them simply. His older siblings had to hold in their laughs; Alec grinned and bit into the sleeve of his sweater, chuckling into the material. It was impossible to stay angry at Max.

“You shouldn't be creative with _cutlery_ _,_ Max. You could have poked your eye out!”

* * *

 

Isabelle threw herself onto Alec's bed, scattering his meticulously ordered anatomy printouts onto the floor. He groaned and bent to retrieve them.

“Go to your own room, Isabelle.” He grumbled. He knew what was coming, and he was in no mood for her usual prying. His sister ignored him and stretched herself over his sheets, like a cat. Sometimes she actually was worse than Church.

“I want to talk to you.” she said.

“I don't.” He glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand, “It's a school night. Shouldn't you get to bed?”

“Not before we _talk_ _._ ” she propped herself up on her elbows, her brown eyes darkening. So, she was serious.

“Fine.” Alec gave in, sitting on the edge of his bed, “As long as it isn't about my wardrobe again.”

“Why don't you want to talk about how college is going?” Isabelle sat up and grabbed for one of his pillows to hug against her chest. She liked to do that.

“Honestly, Iz, it's boring,” he said. “I've got nothing interesting to tell you.”

“But that's the problem here, Alec- I want you to be meeting people. I want you to be out partying and living it up, you know. Like all the college students in the movies.”

“Isabelle, 'American Pie' isn't an accurate representation of _anything_ _-_ let alone college.”

“Who says I was talking about 'American Pie'?” she plucked at a loose thread on his pillow, and- ah. There was that pout again.  
“I know you, Izzy.” Alec said. “Anyway. I'm really not the partying type.”

Isabelle mumbled something that sounded like 'nerd'; Alec gave her a gentle shove and she toppled backwards into his pillows with a squeak. She retaliated by kicking her foot into his side which, luckily, wasn't that painful.

“Don't worry about me.” Alec caught her ankle as she tried to pull her foot back, “Worry about that uniform policy at your school.”  
Izzy lifted her head up from the pillows, “Why are you bringing that up now?”

“Well,” he tapped the small tattoo that curled around the gliding joint of her foot, “Tattoos aren't allowed, are they?”

“We wear socks, brother dearest.”

“But there's compulsory swimming in gym class, isn't there?”  
“...Shit.”

* * *

 

Normally, Alec wouldn't be spending his Friday evening in the library. He liked to be at home, watching movies with his siblings or, at least, studying in the comfort of his own bedroom. But it was unavoidable that particular day; he had an assignment due the coming Monday, and wouldn't be able to check out all the books he needed, all at once.

And so, he found himself in one of those stifling library cubicles, the desk space crammed with various books and medical journals- working himself half to death on a Friday night. If Isabelle knew where he was, she'd probably lose it.

His favourite song by the Cure played on repeat in his ears as he hunched over his work, racking his brain for the right way to go about the assignment. With a frustrated flick of his wrist, he scratched through another possible answer. So far, his page was nothing more than a mess of scribbles and lines. Nothing was helping; he pushed back from the desk and rose to his feet, intent on finding another book that possibly held the answers. Also, it gave his brain a moment to slow down and breathe. He walked back to the section he'd been in earlier.

It took him a minute before his eyes found purchase on a promising volume. He curled his fingers around the spine and pulled it from the shelf- he froze.

Through the gap he'd just made, he could see someone on the other side of the shelves. A man, to be precise- who hadn't yet noticed Alec gaping at him.

Alec had seen his fair share of interesting people around campus. Just earlier that day, he'd walked by a girl with bright pink hair that was clean-shaven on the left side of her head. Two days ago, he remembered seeing a broad man with tattooed arms and a bleached blonde mohawk. It really wasn't uncommon. But this man, by far, was the most interesting person Alec had laid eyes on since starting college.

He was so _glittery_ _-_ if... Alec had to use one word to describe him.

The man was tall and lean, with perfectly coiffed hair and extremely precise make-up (he could just hear Isabelle complaining about how this stranger made winged eyeliner look so effortless). His smooth, caramel skin and the shape of his eyes hinted at Asian descent. And his clothes- well, they were a sight to behold. Alec wasn't sure he'd _ever_ seen a man in a crop top before.

He was beautiful.

Alec sucked in a sharp breath and stepped away from the shelves, his heart pounding in his ears. It was a bit overwhelming, feeling such immense attraction on the spot, but not having the courage to actually say something.

How did one go about starting a conversation with a complete, random stranger? Would he say 'hi'? Ask the man to pass him a book? Compliment him, out of the blue? Oh god, he wouldn't be able to do that, not in a million years, and-

the stranger was staring back at him now.

“Can I help you?” he asked, a smile gracing his features, and Alec nearly passed out on the spot.

_Oh, shit._


	2. Play it cool, Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Flirting was as easy as pulling a tooth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got quite a positive response for the first chapter and it made me really happy and motivated to get this next chapter ready for you guys <33  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Riptide' by Vance Joy_

“Can I help you?”

Alec didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to turn tail and run or just look down at his shoes and mumble an apology- or say 'yes, you _can_ help me- by giving me your number'.

Okay, he wasn't smooth enough for that last one. But he wished more than anything that he was.

As it happened, all he could manage was gaping at the handsome stranger and attempting a coherent response:

“Uh, I, uh...”

“You're lost?” the man smirked at him, and Alec nearly melted right there because _it shouldn't have been possible to perfectly tilt your lips upwards at the left side and-_

He cleared his throat, shaking his head 'no'.

“Are you?” He asked, and, unable to help it, glanced meaningfully at the man's outfit. 

“I know I'm under-dressed today, but honestly,” the stranger was walking around the shelves now, approaching him, “that doesn't mean I shouldn't be here.”

Yet again, Alec was lost for words. In what world was this man _under-dressed?_

“I could very well be a medical student, you know.” The man used his hands very expressively as he spoke, Alec noted. His eyes followed the movement with a barely-contained fascination.

“ _Are_ you?” he asked, again. His voice sounded dumb to his own ears.

“No, no,” the man chuckled- a sultry, low sound.”You couldn't catch me dead in scrubs.” The stranger seemed to hesitate, for a second, before holding out a slender hand in a flourish of a movement.

“I'm Magnus, by the way.” he said.

 _Magnus._ Alec had never come across anyone with a name like that before- and it was entirely apt. A very unique name for a very unique face. He couldn't help smiling as he shook Magnus's outstretched hand.

“I...I'm Alec.” He managed to introduce himself without sounding like a complete idiot.

“I'm assuming that's short for _Alexander?”_

_Holy mother of god._

“Yes.” Alec squeaked, then coughed out of embarrassment. “Uh, yes. It is.”

“Interesting.” Magnus turned back to the shelves. Alec was about to take this as his cue to leave, but Magnus spoke again:

“I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.”

Alec took a step forward, deciding that it definitely couldn't hurt to be helpful to handsome strangers. “What are you studying, exactly? I could direct you to the right section.”

“Interior design.”

“You know that this is the medical floor...” Alec blinked at him. “Right?” 

“My friend, Catarina, needs me to get a book for her.” Magnus trailed his long fingers over the spines of several aged journals. Alec watched the rings on his fingers glitter under the artificial light; one of the rings was a deep blue, and Alec liked it.

“...something on 'osteology',” Magnus was saying, when Alec tuned back in. “Not that I know what that is. You think this one's good enough?” He pulled one of the thicker volumes off the shelf.

Alec took one glance at the cover and shook his head. “You want something newer. A more recent volume.” His eyes scanned the shelf until he found what Magnus needed. “Here.”

“Oh.” Magnus smiled at him again, and Alec almost asked him to stop because, honestly, it was just too attractive and his heart was constricting too much at the sight of it. “Thank you, Alec.”  
“No problem.” Alec took a step back, tucking the book he'd come for under his arm. “So, um...”

“Of course you can have my number.” Magnus said breezily, as if he were talking about nothing more than the weather. Alec's train of thought came to a shuddering halt.  _What?_

“Um, I, you, well-”

“Here.” Magnus had procured a pen from god-knows-where and was gesturing for Alec to give him his hand. Numbly, Alec lifted his left hand and watched as Magnus wrote a series of digits across his palm.  
“Call me.” Magnus winked and ambled away, hips swaying. Alec licked his lips in a quick motion, looking back at his hand before he could let himself stare at Magnus's… well.

He'd gotten a guy's number. He could hardly believe it.

_Someone was interested in him._

Alec grinned so wide for the rest of the evening that he was fairly sure the librarian thought him insane.

* * *

 

The euphoria didn't last long.

“Izzy, what the hell do I _do_?” Alec was pacing the floor of his sister's bedroom, stepping over scattered brassieres and high heels with practised precision (he'd managed not to trip over anything- not once). “Like- what's the social protocol here?”

“Just text him, you dweeb.” Isabelle didn't even look up from her own cellphone, presumably scrolling through her Instagram feed.

“But-”

“Text him, or I'm going to do it for you.” she threatened. Alec made a mental note to hide his phone far away from her.

“It's not that easy. How long should I wait? What should I _say?_ ”

“'Hi' is a good option. Works for me.”

“But what if 'hi' is too abrasive? Is 'hello' too formal? And 'heya' doesn't seem right either-”

“Alec, I swear to _god._ ” she threw a pillow at him, which he dodged effortlessly. The pillow hit the wall behind him with a _thump._

“Iz, please. I need your help.”

“Look,” Isabelle set her phone aside, flipping her dark hair away from her face. “You're just over-complicating this, big brother. The flirting thing? It's easy.”

“What if he doesn't want to flirt? What if he just wants to be friends?” Alec still couldn't wrap his head around why someone like Magnus would take a liking to someone like _him._

“Please.” Isabelle said. “From what you told me, 'just friends' was far from his mind.” She shifted forward on her bed, sending a small pile of clothes tumbling to the floor.

“Do what I did with Simon. Have a normal, friendly conversation for a day or two-" she paused and held up a finger, "don't seem too desperate- and wait for him to suggest a coffee date or something.” she shrugged. “Easy peasy.”

“Wait.” Alec lowered his right eyebrow skeptically, “Who's...Simon?”

“New boyfriend.” Isabelle gasped, clapping her hands together. “Oh! He goes to the same college as you. You guys can meet up!”

“You're dating a _college student?_ Isabelle-”

“Shush, I'm making friends for you.” she had her phone in her hands again. “You're welcome.”

“Jesus, Iz.” Alec exhaled, defeated. He moved over to the doorway and crouched down to scratch behind Church's ears before he left.

“Your nails are purple today.” He said, glancing back at his sister.

“Oh.” Izzy looked up in surprise, tilting her head. “Thank you for noticing.”

* * *

 

He had to meet Isabelle's new fling the very next Monday. Simon turned out to be majoring in music, and was also overly passionate about it (not that Alec really cared as Simon went on about his band that had an  _utterly_ ridiculous name). Alec kept his chin propped up with his hand, adding to the conversation with the occasional 'mm' and 'oh really' at appropriate moments. His thoughts were elsewhere.

He still hadn't mustered up the courage to text Magnus. He felt useless, because he still didn't know what to do or say- how he could _possibly_ make a good first (second?) impression in text format. Also, a part of him knew that it was probably too late. Magnus had most likely moved on, and Alec was ready to kick himself for it.

“...and, anyway, we actually have a gig this Saturday.” he heard Simon say. “Izzy's coming to it. You should come, too?”

Alec was more than a little annoyed at Simon using his sister's pet name so flippantly. “Sure.”

“Great.” Simon fidgeted with his coffee cup, and Alec could tell he was internally grasping for something else to talk about. He knew how it felt. “Did you...see the new Star Wars?”

“No.” was Alec's immediate response. “I'm not...I don't really like that kind of stuff.”

“Oh.” Simon tried to mask his disappointment, but Alec still picked up on it. “Well. What kind of stuff _do_ you like?”

“Archery. Reading.” Alec shrugged. “Music.”

Simon perked up again. Dammit, Alec realized- a second too late- he'd clearly opened a can of worms.

“What kind of music?”  
“You know...the good stuff.” Alec said awkwardly. “Nirvana. The Cure. I don't know.”

And Simon proceeded to launch into a detailed explanation of his favourite bands, and genres, and about how Tenacious D was underrated. Alec sighed and sipped at his espresso.

“Alexander?” He heard a voice say- a vaguely familiar voice, that was smooth and alluring- and Alec promptly choked on his hot beverage.

“Shit, dude.” Simon patted Alec's back as the coffee shop's new arrival approached their table. Alec looked up, red-faced, and met the curious gaze of Magnus himself.

“On a date?” Magnus asked, his tone dry. “Am I interrupting?”

“No! God no, um,” Alec coughed, gesturing awkwardly to Simon. “This is my sister's boyfriend.”

“I'm Simon.”

“A pleasure.” Magnus barely even gave Simon a second glance; he was intent on Alec. “I'm going to assume the reason you haven't called me is because your cellphone got thrown out a window- or something equally tragic.”

“About that. I'm sorry?” Alec grimaced. “I didn't...” he trailed off when he realised Simon was still listening.

“Can we have a minute?”

Simon caught on and nodded, scraping his chair back from the table, “I'll...get another coffee.” He walked over to the barista, and Magnus occupied his seat.

“So, Blue Eyes.” Magnus leaned forward, elbows on the table. “What's the story?”

Alec felt his ears go warm. “I've never done this before.”

“What's 'this'?” Magnus laughed, though not unkindly. “Texting?”

“The...texting...flirting, thing.” Alec said, his voice barely above a mumble.

“Alec, relax.” The other man gave him an easy smile, rubbing at his (perfectly shaped) eyebrow with an index finger. Alec took the moment to appreciate the dark green eyeshadow Magnus had on, which made his eyes stand out brilliantly. “It's okay.”

“It's not.” Alec shook his head vehemently. “You probably thought I was ignoring you or I wasn't interested. But I am, I'm interested-”

“I'm not going to lie, I was a little disappointed. But then, well, I ran into you again. And now everything's alright.” Magnus slipped him a wink. “As long as you promise to text me tonight.”

“I promise.” Alec's replied automatically. Simon approached the table then, a cappuccino in one hand and a muffin in the other.

“You guys good?” he asked.

“Sherwin, you ruined the mood.” Magnus said, which made Alec laugh rather unattractively. He tried to cover up the guffaw with a cough- but Magnus was already smirking at him, a delighted gleam in his eyes.

* * *

 

Alec threw himself onto his bed, cellphone clutched in his hand. He'd sent a message to Magnus five minutes ago- was it normal for a person to take so long to reply? Maybe Magnus was busy. Of course Magnus was busy. He seemed like the busy type.

His phone vibrated, tickling his palm.

 

_Hey there, Blue Eyes._

 

Alec chewed on his lip, fighting a smile. He took a deep breath and typed.

 

_**Is that your nickname of choice for me, now?** _

 

As it turned out, it was a lot easier to be brave online.

 

_Well, I think it suits you ;)_

 

_**very creative** _

 

_I am magnificently talented._

 

Alec rolled over so that he was lying on his stomach, staring at the phone's screen thoughtfully. What was he supposed to say next? Izzy had suggested casual conversation, but that could literally entail any number of things. He could ask Magnus about his interests- but, he supposed, he should save that for when they saw each other in person. Alec felt himself blush; while he could be marginally braver online, it was a thousand times better talking to Magnus face-to-face.

 

_Earth to Alexander?_

 

Alec jolted as another message came through, and sent a hurried reply.

 

_**srry, got distractd** _

 

_I know I'm distracting, darling, but honestly_

 

Alec swallowed thickly, trying to force the lump in his throat down. Oh, this was flirting. This was definitely, one hundred percent, flirting. He buried his face in one of his pillows and bit down on the material, steeling himself for what he was going to do next.

 

_**I like getting distracted by you** _

 

He didn't get a response for another twenty minutes. Alec spent those twenty minutes pacing the room, struggling internally (did he come on too strong? Was that a lame line? Was Magnus completely over it now?) and considering whether it would be worth it to actually throw his phone out of the window or not.

When he finally got a text from Magnus, he nearly collapsed from sheer relief.

 

_Sorry, that last text surprised me. But in a really, really good way._

* * *

 

By the end of the week, texts turned into phone calls, which turned into longer phone calls, twice a day. They didn't get to see each other in person for the duration of that week- but that was okay.

“I have three massively huge projects my lecturers have decided to burden me with.” Magnus's voice was tired and scratchy in Alec's ear. “I feel like the walking dead.”

“Sounds fun.” Alec was walking across campus grounds, on his way to the library. He had his phone tucked between his right ear and his shoulder, carrying a coffee in each hand.

“I'm testing myself. Trying to see how long I can procrastinate for.” There was a rustling on Magnus's end of the line; sheets being moved.

“Are you still in bed?”

“Mm, yes.”

“Aren't you a lucky bastard.” Alec said.

“We need to have our first date.” Magnus said, startling Alec. Hot coffee spilled over one of his hands. He winced and tried his best not to swear.

“W-what did you have in mind?”

“Coffee, maybe?”

“A...coffee date?”  
“You're right- that's way too cliché.” Magnus hummed. “How about you come over to my apartment? Tonight.”

“O-okay.” Alec said. “Just...text me the address.”

“Will do. See you later, Alexander.”

Alec stopped in front of the library just as Magnus hung up. Simon was waiting for him on the steps; he made grabby hands at the sight of coffee.

“You look unusually chipper this morning.” Simon curled his hands around his cup, suspicion creeping into his tone. Alec shrugged, trying to act casual.

“I have a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reckoned interior design would be a good major for Magnus, since he loves redecorating that apartment of his.  
> Also, I know I aged Simon up a bit- but I feel like it works?  
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Find me on my tumblr, if you'd like: @kaleinope


	3. Plum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alec wanted to get the first date right, just this once._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who's enjoying this- you guys bring me endless joy.  
> Have another chapter!  
> I'm having so much fun writing this, tbh  
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Fun for Me' by Moloko_

Alec had had his fair share of 'first dates' in the past. None of them had ever gone particularly well. He remembered taking a girl to the movies in eighth grade; there'd been a sex scene and Alec had just cringed and tried not to look too _thoroughly_ freaked out. And when Alec was seventeen, a classmate (her name was possibly Jenna, but Alec sucked with names) that he took out for the first time wanted to do nothing more than make out. She'd been all over him, and Alec hadn't known what to do. There were several other cringe-worthy instances of first dates, but Alec hated dwelling on those for too long.

He wasn't going to mess this one up.

“I think this could work?” Isabelle held a shirt against Alec's chest, pursing her lips in thought. “It's blue, so...”

Alec glanced down at the article of clothing in question. “Iz, this shirt is, like, four years old. It's going to be too tight.”

“Exactly.” she winked at him, but folded the shirt up and put it back in his cupboard anyway. “You need to show off your archer muscles.”

“Can't I just wear this?” Alec gestured to the outfit he had on. “These are my brand new jeans.”

“The jeans can stay, but you are _not_ going out in that shirt.”

Alec was beginning to regret asking Isabelle for help. “It's simple and black. What's wrong with it?”

“Everything.” Izzy sighed, rummaging through his closet again.

“What are you getting dressed up for, Alec?” Max was sitting in the middle of Alec's bed, flipping through a manga. Church was curled up near his feet (Max loved it when the cat did this- he said it kept him warm).

“He has a date!” Isabelle procured a yellow shirt from the depths of the closet. “And this is _perfect_.”  
“Izzy, no, I hate yellow.” Alec complained. “I don't even know why I _have_ that shirt.”

“It was a birthday present from me, Alec.”

Alec's eyes widened a fraction. “Yellow shirt it is, then.”

“A date with who?” Max asked curiously, setting his book down to show that he was now invested in the conversation. Alec took off his shirt, his answer muffled as the material went over his head.

“No one you know, buddy.”

“His name is Magnus Bane,” Isabelle drawled, and Alec could _hear_ her smirk. “A sexy, sexy man that your big brother met at college.”

“A boy?” Max blinked up at Alec, momentarily confused.

“Uh, yeah.” Alec cleared his throat and pulled his yellow shirt on. “Don't...tell mom and dad, okay?”  
“Not that a boy dating another boy is a bad thing.” Isabelle chimed in.

“Right. Yeah.” Alec said. “It's not bad- it's just...a secret. For now.”

Max nodded slowly, moving his thumb and forefinger over his lips in a zipping motion. “I won't tell.”  
“Thanks, Max.”

“You should wear your leather jacket.” his little brother said, pointing to a dark article of clothing draped over Alec's desk chair. “I know you like wearing it.”

“Good idea.” Isabelle whisked the jacket off of the chair and started helping Alec into it, despite his eye-roll.

“So. Am I ready to go now?” Alec raised his eyebrows expectantly. His siblings regarded him with nearly identical expressions; eyebrows furrowed just slightly, lips screwed up to the side.

“You need eyeliner,” Izzy proclaimed.

“Yeah, bye.” Alec frowned and left his bedroom before his sister could get any make-up onto his face.

* * *

 

Magnus, as it turned out, owned an apartment in Brooklyn, so Alec found himself on the subway that evening. He kept his head down for the duration of the train ride, eyes on his phone's screen- a tactic to avoid any awkward, forced conversations with strangers. The last time he'd been on the subway, some woman had talked to him about her day for twenty minutes straight. Alec preferred to avoid things like that.

He used the GPS system on his cellphone to navigate from the subway station to Magnus's place, hoping to god he wouldn't screw up and get lost somehow. Luckily, he eventually found himself in front of the right building: a red-bricked warehouse that had been converted for living in, surrounded by similar artsy industrial buildings. It suited Magnus.

Alec's finger hovered over the buzzer with Magnus's name underneath it, breathing out. He could do this.

He pressed the buzzer.

“ _The door's open, Blue Eyes.”_ the voice came through the speakers, like velvet.

A blush crept up Alec's neck. “How'd you know it was me? What if I'd been a serial killer or something?”

Magnus chuckled. “ _Just come in, Alec.”_

Alec gripped the handle of the metalbound door and used his shoulder to push it open, stepping into Magnus's apartment- which was...colourful, to say the least. The open space was filled with mismatched furniture (the first thing Alec's eyes landed on had been the purple couch placed right next to a green armchair) and artworks on the walls and a shaggy, burgundy rug covering the floor. It was so incredibly eccentric- so incredibly _Magnus-_ that Alec just had to grin.

“Alexander!” the man himself swept into the room, a glass of red wine in his hand. “How are-” Magnus paused and let his gaze roam over Alec, lips curling into an amused smile.

“You look like a banana.”

“Oh, god.” Alec groaned and zipped up his jacket, swiftly hiding the shirt from view.

“But a very cute banana!” Magnus laughed, moving towards him. “I didn't think you were the 'bright colour' type. You were wearing a rather plain ensemble when we met, as I recall.”

“Isabelle- my sister- uh,” Alec shrugged. “she helped me with my outfit.”

“Ah, well,” Magnus sipped his wine, using his free hand to unzip Alec's jacket. “You have permission to wear one of your sweaters, next time. I want you to feel comfortable.”

Alec felt a bit dazed. _There was going to be a next time._

“How about a drink, hm?”

Alec's eyes flicked towards the glass in Magnus's hand. “You're old enough to drink?”

“I am the legal age, yes.” Magnus raised a brow. “How old are you?”  
“Nineteen.” Alec wasn't sure why this hadn't come up before.

“Interesting. Well, a little alcohol won't hurt.” Magnus winked, tapping a finger against his lips. “We'll keep this a secret.”

“Some wine sounds great, then.” Alec said, trying not to think about it too much.

“Fantastic.” Magnus smiled and walked through to the kitchen, Alec not far behind. Magnus plucked a bottle from a small wine rack and retrieved another glass from the cabinets.

“I'm sorry if I shouldn't be asking this, but...you're a student, so,” Alec slid onto one of the barstools, watching Magnus serve the drink. “how are you affording a place like this?”

“Oh, it's really not as expensive as it looks.” Magnus flicked a hand in a dismissive motion. “Clever decorating. Anyway- I inherited a fair sum from my parents.” he slid the glass across the counter to Alec, who curled his fingers around the stem.

“Oh.” Alec raised the wineglass to his lips and sipped tentatively. The taste was rich, fruity, and only slightly bitter. He took another, longer sip.

“Slow down, big boy.” Magnus said, grinning behind his own glass. Alec jolted in his seat when a loud beeping sound rang through the kitchen- which turned out to be the oven's timer.

“Magnus...” Alec started. “Did you...cook for us?”

“Keen eye you have there.” Magnus was slipping his hands into floral oven-mitts.

“You really didn't have to- I mean, I feel like it's too much effort, really-”

“Oh, shush. I wanted to.” Magnus bent in front of the oven to retrieve whatever he was cooking. Alec shushed and carried on drinking his wine.

“Roasted lamb.” Magnus set a large dish on the counter. “Voilà.” The meat was a shade too dark, and looked a little charred. Alec watched Magnus cut off a small piece and pop it into his mouth (Magnus seemed to be wearing some kind of lipgloss, which was _distracting_ ).  
“Ugh,” Magnus pulled a face. “This tastes like tar.”

Alec laughed. “Really?”

“Yeah. Let's order pizza.”

* * *

 

“What are we watching, again?” Alec asked around a mouthful of cheese and olives. He and Magnus were curled up on the purple couch ( _plum,_ Magnus had insisted the colour was called), the pizza box taking up the space between them. Alec's jacket was draped over the back of the couch.

“ _Grey's Anatomy_.” Magnus looked amused. “Do you think when you actually become a doctor, it'll be like this?”  
“This dramatic? No.”

“No turbulent affairs in the ER for you, then?”

“'Fraid not.” Alec grinned at Magnus, who shifted closer. He set the pizza on the coffee table to get it out of the way.

“I actually just want to be a general practitioner.” Alec went on. “Which could get quite boring.”

“You never know.” Magnus smiled coyly. “So. Do you think I could beat you at a game of _Operation_?”

“You are so on.”

Magnus laughed, leaning his head back against the couch. “Next time, I promise. Tonight, though, I really just want to get to know you better.”

“Me too.” Alec said, stupidly. “A-about you, I mean. I want to find out more about you.”

“I asked first.” the other man smiled- a warm smile that Alec found to be contagious. “Tell me the first interesting thing about yourself that comes to mind.”

“I have a fear of umbrellas.” Alec blurted. He slammed the heel of his hand into his forehead when he realised how dumb that sounded. “Ugh, what I meant to say, was, um...” Why- _why_ had he decided that _that_ was what might interest Magnus? He probably thought Alec was a freak, now.

But Magnus's smile had just gotten wider. “Umbrellas? You're messing with me.”

Alec shook his head. “You know when you open an umbrella, and it just...” he tried using his hands to illustrate. “Pops open?”

“Yeah?”

“It scares me every time, the suddenness of it.” he shrugged uncomfortably. “It's an irrational fear.”

“We all have one of those.” Magnus said, reassuring. “Mine's corduroy.”

“What?”

“A fashion disaster that keeps me awake at night.” Magnus shuddered. Alec had to bite his lip to keep the laughter in.

“You need more wine.” Magnus was already pouring more for Alec (it would be his third glass, but he really wasn't complaining). The bottle was almost empty now, and Alec's head felt lighter and pleasantly...warm. But he wasn't drunk- no, not at all. And he definitely wasn't blushing as Magnus handed him the wineglass and their fingers brushed.

“I'm bad at talking about myself.” Alec mumbled, raising the drink to his lips.

“Well, let's start simple. What are your hobbies?”

“Archery.” Alec stated, gaze flicking up to Magnus- who was, it appeared, eyeing Alec's arms rather appreciatively.

“Makes sense.” Magnus just about purred.

Alec was grinning again, his stomach doing somersaults. “What about you?”

“I dabble in the arts.” Magnus said vaguely. “Clearly, I have an eye for design.”  
“Anything else?”

“Fortune telling, occasionally.”

“Do me.” Alec said decisively, setting his glass down.

“It's a bit too soon for _that_ , darling.”

“My _fortune,_ Magnus.” he rolled his eyes at Magnus's smirk. Magnus chuckled and reached for Alec's left hand, turning it over. He traced the lines of Alec's palm, his touch feather-light. Magnus was silent for a minute, deep in thought. His fringe fell in front of his eyes; Alec had to resist the urge to reach out with his right hand and move the hair back.

“You're the support for the loved ones in your life- the one everyone counts on during difficult times.” Magnus murmured, running his finger along a line that curved around the ball of Alec's thumb and ended at the base of his palm. He tapped another line that split in two. “This is the heart line. It tells me that you also put your own emotions aside to meet other's needs.”

Alec mulled over this. He supposed it was true enough.

“You're good at this.”

“I've shown you mine, so you'll have to show me yours.” Magnus chuckled as Alec blushed like a schoolgirl. “I'm talking about your archery skills, of course.”

“Right.” Alec gulped down a large amount of wine. His head was starting to feel heavy.

“I love making you blush,” Magnus was saying, but it sounded far away. Alec was staring at the TV screen again.

“I never realised how attractive Patrick Dempsey was.” he mumbled, and Magnus made a noise in agreement. They didn't say much after that- Alec was suddenly too exhausted to attempt conversation. His head lolled back against the couch- the plum material was so soft, and inviting, and it was just really comfortable and…

The last thing he saw before falling asleep was McDreamy.

* * *

 

Alec woke up feeling surprisingly warm and snug. He was still on the couch, but a pillow had been put under his head and a blanket was covering his body. He blinked slowly, trying to remember what had happened the night before.

He jolted into a sitting position, throwing the blanket off of himself. He was horrified- he'd _fallen asleep_ on the first date. He'd ruined it. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, as if the motion could scrub away his embarrassment. It didn't. _Who the hell fell asleep in the middle of a date?_

“You're awake.” Alec looked up and saw Magnus standing in the doorway that joined the living area and the kitchen, idly stirring a cup of coffee. He was wearing a silk kimono, and his hair was wrapped in some kind of turban. His face was devoid of make-up.

And Alec still found him completely beautiful.

“Did you sleep well?” Magnus was asking.  
“Magnus, I'm so sorry.” Alec untangled his legs from the blanket, and got up from the couch. “I didn't mean to fall asleep- it was rude, and I ruined the date and-”

“Alec, honestly,” Magnus cocked his head, visibly amused. “it happens. It's my fault, anyway- I gave you too much wine.” he stopped stirring, tapping the teaspoon against the mug's rim. “Would you like some coffee?”

“I'd love to stay, but, uh. I should probably get home.” Alec said apologetically as he shrugged his jacket back on.

“Mm,” Magnus nodded, swallowing his mouthful of caffeine before answering. “I get it.”

“I had a great time last night, Magnus.”

“As did I.” At Alec's doubtful look, he added: “I _did_ , Alexander. Have a little faith.”

Alec's heart lifted. “Can I see you again? Soon.”

“How soon are we talking?”

“I have to go with my sister to her boyfriend's gig later today.” Alec said. “Want to join us?”

“I'll be there.” Magnus said agreeably, walking Alec to the front door. “Oh- Alec, one more thing.”

“Yes?” Alec turned. He was pulled in by the shirt suddenly, and, before he could think, soft lips were pressed against his cheek. Magnus pulled back like a kiss on the cheek was nothing.

“I'll see you later, then.” He said. Alec could barely hear him over the rushing in his ears.

“Y-yeah.” Alec backed out of the door, unable to take his eyes off of Magnus. “Later.”

Magnus grinned, “You might want to fix up your hair- your family might get the wrong idea.” And with that, he closed the door, leaving Alec out in the hallway.

He combed his fingers through his wild bedhead as he descended the stairs, the realisation dawning on him.

He was going to be faced with a whole lot of questions when he got home.

* * *

 

“Walk of shame!” was how Alec was greeted, the very minute he set foot in the house. It was Isabelle, lying across one of the armchairs in the foyer and smirking like she knew the world's biggest secret.

“Shut up!” Alec hissed, eyes darting around nervously.

“Relax, big brother. No one else is here.”

“It's not a walk of shame.” he grumbled, throwing himself into the chair next to her. “I just fell asleep on his couch.”  
“After some long, steamy sex?”

“Isabelle!” Alec buried his face in his hands, flushing a dark red. “I just had too much...to drink.”

“Oh.” Isabelle leaned forward and tried to pry his fingers away from his face. “So you're still…?”

“A virgin? Yes.”

“Bummer.”

Alec glared at her through his fingers.

“It was just our first date.” Alec lowered his hands and adjusted his shirt irritably. He couldn't wait to get the damn offensively yellow thing off and get back into one of his sweaters.

Isabelle inspected her nails, still smirking. “When are you seeing him again?”

“Today. Is it okay if he comes with to Simon's performance?” Alec said. “I kind of told him it was okay.”

“Yes! Oh my god, I can't wait to meet him in person.” she gasped. “I bet he's perfect. You make him sound perfect.” she jumped up from her seat and made for the stairs. “I have to get ready; I want to make a good first impression.”

“Honestly, Iz, calm down.” Anyone else would swear that _Isabelle_ was the one dating Magnus.

“I'm going to wear my red dress with the boots!” Izzy practically flew up the stairs. Alec scoffed, lifting himself from the chair and stretching his arms over his head (he was a little stiff, even though the couch had seemed comfortable enough). His phone buzzed in his pocket.

It was a text from Magnus.

 

_I need to dress appropriately for this thing. Is flannel too cliché?_

 

Alec smiled to himself. He was about to reply when another message came through.

 

_I'm also thinking about styling my hair like Robert Smith. I could make it work_

 

Alec smothered his laugh with a hand, grinning into his palm. What he said next came effortlessly:

 

_**Whatever you wear, I'm sure you'll look amazing, Magnus.** _

 

_**But no to the hair** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I a little inspired by episode ten of Shadowhunters?  
> Yesnomaybe.  
> Thanks for reading <3 Hope I did the first date justice.
> 
> My tumblr: @kaleinope


	4. Take it with a Pinch of Cinnamon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alec takes his coffee black._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was really excited to get this chapter up. Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Emma' by Imagine Dragons (what I can see Simon's band performing. Also, the mood is great)_

Alec stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist as steam swelled around him. He glanced at himself in the fogged-up mirror- he needed to shave, he realised- before leaving the en-suite bathroom. As he shook out his wet hair with a hand, he noticed that he had a guest.

“I really need to start locking my door,” Alec said dryly. “if you're all just going to keep barging in whenever you like.”

“We all know how to pick locks, anyway.” Jace said, nonchalantly arranging Alec's textbooks in alphabetical order (Jace could pretend it didn't bother him, but Alec knew that anything even remotely disorganized pushed his brother's OCD buttons).

“And that scares me.” Alec gestured to the door. “Now please leave, so I can get dressed.”

“I have some questions first. Questions on a very, very pressing matter.”

Alec's jaw twitched. “So. Isabelle told you about Magnus.”

“I had to force it out of her, really. She was suspiciously excited about something.” Jace set Alec's physiology book down, his light eyebrows knitting together. “But there's one thing I don't get, about all of this.”

“Yeah?”  
“Why didn't you ever tell me that you're gay?”

Alec inhaled sharply. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, screwing his eyes shut. “Jace...”

He hated fighting with his brother. It barely ever happened, but, when it did, both of them could get unnecessarily vindictive- and neither of them liked to admit they were wrong. When Alec was fourteen, he and Jace had gone without speaking for three weeks; Alec had thought Jace had broken his archery bow, but wouldn't own up to it. In the end, it had turned out to be Isabelle's fault (twelve year old sisters tended to be reckless).

“I'm not angry.” Jace assured him. “I just...don't understand.”

“Look, I'm only just figuring this out, myself.” Alec said, choosing his words carefully. “I'm not even sure I can label myself as 'gay'- not yet.” he risked a glance at his brother. “You get that, right?”

Jace's expression softened. He inclined his head. “I get it.”

“Thank god.” Alec sighed, letting his tense shoulders relax.

“What kind of name is 'Magnus Bane', though?” Jace's usual cocky smirk had returned. “That's the kind of name you see on those online RPGs. You should ask him if he's a level 90 Warlock.”

“It suits him.” Alec said simply.

“What's he like? Oh, is he here?” Jace peered past Alec in the direction of the bathroom, waggling his eyebrows. “Never thought you the type, Alec.”

Alec frowned and hit Jace's forearm. “ _No_. He's not here. You can meet him later today, if you really want to.” At Jace's questioning look, he added: “At Simon's gig.”

“Great. Now you're trying to rope me into going to this stupid thing, too.” Jace let out a suffering sigh. “Fine, I'll come. I know you guys can't have fun without me, anyway.”

Alec sifted through the clothes in his cupboard, searching for an outfit. He settled on a gray sweater with relatively few holes, and dark blue jeans.

“You're not seriously wearing that.”

“Jace,” Alec enunciated. “Get. Out.”

“Wear something a little sexier. Something that says: 'look at me, just casually being positively fuckable'. You know?”

Alec picked up a shoe and chucked it at Jace, who sprinted from the room. “Out!”

* * *

 

Simon's gig was at Java Jones, a coffee shop that screamed 'indie'. Alec felt out of place as he ordered a plain, filter coffee and received a judgemental stare from the barista because of it. He stepped back from the counter and stared into the glass cabinet that held the baked goods, trying not to look too awkward.

“I'm assuming you either really like muffins,” said a voice next to his ear. “ _or,_ you're just staring at your gorgeous reflection in the glass.”

Alec whirled around, momentarily startled. Magnus beamed at him; he actually _had_ come in flannel, Alec was delighted to see. A dark red flannel shirt and skin-tight, ripped jeans that were tucked into boots (Magnus, somehow, could make even the grungiest of looks seem glamorous). An earring dangled from his left ear. Alec licked at his lower lip, fighting the dazed grin he knew was lurking beneath the surface.

“Magnus.” he practically breathed. “Hi.”

“Happy to see me, Blue Eyes?”

“Ye-” Alec barely got half a syllable out before Isabelle descended on them, Jace not far behind.  
“Magnus, right?” Izzy asked Magnus, her eyes bright. “I'm Alec's sister, Isabelle.”

Magnus's eyes had gone a little wider- it seemed he'd been surprised by the sudden appearance of Alec's siblings, and Alec couldn't blame him. Despite this, Magnus recovered smoothly and gave Isabelle a winning smile.

“Ah, yes. Alec's told me about you.” his gaze slid to Jace. “And you. Jace, is it?”

“Mm.” Jace crossed his arms, and Alec realized that he was actually trying to _intimidate_ Magnus.

“Excuse us.” Alec said, before grabbing Jace by the elbow and heading to the other side of the coffee shop, dragging him along like a child about to be scolded.

“What?” Jace complained.

“You know what.” Alec let go of his arm. “Be _nice_.”

“I just want him to know that if he hurts you, he's going to be in a lot of shit-”

“Jace, c'mon. You're acting like a seventh grader.” he said. “It isn't necessary, so stop it.”

“Or what?”  
“Or I'll break every bone in your body as I name them to you.”

“Really, Alec? Med-student threats?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “You are going to be nice.” He reiterated firmly, before walking back to the other two.

Magnus was in the middle of complimenting Izzy's dress.

“It's stunning, darling. Compliments your skin tone.”

“Thank you!” Isabelle's grin could've blinded passers-by. “Alec, I like this one. Keep him around.”  
“I see you two are getting on like a house on fire,” Alec cocked an eyebrow. “which is mildly frightening.”

Magnus laughed and slid his hand into Alec's, twining their fingers together. It was a simple gesture, but it still left Alec's heart pounding painfully against his ribs. The light sound of the store's bell distracted them; Simon had just entered the coffee shop, followed by a petite girl with fiery red hair.

“Babe!” Izzy threw her arms around Simon's lanky form, leaning up for a kiss. The red-head waved at the group awkwardly.

“Hi,” she said. “I'm Clary.”

“And I'm Jace.” Alec's brother was there in a flash, introducing himself to the new acquaintance with a confident smile. “Great to meet you, Clary.”

“Um. Yeah.” Clary seemed unaffected. “You too.”

Alec found himself rolling his eyes again; Jace was insatiable.

“You have a brilliant eye-roll.” Magnus leaned forward and murmured in his ear. “Has anyone ever told you that? It's partly sarcastic and all kinds of attractive.”

This was a first for Alec. “Thank you?” He could feel the embarrassed flush creep up the back of his neck. Magnus chuckled quietly, his breath tickling Alec's ear.

“Your coffee.” Alec heard the barista say, as a steaming mug was slid across the counter. Alec nodded his thanks.  
“You want anything, Magnus?” he asked.

“Hm, yes.” Magnus turned to the employee behind the counter. “I'll take a tall vanilla latte, with just a dash of cinnamon. No sugar.”

Alec smiled. “Cinnamon? In coffee?”

“You've never tried it?” Magnus moaned dramatically. “ _Alexander,_ you have not _lived!_ ”

“I'll stick to my black coffee, thanks.” he put his hand over Magnus's, stopping him before he could pay for the drink. “I've got it.”

Magnus blinked. “Are you sure?” he said, but Alec was already handing a few dollar bills to the cashier.

“Of course.” he replied, to which Magnus kissed his cheek swiftly.

“Could you two be any sweeter?” Isabelle cooed.

Magnus grinned and kissed Alec's cheek again, more than happy with the attention. Alec, on the other hand, was just about ready to retreat into a corner and die from embarrassment.

“Give it a rest, Izzy.”

* * *

 

The group found a cluster of bean bag chairs to sit on, near the 'stage' (which, really, was just a small wooden platform). Alec sank into a large, blue seat, and Magnus sat down with him, their shoulders pressed together. Isabelle was talking animatedly to Simon as the band set up. Clary was watching them, her eyes narrowed; when she realised Alec had caught her staring, she looked apologetic.

“I'm jealous of Isabelle's hair. I can't do anything with my own.” Clary said miserably, running her fingers through her straggled curls. Jace sat up straighter (which was difficult, since the bean bag was so huge it was threatening to swallow him).

“Are you kidding? You're stunning.” Jace said. “Like a Victoria's Secret model.”

Alec heard Magnus snicker under his breath. Alec wondered why Jace had suddenly become so horrible at flirting.

“Right.” Clary snorted. “I'm so secret, Victoria doesn't even know about me.”

Jace, for once, had nothing to say. It was clear that he'd never had his advances ignored by a girl. Isabelle perched herself on the edge of Jace's bean bag.

“They're going to start in a minute.” she said, nodding towards the stage. “What's the band's name today?” she looked to Clary for the answer.

“Sea Vegetable Conspiracy.” the redhead sipped her latte, as if she hadn't just said the weirdest set of words Alec had ever had the displeasure of hearing.

“Solomon's really bad at this naming thing, isn't he?” Magnus mused.

“The band changes its name, like, twice a week.” Clary pulled a face. “Kirk's the reason for that, mostly, but I blame Simon for letting him do it.”

Alec drained his coffee and set it on the low table. “Please tell me their music sounds better than their name.”

“Don't worry, they're amazing.” Isabelle said. “I've been to plenty of their band practices.”

Jace scoffed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Groupie'.

“So,” Isabelle directed a sweet smile at Magnus, as she dug her nails into Jace's shoulder. “What do you do?”

“I'm studying interior design.” Magnus responded. Jace winced and wrenched himself from Izzy's vice grip.

“How does a student like you meet a pre-med student?” Jace asked cautiously, rubbing his shoulder.

“Not easily.” Alec joked, and got a withering stare from his brother in return.

“What Alexander means to say, is that we met by chance.” Magnus said. “Fortunate coincidence.”

Magnus was holding his hand again- Alec tried his absolute best to keep his breathing normal, so he didn't look like an asphyxiating idiot in front of the guy he liked.

It was nice to admit it to himself- to realise that he _liked_ Magnus, in that way. He was suddenly, ridiculously reminded of Max's crush on the little blonde girl.

Alec interlocked their fingers comfortably, subtly running his thumb over Magnus's index finger. Magnus seemed to approve, because he immediately relaxed into Alec's side.

“Have you always lived in America?” Isabelle was asking Magnus, curious. “Sorry if that's a question you get often, but.” she shrugged, not really looking sorry at all. Alec raised an eyebrow at her.

“Izzy, do you really have to interrogate him?”

“It's alright, Alec. I don't mind.” Magnus said, although he seemed hesitant. “I was born in Indonesia. Moved to England when I was still a baby.” he adjusted his earring. “I've lived in America for the better half of my life, though.”

“I've always wanted to go to England.” Izzy said wistfully. Magnus's laugh was soft, and right by Alec's ear, and Alec caught the scent of cinnamon on his breath which was, somehow, _incredibly attractive._

Alec's body trembled, despite the warmth.

* * *

 

“You guys were amazing!” Isabelle exclaimed, grabbing onto Simon's hands the minute he stepped down from the stage.

“I have to say, Sajjaad- your band isn't half bad.” Magnus said.

Simon blinked. “You're getting my name wrong on purpose, right? You have to be.”

Magnus kept a straight face and said nothing. Alec laughed.

“Iz, I'll catch up with you later.” he told his sister. “I promised I'd walk Magnus back to the subway.”

After he and Magnus said goodbye to everyone- although Jace didn't even really notice, as he was too busy flirting with the tiny ginger- they left the coffee shop. It was pleasantly warm outside.

“That was nice.” Magnus smiled at him, and Alec's heart started to stutter again (that couldn't have been healthy, _honestly_ ).

“I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm sorry you had to meet everyone like that, though.” Alec said. “Jace and Izzy can be...overbearing.”

“Alexander, relax.” Magnus squeezed his hand. “I like your siblings. Sherman and Clary need a little more personality, though.”

Alec laughed, bumping his shoulder against Magnus's. He wasn't sure how he was so comfortable, walking through the streets of Brooklyn, hand-in-hand with another man. Maybe it was because, in a way, it felt right.

They'd reached the subway station.

“So, I'll...see you. Sometime.” Alec started.

“I should hope so.” Magnus stepped closer to him. “And I expect a text from you tonight.”

“I'll send you ten texts, if that's what you want.” Alec murmured. Magnus's face was getting inevitably closer. “Or twenty.”

“Mm.” Cinnamon. Alec could practically taste it, Magnus was getting so close. He was going to kiss him, it was going to happen, and- _oh god Alec's chest was hurting._

He pulled back.

“Um. Bye.” Alec stammered, and turned on his heel, walking away from a bemused Magnus.

* * *

 

Alec spent the rest of the weekend feeling like a royal idiot. By the time it was Sunday night, he was _still_ in his bedroom, listening to the same songs on repeat and, generally, acting like a moody teenage girl.

He heard someone stamp down the hall, their footsteps heavy and purposeful. Izzy swung his door open, her damp, loose hair framing a murderous expression.

“Turn that shit down.” she raised her voice over the music.

“No.”

Isabelle groaned in frustration and stormed over to his docking station, yanking the iPod from its port.

“Hey!”

“Alec, if I had to hear that song one more time, I was going to _kill someone._ ” she threw the device at him. “Stop moping.”

Alec sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. “I messed up.”

“I know. We've been through this. Many times.” Isabelle crossed her arms. “You should've let him kiss you.”

“I know. I _wanted_ him to.”

“You are such a weird big brother.” Isabelle muttered. She stared at him thoughtfully for a minute, pushing her dripping hair away from her eyes.

“It's never too late, Alec. You know that, right?”

Alec considered this, pressing his lips into a thin line. In a sudden, decisive motion, he was up from the bed and pulling his jacket on.  
“Alec?”

“I'm going out.”

* * *

 

The subway ride to Brooklyn was a blur, as was the walk to Magnus's apartment. He was at his doorstep before he knew it, pressing insistently against the buzzer. He knew it was late, and Magnus might have been sleeping, but Alec was acting out single-mindedly- regardless of consequence.

“ _What?”_ an incredibly irritated voice came over the speakers. “ _Whoever this is, I suggest you leave before I-”_

“Magnus,” Alec said, breathless. “It's me.”

Silence. Alec wasn't sure what to make of this- until the front door was open and Magnus was there, in that damn kimono, his hair loose and effortless-

Alec took a step forward, pulling Magnus in by his robe, and crashed their lips together. The kiss was far from tender, or careful, but it was determined. His heart soared as they stumbled into the apartment together.

Magnus tasted like spearmint and cinnamon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, what have I done.  
> PS: Clace will probably happen, it's just that I like the idea of Clary not being all over Jace the second she sees him.  
> Also, don't get me wrong- _I_ love love love Simon. It's just Magnus that couldn't care less about him xD


	5. A Perfect Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alec wasn't sure whether to feel excited or scared._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is: the fifth chapter! I'm so sorry it took a little longer, but I really really wanted to get it just right.  
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Close to Me [Closet Remix]' by The Cure (Alec just really likes the cure, okay xD)_

Alec hadn't thought anything through much, for once. He was never impulsive; he never acted out on a whim. He thought about things before he did them- he didn't just go up to strangers and flirt, or go on spontaneous road trips, or drink straight from the milk carton. Alec Lightwood was cautious, responsible. But for Magnus, he found he could make an exception.

Naturally, Magnus had been surprised for about a minute, before he slid a slender hand into Alec's hair and returned the kiss with fervour. Alec's hands curled at Magnus's hips, his knuckles sliding over silk.

Alec's lips parted, searching for air. He breathed in Magnus's intoxicating scent and his head swirled.

“Did I,” he murmured. “Did I wake you up? I'm sorry-”

“Alexander. Shush.”

“Mm.” This kiss was slower, their mouths moving in careful synchronization; Alec was letting Magnus take the lead. The taller man's fingers kneaded through Alec's hair, which made his knees feel weak. As if sensing this, Magnus backed up to the couch.

Alec found himself in Magnus's lap, knees pressing into the plum material on either side of Magnus's hips. Magnus kissed Alec's lower lip tenderly and trailed his fingers along his side. A tremor ran up Alec's spine. He was still, he supposed, a teenager in terms of physiology- which meant his hormones were running dangerously high. He broke the kiss before they could get carried away.

“Well,” Magnus breathed, his lips curling upwards. “If only this kind of thing happened more often.”

“What?” Alec sat up straighter, combing his fingers through his tousled hair.

“Beautiful men showing up on my doorstep and kissing me.”

Alec scoffed and tried to slide off of Magnus's lap- but Magnus held onto his hips, keeping him in place.

“I'm only teasing, darling.”

“I know.” Alec found himself gazing at Magnus's eyes; bright green, with a sort of gold undertone that Alec couldn't place. It was the first time he'd been able to look into someone's eyes so comfortably- normally he would glance away, fidget awkwardly- but it was different this time. He couldn't bring himself to look away.

“That was the best kiss I've ever had.” he found himself saying, before he could really stop the words. His eyes widened and he leaned back, covering his mouth with his hand. “I'm such a dweeb.” He mumbled through his fingers.

Magnus laughed softly. “No, you're sweet. Who says you're a dweeb?”

“Isabelle.”

“Oh, pish.” Magnus's smile was amused. “But...your best kiss, you say? I'm flattered.”

“Uh,” Alec swallowed. “Yeah.” he said brilliantly.

It _was_ the truth. It was the first kiss he'd ever had that had left him wanting more.

“Penny for your thoughts, Alec?”

“I want to kiss you again.” Alec murmured, but pressed his index finger to Magnus's lips when he started to lean forward. “But I can't.”

“May I ask why?” Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“Thing is, I have to get home because I have class at 7 AM, and if I stay here and kiss you I won't be able to stop, so-”

“Next time, then.” Magnus nodded, and Alec was grateful he could be so understanding.

“But, maybe...” Alec hesitated and kissed the corner of Magnus's mouth, letting his lips linger for a second. He pulled back slowly, satisfied.

“Next time,” Alec said. “we can...we can kiss a lot more.”

“Mm, what wonderful promises you make.” Magnus ran his hand along Alec's side again. “I hope you follow through on them.”

Alec laughed softly and detached himself from Magnus, getting to his feet. “I'll see you tomorrow. I'm...sorry for interrupting your rest.”

“It's okay, darling. I get more than my fair share of beauty sleep.” Magnus smirked, gesturing towards himself. “As you can probably tell.”

“Cocky.” Alec snorted.

“I've been told.”

Alec headed for the front door. Magnus followed him and leaned against the door-frame, arms crossed over his chest.

“Let's go on our third date tomorrow.” Magnus suggested. Alec nodded and adjusted Magnus's robe (which was starting to slip from his left shoulder), his thumb brushing against his collarbone. Magnus's eyelashes fluttered.

“Alec, you should go home before I drag you in here and kiss you again.” he murmured.

“Right. Sorry.” Alec grinned- he felt like a teenager again, like he'd just had his very first kiss. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“That you will.” Magnus smiled lazily. “Sleep well, darling.”

“You too.” Alec jogged down the stairs, running his fingers along his lips. They were still tingling from the kiss- which, Alec decided, was another first for him.

He loved it.

* * *

 

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Alec to pay attention in class, especially with Magnus texting him every few minutes (not that Alec minded). The most recent message almost caused Alec to laugh out loud, right in the middle of a lecture; he had to bite into the end of his pencil to stop himself. It was a picture of Magnus's cat (which, honestly, was just a really tiny fluff-ball) lying on the edge of Magnus's bed, wrestling with what looked to be a plastic bottle. The caption read:

 

_He rolled off the bed a second after I took this picture._

 

_**Poor Chairman. Pick him up** _

 

_Nah, he's fine._

 

Alec smiled and drummed his fingers against the desk, setting his phone aside. The lecturer was telling the class about...well, Alec wasn't sure yet, since he hadn't tuned in enough. His phone buzzed again.

 

_I'm heading to campus now. Let's meet up at the coffee shop_

 

_You know the one_

 

_**Magnus, I have class** _

 

_So? just skip ;)_

 

Alec hesitated. He'd never skipped out on class before- not even in high school. It just wasn't something he did. It was almost like that level of rule-breaking went against every fibre of his being.

 

_Do it for me?_

 

_**On my way.** _

* * *

 

Alec gripped his latte, staring into the froth. The barista had made some kind of pattern in it, which Alec was pretending to appreciate- but, really, he was just wishing he'd ordered his usual.

“I can't believe I'm doing this.” he mumbled.

“You can't believe you actually listened to me and decided to be adventurous with your coffee?” Magnus was pouring tea out of a small teapot and into a fancy-looking cup. “It's not the end of the world, honey.”

“No, I can't believe I'm skipping class.” Alec said.

“Alexander, you're in college now. The professors don't give an actual damn about whether you attend or not.”

“But I need a ninety percent attendance rate so I can take the exams-”

“And you'll have that ninety.” Magnus placed a hand on Alec's forearm, rubbing gently. “This is just one time. Calm down, okay?”

Alec felt himself relax under Magnus's touch; his shoulders loosened, he leaned back in his chair. “You're right.” he smiled slightly. “I'm being ridiculous.”

“I mean, it's not like I'm asking you to change your name and flee with me to Peru.” Magnus sipped his tea. “I save that kind of thing for the fifth date.”

“ _Magnus._ ”

“No? I hear Peru's lovely this time of year.”

Alec rolled his eyes and gave his latte a try- it wasn't half bad, he guessed, just a little sweeter than he was used to. As he licked some foam off of his lips, Magnus asked:

“How did you sleep last night?”

“With my eyes closed.” Alec said. He glanced up at Magnus, whose lips were curled in that amused smirk. “I'm kidding. That was...that was a joke.” he took a huge sip of his coffee to occupy his mouth, and ended up burning his tongue. “A dumb joke.”

“You're adorable when you get all flustered.” Magnus said.

“Thanks?” Alec grinned, hoping he didn't look too awkward. “I, uh, actually struggled to sleep. I was thinking about...the kiss, too much.”

“Mm, me too.”

Alec paused. “Really?”

“Well, Alec,” Magnus twisted the large silver ring he had on, looking thoughtful. “you always came across as so shy, and uncertain. And then you pulled away from me when I tried to kiss you that first time- don't deny it.” Magnus raised an eyebrow, and Alec shut his mouth. “So I wasn't sure if you _wanted_ any kind of physical affection. And then you showed up at my door and you kissed me- and it was so spontaneous and _hot_ -” Magnus reached across the table, fingers brushing against Alec's. “And I liked it. _A lot._ So, naturally, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.”

“Yeah. Well.” Alec slotted his fingers through Magnus's. He took a deep breath. “Magnus, I want...”

“To kiss me again?”

“No- I mean yes! Yes, of course I do.” Alec cleared his throat. “But I also...want to be your boyfriend.”

“Hmm, I'm not sure, Alexander. Shouldn't you buy me dinner, first?” If it hadn't been for the mischievous glint in Magnus's eyes, Alec's heart might have stopped on the spot. “Of course we can be boyfriends, Alec. In fact, I'd love that.”

And they were kissing again, and Magnus tasted like Earl Grey and raspberry lipgloss, and their noses kept bumping but neither of them could bring themselves to care.

Alec's phone vibrated in his pocket and he cursed internally, because he'd have to stop the kiss to check who was trying to get hold of him and he _really_ didn't want to do that-

“Are you going to check that?” Magnus pulled back, his gaze questioning.

“Uh huh.” Alec exhaled and pulled his cellphone out to read the message. “It's my mom. She needs me to pick Max up soon.”

“Your other little brother, yes?”

“Yeah. She usually needs me to fetch him on a Monday.” he looked up at Magnus, blue eyes hopeful. “You could...come with me?”

Magnus shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Alec, I don't know...”

“Please? I want you to.”

Magnus stared at him for a minute. “Oh,” he sighed. “how could I ever say no to _that_?”

* * *

 

“Who's this?” Max asked, the second he slid into the back seat. Alec glanced in the rear-view mirror to see that his brother's eyes were wide with curiosity. “Does he know he has glitter in his hair?” Max went on, which caused Magnus to chuckle under his breath.

“Max, this is Magnus Bane- remember, I told you about him? And, yes- ten to one, he knows about the glitter.”

Magnus turned in his seat to smile at Max. “Hi, little man.”

“Hi.” Max pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “So you're dating my big brother.” he crossed his arms over his chest in an imitation of Jace. Alec fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“I'll be good to Alec, I promise.” Magnus told him seriously. “I wouldn't want to get into trouble with you.”

“Okay, good.” Max nodded, lowering his arms. “So, _why_ is there glitter in your hair?” he clearly wasn't ready to give up on that one.

“Because glitter makes everything ten times as fabulous.” Magnus said. “Don't you think?”  
“That's sounds like the kind of thing Izzy would say.”

“Well, your sister has good taste.”

Alec smiled as he backed the car out of the parking lot. He was happy to see Magnus getting along with his youngest sibling- not that Max was a very difficult person.

“Oh, Max.” Alec said, glancing back at his brother. “How's Suzie?”

Max's expression immediately fell flat. “She's ignoring me.”

Alec frowned. “How come?”

“I don't know.” Max shrugged helplessly. “She just said I wasn't allowed to be friends with Jaime anymore, and I said I couldn't do that, and now she's ignoring me.”

“Ah,” Magnus murmured. “Young love is a fickle thing.”

“Why doesn't she like Jaime?” Alec asked.

“He said her hair looked like a bleached poodle.”

“She's blonde?” Magnus leaned over the centre console and said confidentially to Max: “If it helps, I've found it's best to never trust a blonde girl. They tend to be pretty heartless.”

Alec found himself wondering if Magnus was speaking from experience. He had to swallow against the rising feeling of jealousy.

“Really?” Max blinked at Magnus.

“Oh, yeah. I'd suggest you forget all about her. If she wants you to give up your friends, she isn't worth it.”

“All right...” Max nodded slowly. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“You're very welcome.”

“So...” Alec tapped his index finger against the steering wheel. “Am I still not allowed to tell Izzy and Jace about Suzie?”

“Don't you dare!”

* * *

 

“This is your bedroom?” Magnus asked, as Alec shut the door behind them.

“I prefer to call it 'my lair', really.” Alec joked. “'Bedroom' just sounds too...generic.”

Magnus laughed, moving through the room. He seemed to be searching for something.

“Seriously, though, Alec,” he leaned against the desk. “ _This_ is your room? There aren't any personal touches to it!” he waved his arm in an expressive motion, gesturing at their surroundings.

“Well...I'm not one for posters or ornaments or...” Alec shrugged. “You know.”

“We need to fix this.” Magnus tutted. Suddenly, he perked up, as if something had just occurred to him. “Oh! Alec, this is perfect!”

“Magnus, a minute ago you said-”

“This is the perfect _opportunity_.” Magnus took Alec's hand and led him over to the bed, sitting down. Alec stayed standing in front of him, unsure, so Magnus hooked his fingers through Alec's belt loops and gazed up at him seriously.

“Alexander,” he said. “Would you do me the honour of being my semester project?”

“Sure.” Alec said, on reflex. Then: “What...does that mean?”

“For one of my classes, I have to redesign a room. Give it an entirely new look. This,” Magnus grinned. “is going to be that room.”

Alec wasn't sure whether to feel excited or scared. He settled for both. “Yay?”

“You're going to _love it._ ” Magnus tugged at his loops, pulling him down for a kiss. “How would you feel about a lime green colour for the walls?”

“I would literally rather die.”

“Saffron?” Magnus smirked. “We both know how much you love yellow.”

Alec groaned. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Don't mind if I do.”

* * *

 

Magnus left hours later with the promise that he'd be back with a portfolio filled with ideas, and colour palettes, and fabric swatches. Alec hoped, as he closed the front door behind Magnus's retreating form, that he hadn't made a mistake agreeing to his boyfriend's request.

 _His boyfriend._ That was something he could get used to saying.

He walked into the kitchen, unable to wipe the grin off his face.

“And why do you look so happy?” Isabelle asked, and Alec jumped. He hadn't noticed she was there.

“Shit, how are you always _everywhere?”_ Alec grumbled, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl. “This house is huge. You'd think it'd be easier to avoid you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Izzy turned from the stove, waving the soup ladle at him threateningly. “Don't spoil your appetite. Dinner is in an hour.”

Alec raised an eyebrow and bit into his apple, turning to leave the kitchen.

“Wait! You didn't answer my question.”

“I have a boyfriend.” Alec said simply, using his sweater sleeve to wipe apple juice from his chin.

“ _What?_ ” Isabelle's voice rose an octave, and Alec winced. “That's great!”

“What's great?” Jace walked into the kitchen and wrinkled his nose. “And what's that smell?”

“I'm making stew,” Izzy poked at the contents of the pot. “And Alec has a boyfriend!”

“So you guys made it official, huh?” Jace asked. Alec hesitated before nodding affirmatively. “You don't think it's too soon?”

“Well...”

“You know what?” Jace sighed. “I'm happy for you, man.”

Alec nearly dropped his apple. “You are?”

“Yeah. As long as _you're_ happy, that is.”

“I am. I definitely am.” Alec assured him. “You _really_ don't need to worry about that.”

“Then it's awesome.” Jace paused, his gaze sliding downwards. “Alec… is that a _hickey_?”

“What?” Alec slapped a hand over his neck. “Of course not.” Isabelle had stopped stirring her sludge of a stew to stare at her oldest brother. “It's _not!_ ” he protested.

“Sure looks like one to me.” Jace said.

“It's. It's just a...” Alec gave up and pushed past Jace to get out of the kitchen. “Shut your smug face.” he grumbled.

Alec decided he needed to ask Magnus to be more subtle, the next time they made out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cuties are boyfriends now! Yay!  
> Thank you all so much for reading :3
> 
> (Btw, about Magnus's blonde girl comment: he's only saying that because he's bitter regarding a very certain blonde someone. So. We'll see where that leads...)
> 
> My tumblr: @kaleinope


	6. Color Me Impressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Emotion could be so exhausting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really having the best time writing this. This chapter might be a bit of a filler, but, I'm trying to write this story at a very specific pace, sooo. Enjoyyy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Chemistry' by Semisonic_

If there was one thing Alec Lightwood absolutely detested, it was waking up too early. His head would feel heavy, his eyes itched, and his mouth and throat were always way too dry. He wasn't a morning person. He never had been.

That was why, when he peeled his eyes open one early Saturday morning- because of some kind of _freaking insistent_ noise in his left ear- the last thing he needed to see was his boyfriend.

“Rise and shine, darling.” Magnus's face hovered over his- too close, too...bright. The source of the noise seemed to be coming from Alec's alarm.

“Magnus!” Alec yelped, rocketing backwards and (brilliantly) knocking his head against the headboard. Anatomy notes scattered from the duvet and onto the floor. He stared at his unexpected guest, horrified; he didn't want Magnus to see him like _this._ His hair was a mess (more than usual), he probably had rings under his eyes from sleep deprivation, he was in his _pyjamas_ _for god's sake-_

“Did you stay up all night studying again?” Magnus frowned at the mess of notes on Alec's bed. “These all-nighters aren't healthy, you know.”

“What...” Alec winced and rubbed the back of his head. “How are you here?”

“Isabelle let me in.” Magnus raised an eyebrow, perching himself on the edge of Alec's bed. Alec glanced at his alarm clock- how the hell did Magnus manage to look so damned perfect at _six in the morning?_ He reached forward and shut off the alarm; the sound was starting to get on his nerves.

“ _Why_ are you here?” Alec grumbled. “And why do you look so nice.”

Well, apparently Alec had no filter in the morning, either.

“Nice to see you too.” his boyfriend laughed, inspecting his glittery nails.

“Seriously, Magnus.”  
“Did you forget? Today's the day we start redecorating!” Magnus swept his arm outwards, gesturing to the bedroom in its entirety. His words were laced with excitement- Alec knew, by now, when Magnus was eager to do something. His entire body coiled with barely-contained energy, his green eyes sparked; he basically brimmed with the emotion like a pot that was about to boil over. At that moment however, Alec couldn't have cared less. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

“It's way too early for this.” Alec sighed and tugged at the blankets, intent on rolling over. Magnus kept a firm grip on the duvet to prevent him from doing so.

“You promised, Alexander.”

“Can't it wait, like, an hour?” Alec huffed. “I was...having a nice dream, so I'd like to get back to it.”

“Oh?” Magnus was smirking. “Was it about me?”

It was amazing how Magnus could make Alec's face turn a bright scarlet in a matter of seconds. “Y- maybe.”

“Interesting. You'll have to tell me the details a little later...” Magnus was leaning forward for a kiss- Alec recoiled, placing a hand over his own mouth.  
“Morning breath.” he mumbled in response to Magnus's questioning look.

“Oh, please. I've endured worse.” When Alec still refused to lower his hand, Magnus sighed and rolled his eyes. “Suit yourself.”

“I need to, uh...” Alec's gaze flicked towards the door, silently asking Magnus to leave. The last thing he wanted Magnus to see were his cartoon penguin boxers.

“Right.” Magnus stood. “You have ten minutes to get ready. Hurry it up, Blue Eyes.” he winked at Alec and left the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him.

Alec sighed and managed to drag himself out of bed. He pulled on an old shirt and some track pants, brushed his teeth and calmed his bedhead; the whole process only took about six minutes. He shuffled down the hall, yawning into his fist as he searched for his boyfriend. As expected, Magnus was in Izzy's bedroom.

“Damn you _morning people_.” Alec said, in the way of greeting. He kicked at one of the shoes on Isabelle's floor. “Damn you.” he repeated, yawning again- so widely, tears actually formed at the corners of his eyes. He felt incredibly sluggish.

“Don't worry, Alec's always like this when he's woken up too early.” Isabelle said, waving a dismissive hand. Magnus nodded, but he seemed distracted. He was regarding the cosmetics on Izzy's dresser with a critical eye.

“You need to get a better foundation, dear. I know just the one.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“In fact, I think I'll take you shopping. There's this absolutely gorgeous place you'll love-”

“Okay!” Alec clapped his hands together, cutting them off. “Before we're here all day: Magnus, didn't we have something to do?”

“Ah, yes.” Magnus pulled himself out of Izzy's pink armchair, and his excitement was tangible again. It almost made Alec want to smile- except, he didn't have enough energy for that yet.

“Have fun.” Izzy sang, tilting her head to the side. Her dark hair tumbled across her face.

“What, you don't want to help?” Alec's eyebrow rose.

“Tempting, but no. I actually have a date with Simon.”

“Shit, Iz, when do you _not_ have a date with that guy?”

“Well, Alec and I should really get started.” Magnus gripped Alec's shirt sleeve and started pulling him from the room. “Those walls aren't going to paint themselves.”

“You two behave!” Izzy called after them. Magnus's lips curled upwards.

“We will!” Magnus promised, although Alec wasn't so sure. “Say hi to Steven for us!”

* * *

 

“ _This_ is the color we're using?” Alec had just pried the paint tin open, and was staring at its contents in disbelief. He leaned back and tried to look at the paint from a different angle; maybe the lighting was affecting the color.

“You don't like it?” Magnus was pulling one of Alec's sweaters on (Alec had insisted, since he didn't want to see Magnus's clothes get ruined), so his words came out muffled. Once he'd managed to get the sweater over his head, Alec did his best not to blush- it was weird, seeing Magnus in something of his, but mildly attractive, too.

“It's gray.” Alec stated. “I assumed you'd choose something...bright.”

“I thought you might like gray walls.” Magnus knelt down next to where Alec was seated on the floor, so they were eye-level. “Or was I wrong?”

“You weren't.” Alec smiled.

“Gray is the perfect neutral.” Magnus said. “It's also a color that goes with almost _anything,_ so, we'll have lots of options when it comes to decorating.”

“Great.” Alec started to pour the paint into the plastic tray, his grip on the tin steady and careful. He felt Magnus's gaze on him and glanced up reluctantly.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just love watching you concentrate.” Magnus grinned. “Your eyes go a little darker and sometimes you do this thing where you bite your lip-”

“Okay,” Alec spluttered, his face burning again. “I- I think I get it.” He still wasn't used to Magnus admiring him- and he didn't think he'd ever get used to it, in all honesty.

His boyfriend laughed and pressed a light kiss against his neck. Alec shivered. That was _another_ thing he hadn't grown accustomed to- not that he _minded_ neck kisses. At all.

“Let's do this thing.” Magnus dipped his roller in the paint and rose to his feet, running a long streak of gray up the white wall. Alec picked up his own roller, just as someone knocked on the open door. He looked up to see his mother, outfitted in a dress suit and dark hair pulled into a tight bun- presumably, on her way to work (like always).

“Hard at work, boys?” Maryse said.

“Hi, mom.”  
“Mrs Lightwood!” Magnus greeted Maryse with a blinding smile. “Lovely to see you, as always. May I say that you're looking particularly stunning, today? I love that blazer.”

“Oh, thank you, Magnus.” Maryse glanced down at herself, as if she couldn't see what he saw.

“Work?” Alec asked. It was a question the Lightwood kids had gotten too used to asking- so much so, that it had been reduced to a single word.

“Yes, well, you know how it is.” Maryse said vaguely. “I came to tell you I'll be home by five.” she glanced at her wristwatch, eyebrows raising. “I can't wait to see how the room turns out. And, Magnus,” she was turning to leave, “you're welcome to join us for dinner tonight.”

“Will do, Mrs- oh, she's gone.” Magnus sighed, turning back to Alec. “Have you told them?”

“That I'm...that we're dating?”

“Well, actually, I wanted to know if you've told them you're thinking of marrying a hooker and moving to South America to live out your days in the rainforest- but, yes. The dating thing too.”

Alec swallowed. “No.”

“Alexander, it's been _two months._ ”

“I know, I know.” Alec exhaled, fidgeting with the paint roller. “It's just...it isn't easy.”

“So your parents still think I'm 'a friend'?” Magnus was skeptical. “And you don't think they might have figured it out themselves, by now? They're not exactly stupid.”

Alec avoided looking at his boyfriend by pretending that he was particularly absorbed in painting the wall. “This really is a great color...”

“Alec. Just promise me you'll tell them soon, okay?”

“I will.” Alec said. Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's cheek, the kiss a fleeting one. Alec was sorely tempted to turn his head and just capture Magnus's lips in a _real_ kiss- but that was going to have to wait until later.

He'd had two absolutely amazing months with Magnus. What they had felt good- it felt _right._ He supposed they were moving at a comfortable, slow pace (although sometimes his teenage hormones begged to move a little faster), which was what he needed. He was only just discovering who he was, and what he liked. So why was the prospect of telling his parents so terrifying? His siblings already knew- what was the difference? He should have felt comfortable with the idea of telling his parents about Magnus, but, it seemed it just wasn't that easy.

Something cold touched Alec's cheek, pulling his attention away from his thoughts. It was Magnus, his fingers dripping gray paint as they grazed Alec's face.

“You spaced out.” Magnus grinned cheekily, as Alec touched the painted line that ran along his cheekbone.

“So you decided to give me warpaint.”

“It suits you.” Magnus said. “Also- hey,” his breath hitched as Alec dipped his own fingers in the paint and ran them along Magnus's neck, in the frame of three seconds. “That's cold!”

“Oh, I know.”

“As tempting as it is, engaging in a paint fight with you, I really don't want to waste any of this stuff- don't!” Magnus laughed; Alec had covered his palm in paint, and was threatening to press it against Magnus's face. “Alexander!”

“Fine.” Alec smiled to himself, wiping the hand off on his pants. “Never thought _you'd_ be the boring one. Hell's probably freezing over as we speak.”

“Shut up and paint the wall, darling.”

* * *

 

“That,” Magnus threw himself onto Alec's bed, draping an arm over his face, “was sufficiently exhausting.”

Alec chuckled and rubbed at his forehead with the back of his hand, where a streak of paint had dried to his skin. “We did great.” he turned in a slow circle, admiring the room. The gray walls created a calm, contemporary atmosphere- at least, that's how Magnus had described it.

“We've also done more than enough for one day.” Magnus lifted his arm and beckoned for Alec to come closer. “Get over here.”

Alec walked over and sprawled himself out over the sheets, right next to Magnus. This, apparently, wasn't good enough, because Magnus rolled over to straddle Alec a second later.

“Hey.” Alec murmured.

“Hey.” Magnus responded, and leaned down to kiss Alec's nose. “Thanks for lending me your clothes.” Alec nodded absently, thumbing a hole in the sleeve of said sweater. “I think I'll keep it. I'll wear it at night and think of you.”

“O-okay.” Alec mumbled, flustered. “You can...do that.”

“So,” Magnus mouthed light kisses along Alec's jaw. “what are your sleeping arrangements for the weekend?”

“I. What?” Alec was far too distracted to properly respond.

“Well, I don't want you sleeping in a room with wet paint, Alexander.”

“I'll just...sleep in the guest room.” he said. Magnus's lips were on the sensitive part of Alec's neck now; Alec was struggling to form coherent thoughts.

“Or, how about...” Magnus breathed against Alec's skin, and Alec could feel him grinning. “You spend the rest of the weekend at my apartment?”

“Or that.” Alec's entire body trembled. “That sounds good, too.”

“Thought you might like that idea.” his boyfriend sat back. Alec ran his fingers along where Magnus's lips had been a moment before, where the skin was warm and alive with electricity.

“Why do I feel like I was just manipulated?”

“Alexander, how could you accuse me of such a thing?” Magnus placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. Alec rolled his eyes, and Magnus winked and slid off his lap.

“I need to get home, before the Chairman thinks I've abandoned him forever.”

“You have a very demanding cat.” Alec sighed, propping himself up with his elbows. “It's because you spoil him too much.” Magnus shrugged and got to his feet.

“I'll see you later, yes?” he looked down at Alec and raised an expectant eyebrow.

“As long as this doesn't turn into one of those sleepovers where we share secrets and talk about cute boys.” Alec said.

“Dammit- I was _so_ looking forward to braiding your hair.”

* * *

 

“I don't know how it's possible to mess up frozen mini pizzas,” Jace announced as Alec walked through the lounge. “but Izzy's managed it. God help us all.”

“Yeah...I'm having dinner at Magnus's.” Alec tried not to sound too relieved.

“Take me with you.” Jace paused his video game, staring up at his brother with pleading eyes. “I'm going to die of food poisoning if things go on like this.”

“As much as I'd love to,” Alec's words dripped with sarcasm, “no.” he adjusted his bag's strap and took a step forward; Jace propped his feet up on the coffee table, using his legs as a barrier.

“Hang on, now.” Jace drawled. “Are you... _spending the nigh_ _t_ at Magnus's place?” when Alec didn't respond, Jace sat up straighter. “You are, aren't you? Way to go, Alec!” he laughed.

“It's not like that!” Alec's words were rushed. “My room was just painted, so-”

“Excuses.” Jace said. “It's about time you two took this thing to the next level.”

“Jace, you're in high school- what do you even _know_ about the 'next level'?” Alec paused. “You know what, never mind. Don't even answer that question, because I don't want to know.”

“Not all of us are prudes, big brother.”

“I could punch you right now. I really could.” he stepped over Jace's legs to leave.

“Do you need a condom? I'm more than willing to share a few-”

“Good _bye_ , Jace.”

As Alec shut the front door behind him, with a definitive slam, his mind reeled over Jace's words. His heart thrummed in his ears. What if that _was_ what Magnus had in mind? He was far from ready for such a huge leap. He needed to talk to Magnus about it first, but how did you bring something like that up? 'By the way, I was wondering, are you thinking of having sex? First, I need to have a lengthy discussion pertaining to the details'. Alec groaned internally- that wasn't sexy at all.

What the _hell_ was he going to do?

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck; his body was a livewire of nervous excitement (a feeling he experienced all too often, when it came to Magnus), and he could feel himself getting a headache because of it.

Emotion could be so exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up by next week Wednesday. Obviously, the actual smut is not going to happen yet (a little too soon for that)- there's sooo much more Alec is going to get to experience first, if you know what I mean. He just doesn't realise that yet, obviously (he's a noob and Jace puts ideas in his head way too easily).  
> Thanks for all the encouraging comments, and kudos <3 It makes me unbelievably happy.


	7. Taking it Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Magnus and Alec make some decisions, regarding their relationship._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this chapter happened a lot faster than I thought it would (it's also kind of shorter- sorry about that).  
> Mild sexual content ahead- avert your eyes, kiddies!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Relax (Take it Easy)' by Mika_

Although Magnus couldn't cook lamb to save his life, he made a mean Alfredo. Alec knew that if he died right then, in the middle of eating the pasta dish his boyfriend had so lovingly prepared, he'd die a happy man. And he voiced this, too- at least three times.

“Well I'm glad you like it, darling.” Magnus said, as Alec scraped up the last of the fettuccine with a fork. “I've never met anyone who appreciates my culinary skills as much as you do.”

Alec made a noise in the back of his throat, something akin to a groan. “That was, like, pasta heaven. I just died, and went to pasta heaven.” he said, with as serious an expression as he could muster. One glance at Magnus, however, and he dissolved into a laugh.

“Interesting analogy.” The corners of Magnus's mouth quirked, like he was suppressing his own amusement.

“I'm a dork.” Alec smothered his laugh by draining his cocktail- a light blue concoction he was beginning to regret, as it was clearly stronger than he was used to.

“Mm,” Magnus hummed in agreement. “But a cute dork. _My_ cute dork.”

“Dork.”Alec repeated, catching his lower lip between his teeth. “We keep saying that. We should stop saying it.”

“Alright.” Magnus breathed, the sweetness of it washing over Alec's face- he wasn't sure when, but Magnus had closed the distance between them, and Alec was pinned against the arm of the couch. A soft giggle bubbled from Alec's chest as Magnus trailed kisses along his chin.

“What's so funny?” Magnus grinned, bumping his nose against the teen's.

“I'd really like to kiss you now.” Alec said, simply. Straightforward as ever. “So.”

Magnus brought his mouth to his, and Alec melted into it- the familiar warmth of it, the press of Magnus's soft lips something Alec often found himself _craving_. And then Magnus's tongue was there, swiping across the seam of Alec's mouth, and he parted his lips because it was routine now ( _routine_ was a boring word. Making out was far from boring. This was _instinct_ ) and he was tasting Magnus; everything was heat, and twisting tongues, and the soft noises they made and hands gripping at shirts, sliding underneath-

Alec broke the contact with a quiet gasp for air.

“Sex.” he murmured, liquid courage burning through his veins. “Do you...um.”

He sobered in an instant- Magnus's eyebrows had drawn together in a frown, and Alec could feel him pulling away. The persistent knot was back in Alec's stomach. _Oh no. No._ He'd done something wrong.

“Magnus-”

“Is that what you think I want?” Magnus's voice was soft- not accusing. More concerned, than anything else. “Alexander. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything too soon.”

Alec scrambled upwards, narrowly avoided bumping foreheads with his puzzled boyfriend. “It's been two months.” he said, echoing Magnus's words from earlier that day. “I thought...”

“There's no _deadline_ for this kind of thing, sweetness.” Magnus leaned back and ran his thumb along Alec's collarbone, his touch light and affectionate. “We're taking things slow- it's good, I'm patient.”

“Okay, but...” Alec cleared his throat. He hadn't thought this was how the conversation would go- although, it wasn't going too badly, all things considered. “What if...I wanted to take things a little further?”

“Alec, are you saying all this because you're drunk, or because you really want it?”

“I want it.” It felt good to get it off his chest. “God, I want it.”

“I never thought my Alfredo would get a man into my bed- but here we are.” Magnus kept his tone breezy. “There's a first time for everything.”

Alec swatted his arm. “Be serious.”

“Alright, in all _seriousness_ ,” Magnus lowered his voice, and ducked his head to kiss at Alec's neck, “you're a virgin. Aren't you?”

“Yeah...yes.”

“Then we're still going to take things slow.”

Alec made a frustrated noise, throwing his head back against the couch. “ _Magnus_.”

“When I say 'slow'...” Magnus lifted his head and looked right into Alec's eyes. Green met blue, unwavering. “I don't think you quite understand, darling. You've still a lot to experience, and I'll be damned if you don't get to experience it all before we get to the…what shall we call it? Main event.”

Alec swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly. “Like what?”

“How about we go to the bedroom, and you can find out?”

* * *

 

Never in a million years, did Alec think he'd wind up with a person like Magnus. If someone had told him that his first year of college would involve an unbelievably sexy man helping him discover his sexuality, he would have laughed outright. He'd always thought college would entail studying, working, exams, headaches, stress- just that, nothing else. A boring experience to measure up to how average his life had been thus far.

So, as he was pressed into canary yellow sheets by someone that was _so far from boring_ , a person that was exhilarating beyond his wildest imaginings, he felt like he was dreaming. This couldn't have been his life. _Th_ _is_ couldn't have been the life of pre-med student Alexander Lightwood. But then Magnus was kissing that tender spot on his neck and college was _far_ from his mind.

It wasn't like they hadn't made out before. Alec had his fair share of hickeys and he was all too familiar with how Magnus tasted; but they'd never done it in Magnus's _bed._ Magnus's body was pressed into his and Alec felt like he was absorbing his warmth. He focused on every line of Magnus's body, lean muscles under thin material, the way he fit perfectly to Alec's own form, and there was the bite of the cold silk against Alec's skin- all this did nothing to calm Alec's racing heart and the...problem, he had forming.

To hell with it- Alec arched himself upwards, heels digging into the bed as he pressed his clothed erection to Magnus's hip, searching for some kind of friction. Magnus's pulled his mouth away from Alec's neck, and Alec actually _whined_.

“Alec...” Alec could see Magnus grinning, even in the semi-darkness (they hadn't really bothered to put any lights on- besides, it created 'a nice mood', in Magnus's words).

“Can you blame me?” Alec huffed, cutting his glance to the side. The alcohol was really starting to wear off, and embarrassment was creeping in. “You're...well.”

“Sexy as hell? Absolutely magnificent? Utterly addictive?”

“All of the above, you self-assured bastard.” Alec murmured. “I don't know why I keep stroking your ego- _oh!_ ” Magnus had rolled his hips downward, creating that much-needed friction.

“My ego may be swollen, Blue Eyes, but it isn't the only thing that is.” How could Magnus's voice be so husky and sultry and- and it was driving Alec _crazy._ He rocked his hips up, desperate for his boyfriend to repeat the motion.

“You're so,” Alec chuckled breathlessly. “incredibly frustrating. Oh my god.”

“I know.” Magnus grinned again, before kissing Alec and finally- _finally_ \- giving him what he wanted. Their hips moved together, and to feel Magnus's erection actually moving against his- even if they were still clothed- was the single most erotic thing Alec had ever experienced. His body felt aflame, and he gripped Magnus's back, fingers clutching at his shirt- tugging, gripping. The movement, the _sensation_ _,_ Magnus kissing, biting, licking; it felt like he was everywhere, all at once. Alec's knees came up, gripping Magnus's hips- _what did they call this? Frotting? He honestly couldn't care to remember-_ keeping his boyfriend as close as possible. And then Alec was shuddering, his hips jerking upwards one last time, and he just about blacked out from the pleasure of it all (he was fairly sure he called Magnus's name, as he came- but who cared about the details, really).

Alec let his body collapse against the mattress, feeling sort of detached; his ears were ringing, his skin was warm, his legs were numb. He'd reached completion before, but, self-satisfaction was _nothing_ compared to what had just happened.

“I...” Alec's lips moved soundlessly for a minute, just searching for something to say. Magnus smiled and kissed at the corner of his mouth, murmuring something that sounded an awful lot like 'you're welcome'. Alec's eyelids were starting to feel a lot heavier than they should have.

“Well, shit,” he said around a yawn. “I don't want to...fall asleep, on another date.”

“After this kind of thing, Alec, I think it's allowed.” his boyfriend was telling him softly, as his eyes started to close. The blanket was pulled up to his chin, lips were pressed to his forehead- and he passed out, just like that.

* * *

 

However great the night before had been, Alec still felt grungy and gross when he woke up the next morning. He grimaced and kicked the blankets from his body; he should've showered before he'd fallen asleep, or changed his clothes at the very least. As he slid his body from the bed, he looked up to see Magnus emerging from the bathroom- looking fresh, sprightly, all-together _awake_ \- and suddenly, Alec felt ten times better. Magnus was already dressed (an ensemble Alec couldn't really begin to describe, but it definitely looked designer), but his hair was damp and loose, sticking to his cheekbones and neck in a rather attractive way.

“Good morning.” Magnus smiled and waltzed towards the bed, taking Alec's face between his smooth hands; Alec turned his face into Magnus's palm and kissed the skin there, inhaling.

“Soap.” Alec mumbled, more to himself than anything else.

“That _is_ what one tends to smell like after a shower, yes.” Magnus said.

“A shower.” Alec made a longing sort of noise and rose from the bed, Magnus's hands slipping from his face. “That sounds so good, right now.”

“Take all the time you need.” Magnus said, and Alec escaped into the bathroom- far too eager to wait. He stripped out of his clothes- he hated the feeling of day-old clothing- and paused in front of the mirror. He didn't _look_ any different. The same old Alec stared back at him: messy-haired, wide blue eyes, in need of a shave- but, he definitely _felt different._ And it was great. Mildly frightening, but so great. He'd finally found what made him feel good; what he'd never cringe away from, not ever.

As the hot water rained down on his back, and made him think of Magnus's touch, he wondered how much better it could possibly get from here.

* * *

 

“So, I was thinking,” Magnus was saying, as Alec devoured a stack of pancakes that were practically drowning in syrup, “I was thinking.” he repeated. Alec lifted his head, an eyebrow raised.

“I should hope so.” he joked.

“Well, I was thinking that I want you to have something.” Magnus said, scratching at the back of his neck. Alec straightened in his seat; Magnus only fidgeted like that when he was nervous, which was _hardly ever._ Nervous was Alec's department.

“What could be better than last night?” Alec attempted a flirty grin, but it came out looking a lot more awkward than he'd intended.

“Hold on.” Magnus said, darting from the kitchen. Alec dug his fork into his pancakes and glanced up at Chairman Meow, who was perching rather precariously on the marble counter-top.

“What's gotten into him?” he asked, and paused. He wasn't sure when he'd taken to talking to Magnus's _cat._ The Chairman gave him a bored look and hopped down onto the tiled floor, as graceful as his master, and twice as cocky. He wasn't sure how that was possible for a feline, but _still._

“Alright, fine. Be that way.” Alec sighed. Magnus returned to the kitchen then, something that Alec couldn't see gripped in his left hand.

“Here.” he said, placing the mystery object next to Alec's plate. It was something small, and metallic, and it made a small noise as it settled onto the counter.

“A key?” Alec asked.

“Your own key,” Magnus explained. “for the apartment. This apartment.”

Alec's mind reeled; it was all he could do to stare at the key and wonder what this meant for their relationship. Well it was a _good thing-_ a very good thing. It was Magnus's way of saying he was welcome whenever, and it also made things so official. And official was what Alec needed- right? But there was so much more on his mind. Did he need to give Magnus something, in return? What was he supposed to do? And the key came with an unspoken responsibility too, didn't it? Although-

“Alec.” Magnus tapped his shoulder. Alec's head jerked up, he closed his slack mouth. “Say something, Alexander.”

“I...thank you, Magnus.” he managed.

“You don't have to take it. I just thought…” Magnus was reaching for the key. Alec caught at his wrist.

“Thank you, Magnus.” he reiterated, firm this time. He leaned up and placed a kiss against his boyfriend's lips; Magnus tasted like cinnamon _again_ , and it was so terribly addictive.

“This means a lot.” Alec said.

“You'd better look after that key.” Magnus's tone was light once more- amused. “It's my only spare.”

“Oh, I'll guard it with my life.” Alec said seriously, kissing the taller man again. Magnus smiled against Alec's mouth and pressed him into the counter, his hands sliding into the bathrobe he'd (more than willingly) lent to Alec.

It dawned on Alec, then, that he'd just found himself in the most official relationship of his- relatively short- lifetime. And it made him happy- giddy, even (it was hard not to feel giddy when Magnus's hands were trailing along your bare torso). As he curled his fingers around the key, and the metal bit into his palm, he came to a decision.

He was going to tell his parents about Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness xD I tried.  
> Love all my lovely readers!


	8. Ironic Pamphlets, the Meeting, and a Phonecall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _How does one come out to their parents?_   
>  _(or, the chapter where Alec has a lot of...thoughts)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh I just get too excited and these chapters happen too fast.  
> So here you go!  
> I really really appreciate all the positive response this is getting- all these lovely comments make me unbelievably happy, like, you have no idea.  
> This chapter was a little bit of a challenge. I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Thiskidsnotalright' by Awolnation_

The college had extensive grounds, and the lawns were a nice spot to relax on warm days (or the perfect spot if you were a group of stoners intent on being cliché). The grass wasn't exactly Alec's favorite place to be, but Simon had asked if they could meet up on the lawn outside of the Economics building, so there he was (desperately trying to ignore the fact that the grass under his palms was itching to high hell).

“Do you think Izzy will like this?” Simon was strumming an idle tune on his acoustic guitar, which was nestled in his lap.

“The song? Sure.” Alec said. “She likes anything you play, honestly.”

Simon's ears went red. He adjusted his glasses with an awkward laugh. “I wrote this for her.”

“ _Really?_ ” Alec's eyebrows shot up. “You...you really like her, don't you?” Sometimes, Alec wished he had the talent to do something like that; to express his fondness for Magnus through song, or something equally romantic. Magnus was the kind of man who deserved it. Unfortunately, Alec couldn't really think of a way to express his feelings for his boyfriend through a bow and arrow.

“Izzy's great.” Simon fidgeted with his guitar, tuning one of the strings. “Like, I could be in love with her. But _don't_ tell her that.”

 _In love._ Those were words Alec needed to think over very seriously- but, he decided, it could wait until a later date.

“Just don't propose or do anything ridiculous, I beg you.” Alec said, and Simon laughed dryly, setting his instrument aside.

“Since we're bringing up relationships, how are things with you and Magnus?”

“Great.” Alec picked at a hole in the knee of his jeans. “Well, I mean, I'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my parents about him. But other than that, it's great.”

“How about: 'hey, mom and dad. I'm gay. Deal with it'?” Simon shrugged. His words made Alec roll his eyes. He yanked a tuft of grass out of the ground and twisted it between his fingers.

“You'd think it was that simple, but it really isn't.” he said flatly.

“Aren't there pamphlets for this kind of thing?” Simon said. “We can go to the clinic on campus, check it out. They should be right next to the leaflets for, like, teenage pregnancy.”

“Ironically.”

“Yes, well, my ironic implication _was_ clear.”

“I don't know,” Alec pulled the grass between his fingers into smaller chunks. “those things aren't personal enough. I need to figure this out for myself.”

“It should come naturally, right? What are you afraid of?”

“Rejection, obviously.” And Alec's heart was in his throat again, and the constant fear that had been nagging him for _weeks_ went back to churning his stomach. “A lot of parents don't approve of this kind of thing. I have _no idea_ how mine will react.”

“You don't think, you know...they might already have a feeling?” Simon asked.

“I doubt it. _I_ only just figured out my sexuality, myself.”

“Well, I'm sure it'll be okay.” Simon assured him. “Your mom is a nice lady, and your dad...” he hesitated. “your dad is...your dad.”

Alec felt himself smirking, despite it all. “He scares you, doesn't he?”

“Alec, he puts the fear of God in me.” Simon grimaced. “It's like he thinks I'm going to corrupt Iz or...I don't know. Lure Max into a van.”

“Don't take it personally. Just because he calls you 'that deadbeat musician' doesn't mean he _hates_ you.”

“Oh god, is _that_ what he calls me?”

“No.” Alec snorted. “I'm messing with you.”

“Not funny. It's bad enough that Jace gives me a hard time- I don't need you ganging up on me, too.” Simon sighed. “Dating your sister is like Mission Impossible.” he added, under his breath.

“Jace is just jealous of you- you know, because of Clary.” Alec said.

“Clary?” Simon echoed. “As in, my best friend?”  
“Yes- she likes you well enough, but she doesn't like Jace.” Alec explained. “And my brother doesn't understand that, because he thinks he's a stud.”

“Actually, Clary practically drools over him. When he's not around, of course.”

Alec blinked- this was news to him. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Don't say anything, though.” Simon slid a hand over his mouth, as if trying to wipe away his amused grin. “Izzy and I have a bet going: how long it'll take for the two of them to realise they should actually be together.”

“Do you have any bets on Magnus and I?”

“If we did, I wouldn't just _tell you,_ would I?”

* * *

 

Lightwood family meetings: a tradition ever since Alec could remember. The earliest meeting he had memory of was when he'd been no older than five years old, and his parents had informed them they'd be moving to New York (Izzy, being only three at the time, had no recollection of this one). Another meeting had been when Alec was ten, and he and Isabelle were told Maryse and Robert were adopting another child- a boy that was just one year younger than Alec- into the family. The blonde boy with the sad gold eyes had shown up a week later. There'd been a meeting for when Maryse was pregnant with Max, as well, round about two years before Jace was adopted, and then there'd been less serious meetings (such as the one where nine year old Izzy had complained about having too many brothers).

Rarely did it occur that Alec insisted on these gatherings, so his parents were more than a little concerned when he called for a 'family meeting' one late Friday afternoon.

“Alec, is everything alright?” Maryse asked, as she settled herself on the cream-colored chaise. Max was seated on the other end of the lounger, head bent over a rather thick book.

“Yes.” Alec said, gnawing at his chapped lip. “I'll tell you the rest when dad's here.” he was leaning against one of the walls in the living room, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible (it wasn't working).

“Sit _down_ , big brother.” Isabelle tugged at his arm, pulling him away from the wall and onto one of the dark leather couches. She sat beside him and squeezed his forearm; she knew the reasons behind Alec's sudden desire for a family meeting. As did Jace.

“Did I miss anything?” Robert Lightwood came into the room, loosening his work-tie. “Sorry I'm late, by the way. I actually have to get back to the office straight after this, so-”

“This won't take long, dad.” Alec said. His father took a seat next to Maryse, looking to his oldest son expectantly. Alec froze; the speech he'd spent hours preparing in front of the mirror had just flown from his mind.

“Tell them, Alec.” Jace urged, in an undertone. Isabelle squeezed Alec's arm again- and, suddenly, things didn't seem so bad. His heart rose in his chest; his siblings were supportive of this, and happy for him. As long as he had that, things could never get too bad. Right?

“Mom, dad,” he started, plotting his words carefully. “I'm seeing someone.” he had to swallow down an acidic taste in his throat.

Okay, he was still afraid- terribly so. He wished more than anything there was a way to get rid of the ridiculous pounding in his ears and the way his gut twisted sharply.

“That's lovely, Alec.” Maryse sounded unsure. “But why'd you need a meeting to tell us this?”

“Because...well.” he exhaled. “The person is, um. The person I'm seeing is Magnus.”

Time seemed to come to a standstill. His parents' expressions were blank, at first. Izzy's grip on his arm got tighter. Alec couldn't breathe; he pressed his lips together and prayed to any god that was listening that his parents would take the news well (or refrain from kicking him out of the house, at least).

“Your friend, Magnus?” Maryse asked, after what felt like millennia. “He's your...boyfriend?”

“Yes.” Alec's fingers dug into his knees.

“Oh. I like him.” Maryse nodded, then looked to her husband. “Robert?” Was that really all his mother had to say? She was still so calm, as if Alec had simply brought up the weather. Surely, it wasn't going to be so simple- no god was going to be _that_ generous towards Alec.

“What made you decide to be gay, Alec?” his father asked, and the world skidded to a halt. Alec's mouth fell open- he had nothing to say to this. There was a dull ringing in his ears as he struggled for the words that wouldn't come.

Luckily, he didn't _have_ to say anything.

“It's not a _decision._ ” it was Jace who spoke up first, his voice raising defensively. “It's just who Alec is.”

“How could you ask something like that, dad?” Isabelle accused. “What made you decide to be _straight_ , huh?”

“I'm sorry, I was just...curious?” Robert's eyes were wide. “I didn't realize how offensive that might seem. Alec,” he spoke to Alec directly, snapping him out of his daze. “I'm sorry. I don't mind...I don't care who you date, okay? As long as you're happy.”

Alec exhaled slowly. “Okay.” And it was. It was okay. No one was more surprised about this than Alec.

“Is that all, honey?” Maryse asked, dark eyebrows knitted together in concern. “You didn't need to be so worried about _that._ ”

“We thought you were going to tell us you were failing one of your classes. Something along those lines.” Robert said.

Alec's laugh was light, nervous. “I'm still passing.”

“Great. Well,” Robert got to his feet, kissing his wife's cheek along the way. “I'm off to work. See you kids later.”

He left, and Maryse excused herself a minute later, saying something about a phonecall she had to make. Alec was left with his three siblings, sitting in stunned silence.

It was over.

“That went well, right?” Max piped up, glancing at them over his book. “I didn't really listen to a lot of it.”

“I can't actually believe they're okay with it.” Alec said. “I mean, I'm _so_ relieved, but...”

“You expected the worst?” Jace supplied.

“Yeah.”

“You did it.” Izzy rested her head on Alec's shoulder, nuzzling it against him. “You should call Magnus and tell him.”

“I should.” Alec murmured, still in a bit of a stupor.

“Do I need to press the buttons for you, or something?” Jace raised an eyebrow. “Go call him.”

Alec rose from his seat, hand already fumbling in his jacket pocket, fingers searching for his cellphone. “What do you think I should say-”

“ _Go_.” Jace insisted.

It took less than a minute to dial Magnus's number and have his voice in Alec's ear, smooth and familiar. Alec's heart felt like a hummingbird as Magnus picked up on the third ring, and breathed out a 'hello'.

“Magnus, I did it.” he told his boyfriend without any preamble. He was jogging up the stairs and his voice came out a little jolted, as a result.

“Did what, babe?”

“I told my parents.”

He heard Magnus's breath hitch over the line. “About us?”

“No, the hooker in the rainforest thing.” Alec indulged in an eye-roll. Magnus laughed appreciatively- but the laugh was also breathy, as if he was immensely relieved.

“Yeah, about us.” Alec said, walking into his bedroom and throwing himself onto the bed. “And they actually took it well.”

“I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you, Alexander.”

“Maybe I can come over,” Alec started, unsure, and bit at his thumb. “and...you can _show_ me how happy you are?” He wasn't sure where that had come from, but he wasn't about to take it back. Nowadays, he found it increasingly easier to talk to Magnus this way- to flirt, to tease. It was becoming natural and...fun, in its own way.

“As much as I'd love that, darling, I'm afraid I wouldn't be the best company.” Magnus's sigh was so heavy, Alec swore he heard the connection crackle. “I have a huge semester test coming up, so. You know what that's like.”

“Oh.” Alec smoothed his hand over the black sheets, tried not to sound too disappointed. “Next time, then.”

“But I do have a bit of time to talk to you now.” Magnus's voice crooned in his ear, and for a second, Alec closed his eyes and imagined Magnus was actually there, lying with him. Within minutes, Alec's mind had raced back to the last time he'd been in a bed with Magnus, and his boyfriend had murmured things in his ear as they moved together- he cut his thoughts short and shifted uncomfortably. The front of his pants was starting to tent.

“Alexander?” Magnus's voice was there, again, and doing nothing to help Alec's problem. “Are you listening?”

“I...” With a twinge of guilt, Alec realised his boyfriend had been talking- and Alec hadn't been paying attention. “No, I'm sorry. I, uh, got a little lost in my thoughts.”

“Honestly, what am I going to do with you?” Magnus chuckled quietly. “I was saying that I want you to meet my friends sometime.”

“Your friends?” Alec rolled onto his stomach- and winced as his groin pressed into the mattress.

“Mm. Catarina. Ragnor. Raphael.” Magnus listed the names, and Alec could almost see him count them off on his jewelled fingers. “They're _dying_ to meet you.”

“Three friends, huh?” Alec's chuckle was strained. “I thought you'd be a lot more popular.”

“Oh, of course I'm popular. But only the best of the best are allowed the title of 'friend' when it comes to my magnificent self.”

“I really hope you're joking.”  
“Partly.” Magnus said. “So, you're willing to meet them?”

“Sure.” Alec agreed, but his mind was on other matters. He was itching to take a cold shower. “I'll text you. You need to study hard, okay?”

“I'll keep that in mind. We'll chat later, Alexander.” Magnus paused. “I'm proud of you, by the way.”

“Magnus...” Alec's cheeks flushed; he couldn't think of anything to say. “I...b-bye.”

He flung his cellphone aside and buried his face into the pillows, muffling his groan.

* * *

 Alec was sent a picture mere seconds after the call (it was a photo of Magnus's bare torso; the ridiculously sexy man was holding his shirt up with his teeth, the material pinched between his cocky grin), and he was ashamed to say he needed to throw his sheets in the washer not long after that.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, okay. There we go.  
> Robert's reaction is kinda based on the kind of thing my own dad would say. Also, I wanted to write a bit of Izzy and Jace sticking up for Alec ('Protect Alec at all costs' squad for the win!).  
> A bit anti-climatic? Maybe. But at least I ended it with a _climax_ of a different kind (badum tss!)  
>  I'm so lame.


	9. Envy and Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The past comes up, and Alec discovers he's the 'jealous boyfriend' type._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It's the first tiny bump in the Malec road, but it's smoothed over pretty quickly.  
> Thanks again to all my lovely readers- you're the ones that encourage me to keep writing this!  
> (Warning: sexual content at the end of this chapter.)
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Teardrop' by Massive Attack (I've been dying to use this song somewhere)_

The prospect of meeting Magnus's friends was sufficiently terrifying. It kept Alec up that night- he tossed and turned and tried to get comfortable and to ignore all the thoughts in his head, until eventually he gave up. He kicked his blankets back, grabbed a pillow, and made his way downstairs. He headed for the lounge. If he couldn't sleep, he may as well catch up on _Teen Wolf_ (his very guilty- very secret- pleasure). Unfortunately, someone had gotten to the TV before him.

Max was on the couch, bundled in a cocoon of blankets. The glow of the television was the only source of light in the room, and the bluish illumination made the boy look even paler than usual. Alec approached the couch soundlessly, startling his younger brother as he took a seat next to him.

“Why are you still up?” he asked, and Max tucked his chin against his chest, looking guilty.

“I'm trying to watch this whole season in one go.” Max mumbled. Alec glanced at the TV screen; it was an animation of sorts, and it had English subtitles. Alec realised it was one of those Japanese cartoons his brother liked.

“You're watching manga?”

“ _Anime,_ Alec.” Max huffed. “It's called anime.”

“Alright, sorry.” Alec chuckled, leaning back into the couch. He tucked his pillow between his knees and let his eyes run over the words on the screen. “What's this one called?”

“'Noragami'.” Max said.

“That can't be a real word.” Alec blinked. “You made that up, right?”

“It's Japanese. I don't know what it means, but it's a real word.” Max yawned widely. He shifted closer to Alec, so he could rest his head against his big brother's arm. “The main character kinda looks like you.”

“He has cat eyes. And he's animated. He looks nothing like me.” Alec complained.

“Well, _I_ think he does.” Max took his glasses off so he could rub his eyes. “Why are _you_ up?”

“I was just thinking too much about some stuff.” Max glanced up at him, questioning. Alec shook his head dismissively. “Boring stuff, don't worry.”

“Is it Magnus stuff?”

Alec paused. “Yeah. How'd you know?”

“Because he's _always_ on your mind nowadays.” Max turned his gaze back to the television. “But that's good, because that makes you happy.”

“Personally, I think it makes me a nervous wreck, ninety percent of the time.” Alec said.

“Why?”

“It's the first time I've had a boyfriend, Max. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.” he realised he probably didn't need to be unloading this on a ten year old- he sighed. “But don't worry about it, buddy.”

“He still makes you happy, even when you're nervous.” Max said firmly. “And I like Magnus. I don't think he minds that you don't know what you're doing.”

Alec was yet again astounded by how mature his little brother could be; for a young boy, he had emotional knowledge beyond his years. Alec wondered how that was possible, when Max had older siblings that still acted like twelve year olds (namely, Jace).

“So what's this guy's deal with coins?” Alec asked, gesturing to the TV. He cocked his head to the side. “What _is_ the premise of this show, exactly?” he couldn't make sense of anything happening onscreen.

But Max didn't answer, as he'd just passed out, clutching Alec's soft sweater sleeve. Alec smiled fondly and took Max's glasses off of his face, folding them up and setting them aside. He adjusted Max's blankets. Once he was sure his little brother was comfortable, he reached for the TV remote.

He spent the rest of the night watching teenage wolves that were far too angsty and handsome for their own good, and all thoughts of Magnus's friends were far from his mind.

* * *

 

The next time Alec let himself into Magnus's apartment, he almost had a heart attack. The first thing he saw was a young woman with unnaturally white blonde hair, curled up in the green armchair with a book- she seemed so comfortable, as if she was just meant to be there. Alec, frozen on the threshold, cleared his throat.

The woman looked up and smiled, as if she'd been expecting him. “Oh, hey! You must be Alec.”

“Yeah,” Alec's eyes narrowed. “Um. Who are you?”

“Catarina.” she got to her feet, smoothed out her sky-blue shirt. “Magnus told you about me, I'm sure.”

“ _Oh._ ” the name definitely rang a bell. “Yeah. Hi. Nice to meet you.” Alec finally shut the front door behind him, ducking his head sheepishly. He hadn't expected to meet any of his boyfriend's friends so soon- he wasn't prepared for this, at all.

“Magnus tells me you're pre-med.” Catarina was saying.  
“Pre-med,” Alec echoed, nodding stupidly. “I- yeah, I am.” he remembered something, from the first time he and Magnus met, in the library. “Are you a medical student?”

“Nursing, actually.”

“Could this conversation _be_ any more boring?” Magnus was there, having emerged from the kitchen, and Alec felt like he could breathe again. “Small talk, Catarina? I expected more from you.” he shook his head at his friend, who rolled her eyes.  
“I didn't want to overwhelm the poor boy right away.” she said. “He looked so surprised to see me.”

Magnus sauntered over to Alec and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Putting your key to good use, I see.” he murmured.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Alec said, with an embarrassed sort of smile. “I didn't realise you'd have company.”

“Catarina came over because she decided she wanted to dye my hair.”

Alec inspected his boyfriend's hair; it was all the same, except for a single thick, blue streak.

“I chose the color, too.” Catarina said.

“I like it.” Alec grinned.

“Well, blue _is_ the loveliest color.” Magnus gazed into Alec's eyes meaningfully as he said this. A warm flush crept up Alec's neck.

“Magnus...” Alec glanced at Catarina; she was smirking. “I've never seen you this soppy.”

It was Magnus's turn to be flustered (for once), “I don't know what you're talking about-”  
“Oh, shush. You're making an honest man out of this one, Alec.” she winked at him. “Keep it up.”

“Uh. I will?” Alec wasn't quite sure what to say.  
“I think we all need a drink, or two.” Magnus looked up at the ornate clock on the wall. “It's only four o' clock- but, it's night-time somewhere. So.” he paused, halfway out of the room. “Maybe I should call up Ragnor and Raphael.”

Catarina shook her blonde head. “Don't. They've had a full day of work and they're bound to be in terrible moods,” she looked to Alec. “and they're difficult enough in a _good_ mood.”

Alec felt he could kiss her. He really wasn't up for meeting three new people, in one day.

“Fair point. And, Alec darling, I bought more of that wine you like.” Magnus disappeared into the kitchen again, and Catarina rose an eyebrow at Alec.

“Aren't you too young to be drinking?” she said.

“Yeah, but, I only drink when I'm with Magnus,” he replied cautiously. “so it's okay.”

“I suppose.” Catarina sat down again, gesturing for Alec to take a seat, as well. The dark green material of the armchair accented her brown skin. "Don't look too worried- I was only curious. I'm not _judging_ you or anything.”  
Alec had learnt that when someone said they 'weren't judging', they actually _were_ being judgemental, to an extent. But Catarina didn't seem like that kind of person- she seemed rather sincere. He sank down onto the plum couch, relaxing into the familiar material. He fidgeted with a loose thread on his sweater sleeve; now that he was alone with Catarina again, he wasn't sure how to make conversation. He wasn't going to risk small talk- that would make him seem boring, and he needed Magnus's friends to like him, to approve of him. It felt terribly important to Alec, and the weight of it was pressing down on him and apparently inhibiting him from coming up with any decent conversation.

“So,” he said, like he was testing out the word. “What do you think of...” he furrowed his eyebrows, at a loss. What was he going to ask?

“Of?” Catarina prompted. When Alec stared at her helplessly, she continued. “Politics? Dolphins? Pretty boys on television?”

The last one sparked Alec's brain into gear. “Teen Wolf?”

“Oh, _yes_ ,” Catarina grinned. “I love that show. Do you watch it, too?”

“Me? No.” he stammered, but his blush betrayed everything. “Okay, maybe. Don't tell Magnus.”

She leaned across the arm of her chair and said confidentially, “Between you and me, Magnus has his fair share of guilty pleasures, too. Ask him what he thinks of Marvel.”

Alec's eyebrows shot up. “As in the comics?”

“He's got a thing for Spiderman or something- I'm not sure.” she winked, tapping her lips with an index finger. “I told you nothing.”

“Sure.” Alec chuckled, feeling a million times better than he had a minute before- it wasn't that difficult to get along with Catarina, it seemed.

“So do you like _Teen Wolf_ for the boys, or the storyline?” she asked.

“A little bit of both?” Alec shifted. “Okay, maybe mostly for the boys.”

“Honey, if you feel the need to discuss your fictional crushes, I'm all ears.” Catarina propped her chin onto her hand, smiling at Alec encouragingly. He considered it; he'd only just discovered his attraction towards the same sex, and he was dying to discuss it with someone that wasn't his own sister (it got a little weird, talking about that kind of thing with Izzy). So, why not discuss it with Catarina- someone who'd just openly encouraged him to do so?

“Okay, well, don't even get me _started_ on Derek's eyebrows...”

* * *

 

“I'm giving you fair warning, Magnus,” Catarina said around a cracker smeared with cranberry cheese, “if you don't keep a tight grip on this boyfriend of yours, I might just steal him from you.”

Alec laughed. Hours had passed and the living room was dim, now; the three of them had gone through two bottles of wine, and were almost finished with a large platter of assorted biscuits and cheeses. Alec had never done something like this before- he supposed it was more of a mature, 'adult' kind of get-together- but he found it rather relaxing, and enjoyable.

“You can't have him.” Magnus drummed his fingers against Alec's thigh, an idle movement. “Sorry, dear.”  
“But he's too adorable. And he's made such a softy out of you!” Catarina set her empty wine glass down, her cheeks flushed. “You were never like this with _Camille._ ” she said the name like it was a filthy word. Alec sat up straighter.

“Who?” he asked.

“Magnus's ex,” Catarina said. “Man, she was a _bitch._ Is there more wine?” she asked, and got to her feet (more steadily than Alec thought she'd be capable of). She ventured into the kitchen, leaving the couple alone.

“I didn't realise you dated girls, too.” Alec tried to keep his tone light, but his heart was in his throat. What if Magnus liked the fairer sex more than he liked men? What if he met a more attractive woman, and decided Alec wasn't good enough anymore? What if he went back to this Camille person?  
Alec's mind had a horrible habit of jumping to the worst conclusions.

“Mm,” Magnus shrugged, twisting one of his rings thoughtfully. “It never came up.”

“Oh.” Alec nodded stiffly.

“Alexander, what on earth is going through your mind?” Magnus sighed and moved forward, running his fingers through Alec's hair. He tugged gently at a knot, one that Alec hadn't even realised was there.

“Camille is the past- I really don't care for her anymore.” Magnus told him. “ _You're_ my boyfriend now, and you don't have to worry about my sexual preferences- because, right now _you're_ my sexual preference.” he kissed the spot under Alec's ear. “Life's too short to dwell on the past, anyway.”

Catarina twirled into the room, a bottle of white wine in her hands. She started to pour the wine out into their empty glasses, spilling some of the alcohol onto the table.

“Tell me more about Camille, Catarina.” Alec said. Magnus made a frustrated noise and rolled his eyes; Alec couldn't really bring himself to care. He was too curious to hear about this ex-girlfriend, and, if Magnus wasn't going to say anything, he'd get the information elsewhere.

“Uh, let's see.” Catarina set the bottle down, looking thoughtful. “Blonde, voluptuous, and a cold-hearted, back-stabbing, two-faced bitch. No, wait,” she held up a finger. “not cold-hearted. _Heartless_ is a better adjective.”

“Why'd you date someone so horrible?” Alec turned to his boyfriend, who looked weary.

“We all make mistakes, Alec.”

“He dated her for her looks, at first.” Catarina explained. “Not one of his finest hours.”

“I thought she was a different person. She seemed nice enough- but she's deceptive.” Magnus said. “We live, we learn.”

“How did the relationship...work out?”

“Well,” Catarina started, sipping at her wine. “It was mostly very sexual-”

“Catarina, isn't it time for you to go home?” Magnus ran his hands over his face. “Ragnor will be worried.”

“Oh, he doesn't mind-”

“Come. I'll call you a cab.”

* * *

 

Magnus closed the front door behind Catarina. Alec was still on the couch- arms crossed, lips pressed into a thin line. He was trying to pretend he was fine, that everything was okay; but too many horrible thoughts were sitting on his chest, suffocating him.

“Alexander,” Magnus's voice was as soft as the moonlight filtering through the curtains. “don't let this bother you.”

“It's not.”

“You're not jealous, are you?” Magnus leaned over the back of the couch, sliding his hands down Alec's chest and pressing a kiss into Alec's hair. “You shouldn't be. Not of _her_.”

“I'm not jealous of Camille. I haven't even met her, so, that'd be ridiculous.” Even Alec doubted his own words.

“Alec, I can read you like a book.”

“Forget about it, okay?” he craned his neck backwards, peering up into Magnus's face. “I'm fine.”

He wasn't, not really, but he hated talking about his feelings. Especially when his feelings were so irrational. He reached up and pulled Magnus into a deep kiss- an apology, of sorts.

Magnus made an appreciative noise, climbing over the couch for easier access to his boyfriend's body. He slid his hands under Alec's shirt, running his smooth palms along the sensitive skin. Desire flared up in Alec in an instant; a fiery warmth in the pit of his abdomen.

Magnus moved his mouth to Alec's ear, “I'd like to try something.” he murmured, and Alec felt himself nod. Whatever Magnus wanted to do, he was sure he was okay with. His boyfriend's hand trailed downwards, past his navel, caressing the line between his hip and his... _oh._

Magnus's hand slipped under the waistband of Alec's pants, and he skimmed his fingers over the bulge in Alec's underwear.

“This good?” he asked.

Alec swallowed, licked at his lips. “M-more.” he voiced what he wanted, the words trembling ever so slightly. Magnus kissed Alec's chin with a delighted purring noise, and suddenly his hand was past that last barrier of material and there was a warmth around Alec's length that made him suck in his breath. His hand twitched upwards involuntarily, burying itself in Magnus's hair.

Magnus's hand felt _so right_ ; he pleasured Alec with slow, confident strokes. His fingers were soft and long and perfect and so warm- Alec bucked into his hand, a whimper escaping his lips.

“You like that?” Magnus kissed at his ear again, his grip on Alec tightening a fraction.

“ _Magnus,”_ Alec said in a breathy moan, incapable of much else. Magnus sped up his hand and nipped at Alec's ear, and Alec swore he saw stars.

“Ah,” his hips jerked again, as Magnus ran his nails along the underside of his erection- and it was _just too much._ “I-I'm close.”

Magnus hummed softly and kissed Alec's neck, almost like an encouragement. With one last twist of Magnus's hand, Alec came; his back arched, he pulled at Magnus's hair. He felt like a whimpering, shuddering mess.

“Feeling better?” Magnus's voice was husky, amused. Alec punched at his shoulder feebly, but his chest _did_ feel lighter. All worries had fled from his mind.

“We should do that again.” his boyfriend said softly, and Alec felt inclined to agree.

Next time, though, it would have to be Magnus's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camille could come up again, but I'm not about to spoil it for you guys. I'm avoiding angst, but all relationships have a bit of drama. That's what makes them stronger.  
> I might change the rating of this to 'Erotic' instead of 'Mature', at a stage. I don't know- what do you guys think?  
> Next chapter should be fluffffff though <3


	10. Don't Come Over, Please Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Magnus plays nurse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a bit of a fluffy filler (even though I brought up a few important details in this chapter) (couldn't resist) (ahem).  
> Enjoyyy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Breezeblocks' by alt-J_

Alec got home just before midnight, wondering how he'd actually summoned enough willpower to ever leave Magnus's apartment. He would've been more than content to spend the night at his boyfriend's place, but he knew that would lead to too many unwanted questions from his family (considering that the _whole family_ knew about his relationship now). He just hoped he wouldn't have to run into any of his parents- not when his clothes were this rumpled and his hair was so messy it was past the point of fixing.

On his way to his bedroom, treading down the hallway as quietly as he could manage, he found himself pausing outside of his sister's room; the lights were still on.

He knocked once before pushing the door open. What he saw was _far_ from what he'd been expecting.

His sister was sitting on the floor, painting her nails and mostly ignoring the movie playing on her laptop screen. Clary- of all people- was seated on the edge of the bed behind Izzy, explaining whatever was happening on-screen rather animatedly. She was braiding Isabelle's hair.

“You didn't tell me you were having a slumber party, Iz.” Alec spoke up, and both girls turned their heads in response.

“Hi, Alec.” Clary smiled.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing home, big brother?” Izzy blew at her nails, delicate eyebrows raised. “I thought you'd stay at-”  
“Magnus's place, yeah. Well. I need to sleep in my own bed _sometimes._ ”

Isabelle scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking up at Clary. “He makes it sound like he sleeps there all the time, when it's only been, like, five times.”

“You're counting now, Iz? That's kind of weird.” Alec said, ignoring how she stuck her tongue out at him. “Are Jace and Simon here?”

“No, it's just us girls tonight,” Isabelle said. “Well, we had to kick Jace out.”

At the mention of Jace, a light blush colored Clary's cheeks. Alec wondered if she was even aware of it.

“I'm going to make us more coffee.” she announced, and left the bedroom. Alec turned to his sister once the redhead was out of his line of sight.

“I didn't realise you guys were so close.” he said.  
“Well, we never were.” Isabelle explained. “She's Simon's best friend, and I know how important it is to him that Clary and I like each other. That's why I arranged this.”

Alec leaned against the door-frame. “I just kind of got this feeling that she never liked you.”

“She was fine with me, before, but it was a superficial kind of fine.” Izzy shrugged. “Now she's...”

“A 'let me braid your hair' kind of fine?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, Simon will be happy about that, I'm sure.” Alec started turning to leave.  
“Hang on, where are you going?” Isabelle's voice sang. Alec winced and stayed put. “You haven't told me how _your_ evening went.”

“It was...nice.” Alec wasn't about to tell his little sister the details.

“Clearly.” Isabelle smirked, and Alec ran his hands through his hair one more time, trying to tame it. “But tell me more.”  
“No, Izzy.” He didn't want to talk about how Magnus had touched him for the first time; he supposed he could tell her about meeting Catarina, or how he'd learned about Magnus's ex. As the thoughts of Camille resurfaced, however, he suddenly didn't want to talk about anything, anymore.

“I'll see you in the morning.” he left the room, ignoring Isabelle's protests- and just about collided with Clary, full-force.

“Oh, shoot.” Clary stumbled backwards, keeping a firm grip on two coffee mugs. “That could've been a disaster.” she exhaled a breathy, nervous laugh.

“Sorry about that.” he grimaced. “I-” a sudden, violent itch in his nose distracted him. He turned his face into the crook of his elbow, sneezing into his sweater. “Ugh.” he sniffed.

“Are you getting sick?” Clary sounded a little concerned. “Maybe you should take something, before it gets worse.”

“I'm fine.” he said dismissively. “I don't get sick.”

“So you're just allergic to me, then?” Clary joked.

“Maybe.” Alec smiled, fighting another sneeze. “Sleep well, Clary.”

“Okay, you too.”

He stumbled down the hall and into his bedroom, his head heavy and his nose stuffy. There must have been too much dust in the air, or something. He had a strong immune system; he never got ill.

* * *

  
How wrong he was.

Alec had never been more miserable in his life. It was a week away from exams, and his bad luck had cursed him with a common cold so bad he felt like his head was seconds from exploding.

He was stuck in bed, studying medicine while he was the most ill he'd ever been (the irony was not lost on him). He'd been sick for half a week, already, and he was desperate for it to end.

Alec sat up, body propped against his pillows, and gazed at his bed sullenly; the duvet was covered with textbooks, scattered notes, and tissues. He reached for his neuroscience book, fingers slipping over the glossy cover. Did he have any more energy to study? He decided the answer to that was a 'no', and pulled his knees to his chest to rest his forehead against them. He could've easily fallen asleep in this uncomfortable position, but his cellphone was buzzing insistently.

He threw a hand outwards, blindly grabbing at the bedside table until his hand found the device. He lifted the phone to his ear, accepting the call.  
“Hello?” His voice was scratchy, and hoarse- a result of his incredibly sore throat.

“So you _are_ alive.” It was Magnus. His tone was sarcastic, at first, but it wavered like he was surprised. “Although just barely, by the sounds of it.”

“Magnus. M'sorry.” Alec mumbled. He'd been avoiding Magnus for the week, as he didn't want to get his boyfriend sick, too. He probably should have texted him at least, but when one is in a perpetual fever-induced haze, one tends to forget to do the little things.

“Darling, what's the matter?”

“Nothing,” Alec said, before realising it was stupid to pretend that it was nothing. “Well, actually. I'm really sick.”

“ _Alexander._ Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't want to worry you.”

“Nonsense. If I'd known, I could've been your personal nurse a lot sooner.”

Alec's face got even warmer- which was incredibly uncomfortable, as his fever was already high enough. “I don't want to make you sick, Magnus.”

“I have an immune system of steel.” Magnus said. There was a sound like keys being used on Magnus's end of the line; he was obviously leaving his apartment.  
“I thought I did, too, and then this happened.” Alec combed his fingers through his hair, which was already sticking up in odd directions. “Don't- don't come over.”

“Too late, Alec.”

“ _No,_ get back in that apartment.” Alec tried to sound threatening, but with a stuffed nose he simply sounded ridiculous. “Magnus, I'm begging you, don't come over.”

“Nothing you say is going to dissuade me, Blue Eyes, so you might as well give up.”

“ _Magnus_.” Alec groaned, slumping back into the pillows (his hazy mind registered that he tended to say his boyfriend's name a lot- probably because he really, really liked it).  
“I'll see you soon.” his boyfriend's voice crooned before he hung up. Alec sighed and draped his arm over his face, blocking the light so it couldn't irritate his eyes (his sister had come in earlier and opened the curtains, despite his protests). He needed to shower before Magnus arrived, and change into something that wasn't his pyjamas, and brush his hair, and possibly clean his room.

He fell asleep, instead.

* * *

 

When he came around, he was lying on his stomach with his face buried in the pillows. He'd been drooling; he groaned and lifted his head, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and right cheek. He hated having to sleep with his mouth open.

“Oh, you're up.” a soft voice came from behind him. Alec flipped over onto his back to glare at the intruder- it was, of course, Magnus. His boyfriend was in the deep blue armchair in the corner of the room (a recent addition, which Magnus himself had picked out). He wiggled his sparkling fingers at Alec in a wave; the light from Alec's bedside lamp was reflecting off of the multiple rings adorning Magnus's fingers. Alec was in no mood to appreciate anything even remotely shiny (and everything about Magnus was _shiny_ ).

“Go away,” Alec pulled the sheets over his head. He didn't care if he was acting like a child. “I'm gross.”

“Oh, Alexander. Honestly.” he could _hear_ Magnus rolling his eyes.

“I don't want to make you sick.” Alec decided he liked it under his blankets- it was dark, and warm, and relatively quiet.

“Yes, you said that.” The blankets were pulled back, and it was light again. Magnus's face was hovering right over his. “I'm here to help you feel better, Alec. It's what boyfriends _do._ Now stop being difficult and let me pamper you.”

“ _Fine_. But only because you want to so badly.”

“Look at you, you've made yourself sick with stress.” Magnus stacked the textbooks on Alec's bed into a pile, to set them aside. “You need a break.”

“I just slept the whole afternoon- I should study.” Alec objected, before sneezing rather spectacularly. He grabbed for a tissue just in time.

“So not happening.” After moving Alec's mess of study materials from the bed, Magnus sat down across from him and pressed a light kiss to his forehead. “I brought this herbal tea that'll fix you right up. And I brought some things to distract you- we could start with a few movies?”

“Are they Marvel movies?” Alec attempted a smirk, but it came across as more of a tired, forced grin. The reaction in Magnus was more than Alec could've hoped for, though; he visibly stiffened.

“Catarina told you.” he said, and Alec dissolved into a hoarse laugh that deteriorated into a cough.

“So, maybe I'm a little too attracted to Captain America. And maybe I _have_ had a crush on SpiderMan since I was, like, twelve, and maybe I ship SpideyPool a little too much- Alexander, stop laughing.” Magnus chastised, but a smile was twitching at his lips.

“I do feel a little better now, thank you.” Alec grinned, coughing into his fist. “But I have no idea who _any_ of those characters are- not really. Whatever 'SpideyPool' is, I don't think I want to know.”

“I really need to educate you, then. But a Marvel marathon can wait another time.” Magnus tucked Alec's hair behind his ears, an affectionate gesture. “Tonight's all about you, so we can do whatever you want.”

Alec leaned into Magnus's touch, reflexively. “I want to shower.” Magnus's eyebrows shot up, so Alec swiftly added: “Alone.”

“You got me excited for a second, darling.”

“Again, I'm all gross. I'd _seriously_ like to shower.”

“Hey, I _am_ your personal nurse tonight,” Magnus grinned. “Maybe I can give you a sponge bath?” At Alec's withering stare, he laughed. “That's a no, then.”

“I'll be right back.” Alec pulled himself out of the bed, stretching his numb legs. “Don't go anywhere.”

“Oh, _now_ you want me here?”

“I- just shut up.”

* * *

 

Magnus's herbal tea was practically a form of torture.

“This is disgusting,” Alec gagged. “and that's saying something, because my tastebuds have gone through hell and back.”

“I don't think Isabelle appreciates you referring to her cooking as 'hell'.”

“I can't finish this.” Alec peered into his teacup with a grimace.

“Drink.” Magnus insisted, and Alec choked down the last of the greenish, burning fluid. “Good boy.”

“No more.” Alec wheezed, slamming the cup down.

“You'll be feeling better soon, I promise.” Magnus said. “My mom used to make me that tea when I was sick as a child. It worked wonders.”

Alec gazed at his boyfriend thoughtfully, shifting forward on the bed. “You haven't really told me anything about your parents.” He found himself wondering what Magnus's family was like, and if he'd ever meet them. He wondered if Magnus had siblings. He wondered if Magnus's family would like him.

Magnus's expression was instantly unreadable; he looked away from Alec, eyes searching for something. “You said you wanted to play Scrabble, right?”

Alec was disappointed, to say the least. The fact that his boyfriend sometimes struggled to open up to him was a constant worry. What was Magnus hiding? What didn't he want Alec to know? Did he not _trust_ Alec?

Alec wasn't about to pry and ruin the mood, though.

“Sure.” he said. “Or, here's an idea: I can finally beat your ass in _Operation_.”

Magnus's smile was back, and wider than ever. “I thought you'd never ask.”

* * *

 

“You won.” Alec stared at the plastic patient, eyes wide with disbelief. “I can't believe you beat me.”  
“Clearly, my hands are steadier than yours.” Magnus sounded smug.

“You were distracting me- that's why my hand slipped. So, technically, you cheated.”

“I did not.” Magnus's laugh was soft as he leaned across the board game to kiss Alec; Alec shook his head and leaned back.

“No. You'll get sick.”

“You haven't sneezed for hours.” Magnus pointed out. “You're feeling better, aren't you?”

“A little, yeah.” Alec admitted. “But let's not risk it.”

Magnus sighed and slid his hand down Alec's chest, rubbing the material of his sweater between his thumb and forefinger. “I can't wait for these exams to be _over._ Then you'll be feeling better, and I can kiss you all I like, and I'll probably be rewarding you for passing.”

“Rewarding me?” Alec asked.

“Mm, you know.” Magnus said vaguely, and Alec rolled his eyes.

“I don't.”

“You'll see.” Magnus winked. Alec marvelled at how mysterious- and frustrating- his boyfriend could be.

“So, what's next on the agenda?” Alec asked.

“Sleep. Lots of it.” Magnus said, after glancing at his watch. “It's really late, and you need the rest.”

“I'm fine.”

Magnus shook his head stubbornly. “I want you to recover, so you have to get enough sleep.” he got to his feet and walked over to where he'd left his jacket, draped across Alec's desk. “I'll be back tomorrow with more tea.”

“ _Great_.”

“Good night, Alexander.” Magnus gathered up his things, blew Alec a kiss, and left. It all felt rather abrupt to Alec- but, he supposed, Magnus really just wanted him to go to sleep.

He lay back and stared up at the ceiling, replaying the day in his head. However horrible he'd felt at the beginning of it, it had actually turned out really great. It was clear that Magnus knew just how to make him feel better.

Maybe, Alec decided, he needed to get sick more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little 'sickfic' interval. Love all my readers (I keep saying this, but I really really do) <33
> 
> My tumblr: @kaleinope


	11. It's Not Always Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alec studies Anatomy. Magnus...helps._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert excited flailing here*  
> 400 kudos, omg. This is super encouraging. I love all my readers! Thank you for all the positive response to this.  
> Have some more Malec-y goodness.  
> Sexual content in this one ;) Read on, my little deviants!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'It Comes Back to You' by Imagine Dragons_

It was impossible to study when you had a cat.

“Church.” Alec deadpanned, watching the insufferable animal's paw swipe across his laptop screen. “Stop it.”

The cat ignored him and kept pawing at the screen, like it was a sort of game. Alec gave up and slammed his laptop shut, to which Church responded with a rather disgruntled glare.

“Don't give me that look.” he gathered his laptop, as well as a few of his written notes, into his arms. “I have to go study somewhere else, now. Because of _you_.” (He really needed to stop talking to his cats like they understood) (He also wasn't sure when he'd started thinking of Chairman Meow as his cat, as well).

Alec left his bedroom, the study (or 'home office', as his parents referred to it as) in mind. Luckily, Church made no move to follow him. As he made his way into the study, however, he was met with the sight of a very frustrated Jace in front of the computer.

“I don't suppose you want to write this essay for me?” Jace asked, not even needing to look up to know that Alec had just entered the room. Sometimes, the heightened level of his sibling's senses scared Alec.

“Yeah, you know that's not happening.” Alec hugged his laptop to his chest. “Are you almost done?”

“I've been sitting in front of this thing for hours,” Jace said. “and I've only written fifty words. _Help me._ ”

“You'll be fine.”Alec said, moving closer and leaning over Jace's shoulder to see what he was writing on. Something to do with the recurring themes in _Animal Farm._

“Well, if you don't help me, I'm going to be stuck in here the rest of the day.”

“Okay,” Alec exhaled through his nose. “I'll just have to go to Magnus's place to study.”

Jace snorted. “Right. Like you'll actually get any studying done while you're _there._ ”

“I'm not getting any studying done here either. So.” Alec patted his brother's shoulder and started to walk from the room. “You haven't mentioned the theme of propaganda yet.”

“ _Thank you!_ ” Jace's voice called after him as he left.

Alec sincerely hoped he actually would be able to get some studying done at Magnus's- but, he knew his boyfriend was too much of a temptation for this to be true. Regardless, he got into his car and went.

* * *

 

Alec let himself into Magnus's apartment and spoke without any preamble:

“I need to use your desk.”

Magnus was lounging on the purple couch, headphones on, an arm draped over his face. This was Magnus's study method, as Alec had come to learn; Magnus recorded his lectures and listened to them on repeat. At the moment, he was still unaware that Alec had just barged into his apartment.

Alec crossed the lounge in a few broad steps. He leaned over and pulled at Magnus's headphones, which caused Magnus to jolt and throw his arm away from his face. His eyes were wide.

“Alec!” he adjusted his position so that he was sitting upright, his back against the arm of the couch. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.” Alec gave him a hurried kiss on the cheek. “I need to use your desk.”

“To study, I'm assuming.” Magnus eyed the laptop and textbook bundled in Alec's arms.

“Yeah- I'm really sorry for intruding and everything, but I really can't concentrate at home because of Jace and Church and-”

Magnus hushed him, pressing a finger to Alec's lips. “Slow down. I don't mind, Alec. You know you're welcome here any time.”

Alec kissed the finger against his lips mindlessly. “What would I do without you?”

“The world would be a very bleak place without me, I know.” Magnus said sombrely. Alec rolled his eyes.

“Were you studying, too?” he asked.

“I was, indeed. The history of architecture is _dreadfully_ boring.”

“So you were falling asleep, when I got here?” Alec grinned.

“Maybe I was. Can you blame me?” Magnus shifted off of the couch, getting to his feet. Alec glanced downwards; Magnus was barefoot, and his toenails were painted a bright green. The color matched Magnus's shirt (Alec was starting to get better at noticing this kind of thing, due to his boyfriend's influence).

“You know where the study is.” Magnus gestured towards the hallway. “Would you like some coffee?”

“That'd be great, thanks.” Alec said, before heading out of the lounge. Magnus gave him a light tap on the ass on his way out, which simply made Alec smile. He was starting to get used to that kind of thing.

Magnus's study was a small room, that was (of course) decorated very tastefully. The walls were a deep burgundy- and this, along with the dark hardwood floors, always made the room seem rather warm. Floating shelves lined the walls, groaning under rows of books and ornaments. Alec leaned against the desk as he set down his things; the _desk_ was stunning, in itself. It was clear glass, and very modern. The desk held various items- photo frames, more books. Alec's eyes landed on a mother-of-pearl snuff box he'd never noticed, before. Curiosity getting the better of him, he reached for the box and flipped the lid open. A single, worn photo lay in the base of the box. Alec gazed at it with dark blue eyes, too hesitant to pick it up (he wouldn't want to smudge it with his fingers).

The photo was of a young boy and a woman, who had her arms around him; mother and son. Alec realised the boy was Magnus. The bright green eyes that stared at him from the picture- shining with that familiar excitement and crinkled in a smile- were unmistakeable. Alec's mind registered that the woman was obviously Magnus's mother. She was beautiful. Tall, slender, young; Magnus's eyes were an echo of hers, as were the contours of his face.

With a shock, Alec realised he was invading Magnus's privacy. He shut the box with a snap and moved away from the desk, guilt swelling in his chest; he needed Magnus to trust him, so what was he doing going through his things? He had to pretend that he never saw the photo. He sighed and sunk into the chair, staring at his textbook.

He had to focus on studying, for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

“You look so tense, darling.” Magnus's slender hands rubbed at Alec's shoulders, as Alec hunched over his notes. He breathed out slow and felt himself melt under Magnus's touch. “Why don't you take a break?”

“No, I really need to get through this.” Alec shook his head. “I just...I can't seem to get the facts to stick in my head.”

Alec had one exam left- _one_ , that was it. It was almost over- but studying for the last one was, by far, the most overwhelming. After about a month of cramming and stress and sickness, he was bone-tired.

“You'll be fine.” Magnus kissed the spot behind his ear, murmuring reassurances.

“Magnus...” Alec set his book down, spun the desk chair around to face his boyfriend. “What if I'm not cut out for this?”

“For what, exactly?”

“ _This._ ” he gestured to his textbook, his pile of notes, his laptop. “Studying to get into medical school. What if I'm just...not meant to be a doctor?”

Granted, he was reflecting his feelings about the snuff box onto something else- an entirely different issue, to distract himself- but Magnus didn't need to know that.

“Now, Alexander, why would you say that?” Magnus frowned. “Are you actually regretting the whole pre-med thing?”  
“Maybe.”

“What did you aspire to be, when you were younger?” Magnus asked, perching himself on the desk.

“A policeman. A fireman.” Alec shrugged. “And then a doctor.”

Magnus licked his lower lip, fighting a grin. “If you were a fireman, I'd probably be setting my apartment alight on a regular basis.”

Alec smiled wearily. “That's...flattering, Magnus. Thank you.”

“I mean it.” Magnus said. “And I don't quite see where the problem is, Alec. Unless… you really don't like the idea of becoming a doctor, anymore.”

“It's not that. It's just...it's _so tough_ , right now.” Alec raked his fingers through his hair. “What if I didn't explore my options enough? A doctor is kind of a generic choice, isn't it? And what if I'm not smart enough for this? What if-”

“Alec, you need to relax.” Magnus reached forward and curled his fingers around Alec's, gently pulling his hands from his hair. “If you want to do this, you _can_ do this. Nothing is ever easy.”

Alec hesitated. “You're right.”

“Always am.” Magnus said, placing a kiss on each of Alec's hands (Alec could feel himself blushing like a pre-teen).

“Oh!” Magnus perked up suddenly, shifting forward on the desk. “I have an idea.”

“For what?”

“You're studying anatomy, right?” Magnus's green eyes were bright with his revelation. “Use me to study. They say it's easier when you actually picture it on the body, right?”

“Yes, but that's referring to _cadavers,_ ” Alec raised an eyebrow. “and I somehow doubt you're offering to let me cut you open.”

“Just run your hands over me and visualise.” Magnus winked.

“Well...” Alec considered it, leaning back in the chair. “I'm struggling with the thoracic breathing mechanism, so, I suppose...”

“Say no more.” And Magnus's shirt was off, in less than a second. Alec couldn't help it- he stared.

Magnus's bare torso was a sight that would be recurring in Alec's dreams for months to come; like the rest of Magnus, the skin was ridiculously smooth and a shade of caramel that made him look positively _edible_ (Alec had to shake the thoughts of biting down on Magnus's hip from his mind). He was lean, and toned, and not _too_ muscular. Best of all, a metallic piercing glinted in Magnus's navel (Alec imagined twisting his tongue around the piercing, and his whole body instantly felt too warm).

“Uh,” he said, incapable of much else.

“You can admire my magnificence later, Alexander.” Magnus sounded amused. “Right now, pretend I'm a...mannequin, or something.”

“Right.” Alec moved the chair forward, so he could place his hands on Magnus's chest. “I'll, uh, start with the additional muscles for inspiration.”

“You do that.”

“Pectoralis major,” Alec mumbled to himself, running his hand across where (he assumed) ribs five to seven lay. “Deep to it is pectoralis minor. Then there's serratus anterior,” he slid his hand around, gripping Magnus's side just below his underarm. “In the neck, there's the sternocleidomastoid...” Alec trailed his other hand up Magnus's neck, his words trailing off. Magnus's skin was just so soft, and warm, and _inviting._ He leaned forward and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Magnus's chest, wanting to taste him, to breathe him in. He felt Magnus shudder in response.

“Okay,” his boyfriend murmured. “This was a bad idea.”

“I'm not going to get anything done like this.” Alec agreed, pressing another kiss to Magnus's torso; this one, just underneath 'pectoralis major'. “Hey,” he mumbled against Magnus's skin, remembering something. “I still owe you for last time.”

“What are you talking about, Alexander?” Magnus sounded curious, as he ran his fingers through Alec's hair.

Wordlessly, Alec started to unzip Magnus's form-fitting jeans. Magnus got the gist.

“ _Oh._ I see.”

Alec didn't really care if he was being forward, or if he should have actually been studying, or if it wasn't the time or place- he was drunk on Magnus. The sight of his bare torso, the lingering cinnamon scent of him. He knew what he wanted to do- he only hoped he could do it right.

Alec pulled Magnus into his lap by the belt-loops, and Magnus straddled him comfortably. Alec kissed his way up Magnus's neck, still breathing him in, as he unzipped his boyfriend's jeans. His eyes slid over to the desk, his gaze lingering on the snuff box. He needed this distraction. He needed to stop thinking about the photo.

“I must say,” Magnus breathed. “this really is an effective use of a study break.”

In that moment, Alec didn't care about anatomy, or exams, or being a doctor, or that he'd seen something he shouldn't have. All he was focused on was Magnus- on finally getting the opportunity to pleasure him.

Alec trailed his fingers down Magnus's abdomen, gently rolling his piercing between his fingers (Magnus's eyes fluttered closed, at this) before slipping his hand into Magnus's tight underwear. He curled his fingers around Magnus's straining erection, and stroked him in slow, steady movements. He kept what he knew felt good in mind; he teased Magnus with feather-light strokes, at first, before tightening his grip a fraction and speeding up the up-down movement of his hand. He pressed kisses to Magnus's chest again, and his boyfriend responded by knotting both hands in his hair.

“Alexander.” Magnus moaned. A thrill ran through Alec. He nipped at the flushed skin of Magnus's torso.

“Please, _please_ ,” Magnus was repeating, as he rocked his hips in time with Alec's hand. Alec, working on instinct, brought his index finger and thumb together in an 'o' shape, and focused on stimulating Magnus's tip. Magnus came a second later, pulling at Alec's hair and biting at his lip. It was wonderful to watch. To know that _he_ could elicit that kind of response in Magnus, was satisfying beyond words.

“How are you so good at that?” Magnus asked breathlessly, as Alec pulled his hand back and reached for a tissue to clean up the mess.

“I learnt from you.” Alec said simply. Magnus laughed and pressed a kiss to Alec's forehead.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured.

Alec couldn't answer that question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I killed two birds with one stone, with this chapter. I was literally studying anatomy as I wrote this xD


	12. A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alec and Magnus indulge in one another, to celebrate the end of their exams._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I survived my two semester tests for the week (just barely), so I've finally finished this!  
> I'm under so much stress right now xD Feels like this chapter took forever.  
> Still, I hope you all enjoy~  
> Warning: this chapter has smut. So yeah. Read on!
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'To Be Alone' by Hozier_

Alec found himself in a sort of disbelieving haze, after he walked out of his last exam venue. Exams were over- and, he figured, he'd managed to survive every single one them. Anatomy had gone surprisingly well. Certain images in his mind had actually _helped_ him recall what he needed to; he felt he would have to thank Magnus, for that.

He had this in mind as he walked into the campus parking lot and approached his white VW bug (his sister often teased him about having a 'girly car'- but it was second-hand, paid for with his _own_ money, and it was more than reliable). Magnus had also insisted they celebrate the end of the semester together, so this was more than enough reason for Alec to dial Magnus's number.

“Hey,” he said to Magnus the second he picked up, and tucked his phone between his shoulder and ear as he slid into the driver's seat. “The paper was actually okay.”

“That's wonderful, Alec.” Magnus's voice lilted happily. “Should I get the cocktails ready?”

“Sure.” Alec twisted the key in ignition, and the engine shuddered to life.

“When can I expect you?”

“Within the hour, I promise.” he pulled the car out of the parking spot, wheels crunching over gravel. “I really just want to see you.”

It was true. His thoughts had immediately migrated to Magnus, the moment he'd answered the last question of his exam. They hadn't seen each other for four whole days, and they were at a point in their relationship where this was unacceptable.

“Someone's eager.” Magnus's voice said, soft and low in his ear. Alec couldn't fight his giddy smile.

“Naturally.” he said. “And, uh, my 'reward',” he licked at his lower lip, feeling marginally braver than usual, “is that still on the table?”

“Like you even have to ask, Alexander.”

Alec will admit that he sped his car up, at that.

* * *

 

When he arrived at Magnus's apartment, it was much quieter than usual.

“Hello?” Alec called out, dropping his keys into the bowl and stepping out his shoes (he didn't want to track any dirt over Magnus's brand-new, pristine white carpet). The living area was empty, save for a sleepy Chairman Meow curled up in the armchair. Alec decided not to disturb the cat's slumber (he'd been about to scratch behind the Chairman's ears- a habit, really- but he thought better of it). He made his way down the hall.

“Magnus?” Alec knocked at the open door of Magnus's bedroom; the lights were on, the sheets were rumpled, and a pair of shoes lay discarded in front of the full-length mirror. All signs pointed to the fact that his boyfriend was, in fact, at home.

“In here, darling.” He heard Magnus's voice, faintly, from the en-suite bathroom. Alec didn't think too much as he strode across the room and opened the bathroom door- and nearly fell over his own feet at what he saw.

The first time he saw Magnus naked, it was _not_ under the circumstances he'd expected it to be.

Also, he technically wasn't seeing the _whole_ of Magnus's naked body- most of it was hidden from view- but Magnus was _naked and that was the point._

Alec had to grip onto the doorframe, out of fear he might fall over. His boyfriend was soaking in the tub, submerged in bubbles up to his neck. He was grinning that Cheshire grin at Alec.

“Oh, god, sorry,” Alec started to babble, but surprised himself when he made no move to leave. “I didn't realise, um-”

“What _are_ you apologising for, Alexander?” Magnus righted himself into a sitting position. Alec found himself staring at Magnus's torso (this tended to happen often, lately), and the way it glistened from the water.

“Walking...walking in on you. Obviously.” Alec said around his suddenly-heavy tongue.

“You could stop stuttering and _join_ me, babe.”

“What?” Surely he hadn't heard Magnus right. _Surely_ he hadn't just suggested they bathe together.

Alec almost pinched himself, to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

“You need to unwind, Alexander. You've had a long day.” Magnus's green eyes gleamed, unusually bright in the dimly-lit room. “And how better to relax than to take a bubble bath?”

“I...” Alec hesitated, but it honestly wasn't that difficult to make a decision. “But, we haven't...you haven't...you know.” he gestured at his own body lamely.

“I'll look away, if you prefer.” As always, Magnus knew exactly what Alec was trying to say. He leaned his head back against the edge of the tub languidly, closing his eyes. “I won't peek, I promise.”

Alec considered it, already fiddling with the hem of his frayed shirt (the weather was starting to get too warm for sweaters); he _wanted_ to do it, but his stomach wouldn't stop twisting nervously. A romantic bath with Magnus seemed incredibly intimate, even if they didn't physically touch one another or do anything remotely sexual. Even if Magnus didn't open his eyes until Alec got into the bath, the situation called for a level of intimacy Alec had no experience with.

Well, he supposed: he had to start somewhere.

“Okay,” he said. His clear voice bounced off the tiled walls, which took him by surprise; he'd expected to stammer or for his voice to tremble. Magnus had a knowing smile on his face, and his gold-lined eyelids were still lowered, perfect eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones.

“You're not going to look?” Alec's voice betrayed him then, hitching just slightly.

“Not if you don't want me to, darling.”

Alec wasn't sure _what_ he wanted, but he knew he wouldn't be any good at a strip tease, so he kept quiet as he lowered his jeans and dropped them to the floor. His shirt joined the pants, and a second later, so did his underwear. With his back to the bathtub, and his body thrumming with what was about to happen, he said:

"I think. Um. You can...look, actually.”

Magnus made a humming noise and Alec heard the sound of the bathwater sloshing gently. And, then, a soft laugh.

“Alec, you look _adorable_ in nothing but your socks!”

 _Oh god._  
“Magnus!” Alec spluttered, a burning blush shooting up his neck. “You know what,” he made a frustrated noise and kicked off his white socks (he always took them off last when he undressed- it was a habit). “close your eyes again.”

“Oh, Alexander, I was just-”

“ _Close your eyes.”_ Alec repeated through clenched teeth.

“Fine, fine.” Even Magnus's sigh sounded amused.

Alec counted to five in his head before turning around; Magnus (thankfully) had his eyes closed, and his face was turned upwards- almost expectantly. Alec approached the bathtub and stepped in, right foot first, before lowering himself into the warm water. Luckily, Magnus's tub was ridiculously large. It easily accommodated the two tall men. Alec wondered what on earth possessed a person to buy a bath large enough for two people over six feet.

“You can look, now.” Alec grumbled, and rolled his eyes just in time for Magnus to see.

“You really did look cute in your socks, Alexander.” he purred.

“Drop it, please.” Alec scowled, fighting against the embarrassment. He didn't want to end up fleeing the bathroom and disappointing Magnus. “Is this supposed to be my 'reward'?”

“Oh, not even remotely- I have something _much_ better planned. I just thought we could unwind, first.”

“What, no champagne?” Alec attempted a joke. He ran a wet hand through his hair, slicking the unruly mess. “I thought that kind of thing went hand-in-hand with a bubble bath.”

“I _could_ get us some bubbly- but, honestly, I've no inclination to get out of this bath any time soon.” Magnus's foot was rubbing against Alec's left calf. Alec couldn't say he minded.

“You're so multi-talented, it wouldn't surprise me if you just snapped your fingers and _made_ some drinks appear.” he said.

“Alexander, I'm omniscient, not _omnipotent._ ”

“You're verbose and vain, is what you are.” Alec said, fighting a smile. He felt his body relax; he slid a little deeper into the water. If he closed his eyes, and focused on the warmth surrounding him and the steamy, vanilla-scented air, he could almost pretend thrills weren't running through his body from Magnus's presence.

Unfortunately, Magnus _was_ there, and he was _very naked._ They both were, and this was making an extremely different kind of warmth pool in Alec's lower regions.

He thanked god for the bubbles.

The two of them soaked together in the tub for about twenty minutes, making idle talk: how their days had gone, the new Chinese take-out place down the street, Magnus's rude neighbours, their own plans for the weekend. Alec had succeeded in a relatively calm demeanour- he focused on Magnus's face, on the conversation, nothing more- but this fell to ruins when Magnus decided to get out of the bath.

“I'll meet you in the bedroom.” Magnus said, swivelled around, and stood up. Alec was faced with a sudden predicament in the form of Magnus's ass, which was _right there_ and so firm and round-

Alec had to fight the incredible urge to sink his teeth into the soft mounds of flesh. His body was tilting dangerously forward just as Magnus stepped out of the tub.

“Alec?”

Alec looked up into the amused face of his boyfriend. “Mm?”

“Like what you see?” Magnus asked, and Alec's gaze flicked downwards- but Magnus already had a towel around his waist.

“Uh. Yeah.” Alec agreed absently, his tongue flicking over his lips. “But you knew that.”

“Bedroom, five minutes.” Magnus's voice lowered, and if Alec looked up he knew he'd see green irises darkened with want. That dark shade of green- a kind of forest hue- was slowly becoming Alec's favorite.

* * *

 

“Drop the towel.” Magnus said, startling Alec when he entered the bedroom (his grip on his towel, however, tightened). Magnus lay across the bed, resting on the royal blue sheets. His silk robe left little to the imagination.

“Um...” Alec took a tentative step forward. “Why?”

“Come here.” Magnus lifted his body so that he was sitting upright, and he beckoned for Alec to approach the bed. Alec obliged.

“What are you doing?” Alec kept an iron grip on his towel; Magnus pressed a kiss just under Alec's navel.

“You're not still peeved about the sock comment, are you?”

“Well if you'd stop bringing it up...” Alec sucked in a breath as Magnus nosed the line of his hip. “N-no, it's not bothering me anymore.”

“Good.” Magnus toyed with Alec's hands, which were fisted in the towel. “Then drop the towel, darling.”

“Magnus...”

It was a moment- an honest to god _moment_ \- that could change everything. Alec was about to be completely naked in front of his boyfriend. He had to swallow against the panic; it wasn't as if he was with someone he barely knew- he was with Magnus, who he trusted. Magnus, who'd done things with him before.

Magnus, who was gazing up at him with those open, honest, emerald eyes.

Alec let go of the towel, and it pooled around his bare feet.

“Mm, _Alexander.”_ Magnus breathed, and that was almost enough to get Alec off. The way Magnus had said his name was laced with desire, and admiration, and things Alec never would have associated with himself.

Alec was about to ask Magnus what he was planning to do, but then Magnus was on his knees, on the floor, and his lips were parted and it became _crystal clear._

“Wait,” Alec wrestled with his brain to get the word out. “You...you really don't have to.”

Magnus lifted an eyebrow. “Don't you want this?”

Alec felt like that was a bizarre question. “I- of course I _want_ -” he shook his head. “ _But._ ”

“But nothing, Alec. _I_ sure as hell want this.”

Magnus's lips pressed against Alec's erection, then, and Alec nearly forgot to breathe. He watched, pupils dilated, as Magnus pressed a light kiss to the head, before working his tongue around it slowly. Magnus kept his gaze locked on Alec's; Alec found he couldn't look away, even if he wanted to. Magnus wrapped his lips around Alec's shaft. As his mouth descended on Alec, taking him in agonizingly slowly- inch by inch- a low groan escaped Alec. It felt warm and slick and _new._

He weaved his fingers through Magnus's hair, trying to ground himself, and concentrated on not letting his hips rock forward. It wasn't easy.

“Magnus- _ah,_ ” Alec tugged at Magnus's hair as he moved his tongue along the underside of Alec's cock. Magnus made a soft noise, an appreciative moan. He took Alec deeper, before pulling his head back until his lips were only wrapped around the tip, and Alec was trembling and ready to beg for more- and then Magnus descended on Alec all over again. He repeated this action. He wrapped a hand around the base of Alec's shaft to stroke him in time with his movements. His other hand slid up Alec's body, glittery nails grazing against the planes of Alec's abdomen.

“Oh god. Oh god.” Alec's hips stuttered, and Magnus simply opened his mouth a little wider. His eyes met Alec's steadily. Spurred by this, Alec thrust- just slightly- into Magnus's willing mouth. Magnus's eyelids lowered and he unmistakeably _moaned._ Alec thrust again, biting into his lower lip; the feeling was a thousand times better than a hand, and the sight of Magnus on his knees, letting Alec take his mouth- it was all too much.

“I'm close.” Alec got the words out, hips moving in a steady rhythm. He let go of Magnus's hair, started to pull out- but Magnus gripped Alec's hips and kept him still. Surprised, Alec's hips jolted forward one last time. He rocked into the wet heat of Magnus's mouth as he came, and Magnus swallowed around him.

Alec wasn't sure what he'd just done.

“Mm,” Magnus pulled his mouth off of Alec's slick length, licking his glistening lips. “You were so good, my Alec.”

“Wow.” Was all Alec could think to say. And then: “I think I need to sit down.”

“Would you like to get dressed?” Magnus kissed at Alec's hip, smiling against the pale skin. “I can get your socks for you?”

“ _Drop it._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the dorkiest dork I can't believe I did this.
> 
> my tumblr: @kaleinope  
> (We can chat about feelings and stuff)


	13. You Don't Have To, But I Want, I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Plans are made for Summer Vacation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, my lovelies. (I should be studying for my test tomorrow, but pfft.)  
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'for him.' by Troye Sivan_

Alec had a happy place.

When he closed his eyes and just breathed and pictured it, for himself- that one place in the world he felt most at peace- the image was so vivid it was almost as if he was physically there.

In his mind's eye, a deep blue expanse of water stretched towards rolling green hills in the distance. If he looked down, he'd see his legs hanging off the side of the dock, his feet just touching the water and making gentle ripples. The sky was dusky with twilight. In the corner of his vision sat the Lightwood lakehouse, all gabled roofs and bay windows. He could imagine the crispness of the evening lake air, the cool touch of the water at his feet, the sound of cicadas in the distance. He could just make out his favorite hiking trail, winding its way up one of the hills.

Sometimes, he used his happy place to escape from real life (more often than he'd care to admit). When the stress got too much, or he was simply overwhelmed in any way, the only way to calm down would be to imagine the lake.

Sometimes, he'd just find himself there in a dream.

The latter seemed to be happening more frequently. This might have been due to the fact that it actually _was_ Summer, and the annual Lake Trip was around the corner. It might also have been because his brain was just trying to wind down and recover from exams.

It was usually the same: Alec sitting by the lake, at his favorite time of day, just drinking in the scenery. Other times, his mind would replay different memories. Hiking with Jace for the first time, when they were twelve years old; teaching a much younger Max to swim in the lake; Izzy making flower crowns for the boys and forcing them to wear them for the whole day; playing board games inside of the lakehouse, watching the rain drum against the window. Alec loved these mental images.

But in his recent dreams, there was something different about it all- something new. Another person would always be there with him. Alec would never actually see them- but he could sense they were there. A soothing presence. A familiar presence.

Sometimes, just before he'd wake up and open his eyes, the person would take a hold of his hand.

And when Alec felt the familiar touch of a smooth, warm palm, long fingers curling in between his own, he knew.

* * *

 

The family trip was a week away, and Alec was still trying to figure out a way to tell Magnus about it.

“Do you think he'll miss me?” Alec asked his sister. He was helping Isabelle pack (she always did her packing way in advance, but he wasn't sure how he always got roped into it), and was sitting amidst a mountain of clothing on her bed. He felt lost between the piles of dresses. “It's only two weeks, but, I'm definitely going to miss him.”

Isabelle was folding brassieres into her oversized suitcase. She raised her eyebrows. “I don't know, Alec. First you'll have to actually _tell_ him you're going away.”

“I'm trying.” Alec lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I just don't want to disappoint him. He thinks we're spending Summer vacation together.”

For the past week, Alec had tried to bring up the Lightwood trip. But the words always stuck in his throat; this was usually because Magnus would start to make plans (“We should go drinking with Ragnor- you can finally meet him!” or “You're going to binge-watch Marvel with me this Summer, okay?”), and Alec just _couldn't_ ruin his boyfriend's excitement.

“You know what I think the problem is?” Izzy said. “I think you actually want him to come _with_.”

“What?” Alec could deny it, but he knew that his tell-tale blush had already given him away.

“Oh, yes, that's a great idea. Do it. Ask him to come.” Isabelle's grin was practically wolfish.

“Wha- I _can't_.” Alec protested, busying himself with the folding of clothes. He was fairly certain Magnus wouldn't want to spend weeks at a lake, with a family he still barely knew. Magnus also seemed like the city type- _definitely_ not the kind of man who liked to get in touch with nature, at all. Alec couldn't ask him. He didn't want to hear the inevitable ' _no_ _'_ _._

“I asked Simon to come.” Isabelle said. “What's the difference?”

“Magnus is...Magnus.” Alec didn't know how to explain. He hesitated before admitting, “I'd love it if he came with, but-”

“Then call him!”

“It's not...” he sighed, still unable to come up with any good excuse. “It's not that easy, Iz.”

Alec barely had time to get the words out before Isabelle threw herself across the bed, grabbing for his phone (which was balanced atop a pile of skirts). She unlocked his screen and went straight into his contact list.

“How do you know my password?” Alec frowned, reaching for the phone. Izzy jumped up from the bed.

“You're predictable, big brother.” she hovered a perfectly manicured finger over the dial button. “I'm going to call him, because I know you won't.”

“Isabelle. Give it back.”

“I don't think I want to.” Isabelle smirked at him and started to back out of the bedroom. “So too bad.”

“Where are you going?” Alec scrambled to his feet, just as Isabelle bolted down the hallway. He made a frustrated noise and ran after her; they found themselves at Jace's bedroom, at the end of the hall.

“Hey!” Jace caught onto his sister's arms as she barrelled into him, stumbling with the impact. Alec burst into the bedroom a second later, gripping the doorframe before he tripped over the threshold. Their sudden entrance had startled Max- who was sitting behind Jace's electric keyboard in the corner of the room. He stared at his older siblings, fingers suspended over the piano keys.

“What's happening.” he said.

“Give me the phone, Isabelle.” Alec thrust his hand towards Isabelle, who shook her head so hard that her ponytail came loose.

“Too late. It's dialling.” she said, as her dark hair spilled around her face.

“What is-” Jace took the phone from Isabelle, inspecting the screen. “ _Oh._ Why doesn't Alec want us to call Magnus?”

“We're going to invite Magnus to join the family trip,” Isabelle hit at Jace's chest as the call was answered. Alec heard Magnus's voice, just faintly, come through the speakers. “Speak!” Isabelle commanded.

“Magnus, hey!” Jace put the phone to his ear, back-pedalling to avoid Alec's reaching hands. “Yeah, it's Jace. Alec wanted me to ask you somethi- _owfuck_.”

Alec had thrown himself against Jace, which sent them both tumbling to the floor. The phone skidded across the hardwood and ended up in the other corner of the room.

“Dude!” Jace tried to push Alec off of him, but Alec was having none of it. “Just let me-”

“It's too soon for me to ask him this kind of thing.” Alec said, keeping his full weight on Jace. “I just _can't.”_

“Hi, Magnus.” Alec's head snapped up; Max had retrieved the phone, and was talking to (what Alec assumed must have been) a very confused Magnus.

“No, everything's okay.” Max sat down on the bed. Alec tried to get up- but Jace had a sudden grip on his legs, preventing him from going anywhere. He glared at Jace and Isabelle, who were wearing identically smug expressions.

“Jace and Alec are just fighting because Alec wants to ask you something, but also _doesn't_ want to, so Jace decided to do it for him.” Max was saying.

Alec made a strangled, embarrassed sort of noise. “Max-”

“Alec wants you to come to the lakehouse with us.” Max paused to listen to Magnus's reply. “Well, _I_ think he's embarrassed to ask you because he doesn't want you to see him in a bathing suit.”

Alec ran his hands over his red face. “Oh god.”

“If I was as pale as him, I wouldn't want anyone to see me either.” his little brother said simply, but not unkindly. He looked up at Alec, holding one hand over the phone's receiver. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Why.” Alec started weakly, then shook his head, steeling himself. “Give me the phone, I guess.”

Max tossed the device across the room. Alec caught it with deft fingers.

“Magnus,” Alec breathed into the phone, getting to his feet. Jace tried to stand up, as well; Alec placed a foot on his brother's chest to keep him down. “How are you?” Alec tried to keep his tone light, casual.

“How are _you?_ ” Magnus sounded bemused. “What is going on over there?”

“Oh, nothing.” Alec said. “It's nothing. I've got nothing to ask you.” he winced, then, as Isabelle hit his arm.

“What's this about a lakehouse?”

“Um.” He pushed Izzy's hands away, before she could hit him again. “About that. You see...”

“Spit it out, babe.”

“We're going on a two week trip. To Lake George.”

A sudden, invisible weight was lifted. Alec had to wonder why he'd been so afraid to bring it up, before.

“Sounds lovely.” Magnus said; Alec couldn't decipher the emotion behind the words. “Are your siblings trying to get you to invite me along?

“Well...”

“You don't have to feel forced, Alexander.”

Alec's heart twinged inside his chest. The words were out before he could stop them:

“I want you to come. I haven't stopped thinking about it, actually.” His mind was on his dreams- the constant dreams he'd been having for weeks on end. “I'd miss you too much if you didn't, so please. Please come with?”

Alec knew that he wouldn't be able to appreciate the lake without Magnus there. It would feel unnatural to _not_ hold hands with his boyfriend, as he sat by the lake at twilight.

Magnus went silent. For a minute, all Alec heard was the soft sound of static and Magnus breathing. Isabelle was shaking Alec's shoulder and whispering, “see, that wasn't so hard”.

“I'd _love_ to, Alec.” Magnus said eventually. “Why didn't you ask me sooner?”

“I wasn't sure if you'd want to.” Alec tried not to sound too dazed. His mind was trying to process the fact that _Magnus had said yes_.

“You didn't have to worry so much, my Alexander.”

 _My Alexander._ Alec had to admit- he loved being called this. It made him feel wanted, and something else he couldn't quite place.

“We leave next week.” Alec smiled to himself, biting on his thumb. “Is that okay?”

“It's more than okay.” Magnus said. “Come over later?”

“Like you even have to ask.”

“I'll need help packing. I have no idea what one wears for this kind of thing.”

“Is that supposed to surprise me?” Alec asked.

“Ha,” Magnus said, dryly. “Goodbye, Alexander.”

“See you later.” He ended the call and tucked his phone into his pocket. When he glanced downwards, he saw that Jace was glaring at him.

“Get your foot off my ribcage.”

* * *

 

“Maybe you should just borrow some of my clothes.” Alec said, as he and Magnus rifled through an unhealthy amount of clothing. “This all looks too expensive to ruin.”

“I'll just use some of my older stuff. Don't worry.” Magnus held up a shirt. “This should be fine?”

It was a familiar article of clothing- a red flannel shirt that, Alec realised, Magnus had worn on their second date.

“No,” Alec said. “I like you in that shirt.”

Alec's ears went red the second he said it. He couldn't believe he was even capable of being so sentimental.

Magnus tilted his head for a minute, thoughtful, and said, “I _do_ look good in flannel.” He folded the shirt into a neat, precise square.

“I think I just found some plainer shirts.” Alec pulled a small pile of t-shirts out of the closet. “These should work.”

The shirts had varying patterns or phrases printed on them (like “oh what fun it is to _ride_ ” and “no one likes a shady beach”). Alec had to smile at the fact that even Magnus's _plain_ clothes had a 'wow factor' to them.

“Great. I'll take those.”

“What about pants, though?”

“Well, you know what they say,” Magnus winked at him, “the best pants are no pants.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Jeans. Pack your jeans. And shorts, I guess, if you have any.”

“You're the expert.” Magnus said. He stepped behind Alec and wrapped his slender arms around Alec's torso. Alec relaxed under the familiar feeling of his boyfriend's hands sliding up his chest. “I've been meaning to ask,” Magnus went on, pressing a kiss to the back of Alec's neck, “what exactly will this trip entail?”

“Mm, well. We go to Lake George every Summer.” Alec said. “My parents own a lakehouse there and it's great- it's a really mellow holiday for all of us. Some days we relax and do nothing. Other days, we do all sorts of things out on the lake- canoeing, swimming- or, we go hiking.” he shrugged. “Everything is kinda along those lines. We go to the town sometimes, too. Izzy says it's 'quaint'.”

“Alright,” Magnus drew the word out, “not my usual idea of a holiday, but I know I'll have a great time with you.”

Alec raised a brow. “How are you so sure about that?”

“Because your face lights up when you talk about it.” Magnus said, straightforward. “And if it makes _you_ happy, well.”

Alec sucked in a breath, hoping to god it might help him keep his composure.

It didn't.

He made a small sound in his throat- a sort of whine, or a laugh, he wasn't sure- as he whirled around to face Magnus. He pressed a kiss to Magnus's forehead, closing his eyes. He kept his lips there and just inhaled deeply.

“Darling, what is it?” Magnus said, with a sort of suppressed laugh that made Alec smile. He kept quiet and just moved his lips along the lines of Magnus's face, pressing soft kisses to the perfect skin; his cheekbones, the sharp angle of his nose, the curve of his jaw. His lips grazed over Magnus's jawline for what might have been a full minute, before he finally pressed his mouth to Magnus's and kissed the corner of his smile.

“It's nothing.” Alec murmured. Magnus laughed against his lips, content.


	14. Stereo Bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The one with the roadtrip, petty fights, and 'a lot of water'._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler alert!  
> Important author's note: I have made a playlist for this fic which you can find [here](http://hypster.com/playlists/user/kaleinope?7177376#mU2JmwfYRrcPW3Vu.18). Specifically, it's Alec's playlist (as in, the one I mention in this chapter). So it's not a bad idea to listen to it while you read this ;) Tell me your thoughts on the playlist, and if I should make one for Magnus, as well.  
> If you want to stick to one song per chapter, though, the song for this chapter is:  
>  _"Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand_

“Thank _god_ you got this stereo customized,” Jace fiddled with a dial on the radio in question, jumping between stations. The speakers jolted with disjointed bits of different songs, occasionally interjected by talk radio. Alec swatted Jace's hand before he could tune into yet another station, which meant they had to settle on some kind of relationship advice talk show. Alec lowered the volume when the presenter started talking about bad sex partners.

“I'm not sure if 'customized' is the right word.” Alec mused. “More like: got the old radio ripped out to put a new one in.”

“Either way, you have an AUX cord, and that's all that counts.”

“My car, my music.” Alec stated, before his brother could even ask. He pulled up in front of a squat, cosy-looking brownstone, and parked his car against the curb. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to send a quick text.

“When are we picking up Magnus?” Jace asked, propping his feet up onto the dashboard as they waited. Alec glared at the offensive sight of blue flip-flops bracing against his spotless car, until Jace let out a long-suffering sigh and lowered his feet.

“After this. He said he'd only be ready by eight.” Alec checked the time on his phone, which told him that it was 7.30 AM.

“He realises he doesn't have to glamor up for a road-trip, right?”

“Hair like his takes effort, all right?” Alec said flippantly, like defending Magnus was second nature- which it technically was. “He doesn't roll out of bed with it all styled perfectly.”

“But he doesn't _have_ to style it for today _._ That's my point.”

“Leave him be.” he said. Who was he to argue against Magnus's 'beauty routine' (Magnus's words, not his)? No matter how many times he mentioned to Magnus that he _did_ like his hair loose and effortless (all the better to tug on), Magnus still preferred to put as much work as possible into his own appearance. And Alec didn't mind at all; he wouldn't want to change Magnus, not even remotely. Besides, Magnus didn't complain about the lack of effort Alec put into _his_ appearance, and it was only fair that it worked both ways.

“ _-great Summer sex,”_ the voice from the radio was saying, and Jace instantly turned up the volume. “ _We're interested to hear your stories. We also want to know: skinny-dipping. Yay or nay?”_

“Hella yay. There's an idea for you and Magnus.” Jace said. “We should call in.”

“What?” Alec spluttered, face going red. Then: “No. No calling in- _no.”_ he wrestled the cellphone out of Jace's hands, who loosened his grip on the device with surprisingly little resistance.

“But I've got so many stories! This one time, at band camp-” Jace joked, but Alec back-handed him in the chest to shut him up.

“Stop.” He tuned into a different radio station. Some kind of upbeat 'billboard hit' flowed from the speakers. _  
_ “Seriously, though. _Skinny-dipping_.” Jace emphasised, just as the people they'd been waiting for emerged from the house. Simon jogged down the front steps, arms laden with bags, and saying something to the short red-head that was tailing him. Jace sat up straighter.

“You didn't tell me Clary was coming with!” he hissed. “Are you kidding me?”

“I thought you'd be happier.” Alec laughed. “And I also thought you knew, by now. Isabelle invited her.”

Jace smoothed back his hair and slumped into his seat, trying for the picture of nonchalance. He muttered something along the lines of 'didn't mentally prepare myself'.

Alec opened his car door and stepped out onto the pavement. “Hey,” he greeted, moving around to the trunk and popping it open. Simon swung their bags into the car.

“I'm so excited.” Clary was saying, her green eyes wide and bright (they were different kind of green to Magnus's eyes, and not nearly as pretty). “I've never been to Lake George. What's it like?”

“It's a lake.” Alec said, shutting the trunk. At Clary's scoff, he added: “Well it _is._ ”

“You've painted such a brilliant picture for me, Alec. Thank you.”

“No problem.” He moved to get back into the car. “We should go, or we'll be late to pick up Magnus.”

“Yeah- sorry we took so long.” Simon apologised as he got into the back-seat. “Oh, hey, Jace.”

“Lewis.” Jace said, keeping his eyes forward. “And Clary. Hello.”

“Hi.” Clary said lightly.

Alec had to bite back a comment about sexual tension (in all honesty, the comment that had formed in his head was in Magnus's voice). He settled for an ' _anyway_ ', and started the car. They spent the rest of the drive to Magnus's apartment in silence.

Alec hoped to god the entire road-trip wouldn't be like this.

* * *

 

The group spent more time arguing about who went in which car than young adults probably should have.

“It's my car,” Alec was telling Jace adamantly, for the sixth time that day. “And Magnus is _my boyfriend_. Therefore, he comes with me.”

“I'm inclined to agree with that logic.” Magnus said, idly plucking a frayed thread from his bright orange shirt. He was leaning against Alec's car, and his attire was a stark contrast to the white vehicle.

“That leaves space for three in the back.” Izzy informed them. “Simon, Clary, and me.”

“And why can't it be Simon, Clary and _me_?” Jace said, as he piled luggage into the back of their parents' car.

“Because, Simon's _my_ boyfriend. Not yours.”

“God, I should hope so.” Simon muttered. Clary elbowed him in the ribs, apparently suppressing a laugh.

“So you and Max go with mom and dad.” Isabelle said. “Problem solved.”

Jace huffed, a heavy exhale through his nose. “But-”

“Honestly,” Magnus sighed, rolling his eyes skyward, “just take it in turns. Izzy, you come with us for the first half of the trip. Jace, swap with her at the halfway point. I'm sure Max wants to spend time with both of you, anyway.”

Max barely glanced up. “All I want to do is read, actually.”

“Still. I think taking it in turns is your best option.”

“There we go.” Alec said, before any more of his siblings could argue. “It's settled.”

His parents came out of the house, then; Robert double-checked that the front door was locked, and Maryse carried one last bag over to the car. Jace placed it into the trunk for her.

“Ready to go?” she asked, and the group made varying noises of agreement.

“Fantastic.” Maryse ruffled Max's hair, dropped a kiss into the dark locks. Max smiled behind his book, and Alec found himself smiling, too. It wasn't often he got to see his parents relaxed, without any kind of work-related thing weighing them down.

“If we get going now, we should be there before evening.” Robert approached the car. “And let's keep the pit-stops to a minimum?” he gave his children a look that said 'I am _not_ stopping this car at every gas station you happen to see'.

After discussing the route with his dad, and making sure they were on the same page, Alec slid into the driver's seat of his VW. The rest of the group was already assembled; Clary, Izzy and Simon looked remarkably comfortable in the back together, and Magnus had just manoeuvred his long body into the passenger seat. He was swiping through the playlist on Alec's iPod.

“Nice selection you have here.” he commented, and Alec leaned over to take the music player from him and kiss his cheek.

“I'm glad you think so,” Alec plugged the AUX cord into the device, “because it's what we'll be listening to for about four hours.”

“Just lay off on the Cure, Alec.” Isabelle said.

“You know I can't promise that.”

* * *

 

Isabelle and Clary were a bit of a deadly talkative combination, as the boys soon came to learn. Not even Magnus could keep up with their conversations- which encompassed anything and everything, and ranged from how Hollywood didn't do female heroines justice, to how easily nail-polish chipped. Alec had given up listening, and (by the looks of it) Magnus was starting to give up, too.

Simon, brave soul that he was, was still trying to add to the conversation (despite not getting much gap to talk).

“Hey.” Alec reached across the middle console to take hold of Magnus's hand, gently interlocking their fingers (he could easily drive with one hand, especially on a long expanse of straight road).

“Mm.” Magnus glanced up at him, a spark of amusement in his eyes. “Hi. You come here often?”

“No, actually.” Alec decided to play along. “Only when they let me out- and that's once a month, if I'm lucky.”

Magnus laughed. “No wonder we've never met before.”

“Pity, really.”

Magnus leaned over to peck Alec on the lips, which received a rather sudden response from the back of the car.

“You guys are too adorable together.” Simon gushed, which threw Alec off for a second (he had to wonder if Isabelle was rubbing off on her boyfriend). “I think I ship you two. You're, like, up there on my list- right next to Stormpilot.”

“'Stormpilot'?” Alec echoed.

“Finn and Poe Dameron, from Star Wars.” Clary explained. “Don't get him started.”

“Would I be considered the Poe of the relationship?” Magnus asked.

“Oh, absolutely.”

Alec had absolutely no idea what anybody in the car was talking about anymore, and was admittedly grateful when they stopped at the next gas station. The group piled out of the car to use the bathroom and buy snacks, which (regrettably) only took them about five minutes. Alec was checking that the car still had enough gas when everyone came back.

“Half time, swap sides.” Jace called as he exited the bathroom. There was a definite bounce in his step as he approached Alec's car.

“I guess.” Isabelle grumbled around her bottle of water. “Clary, come on.” she took her friend's arm and towed her towards the other car. Clary stumbled, but followed with very little argument.

Jace looked momentarily disappointed. He turned towards his brother, “Looks like this is gonna be a _bro-_ ad-trip, then.”

“Bro road-trip.” Simon said. “How clever.”

“Oh god, no more lame jokes.” Alec muttered, squinting against the sun. He unfolded his sunglasses to put them back on; Magnus let out a wolf-whistle. “Let's go.”

* * *

 

“You know what we should do?” Jace said, after another hour of driving. “We should get to know each other better.”

“I thought this was going to be a 'bro' trip.” Simon commented, barely looking up from his Nintendo DS.

“Shut up, Lewis.”

“I don't like being called _Lewis_.” Simon said. “There. Now you know me better.”

It was like Alec had a set of bickering pre-teens in the back-seat. He almost wished he had the girls talking his ear off again, instead.

Luckily, Magnus was there to smooth everything over.

“What did you have in mind, Jace?” he asked, in the process of peeling pink nail-polish off of his thumbnail. “Twenty questions?”

“That could work.”

“I won't be playing this game.” Alec said. “I already know you better than I'd like, Jace.” he leaned towards his boyfriend confidentially. “Did you know that he's terrified of ducks?”

Simon laughed. Magnus's lips curled into an amused smile.

“Yeah, well, you're scared of umbrellas.” Jace retorted.

“Magnus already knows that. Try harder.”

“And spiders.”

“Who isn't?”

Jace made a frustrated grunting sound, which meant he was giving up.

“Maybe we should just swap stories.” he suggested. He shifted forward so he could lean between the two front seats. “Like. We could tell each other about our exes.”

“I'd really rather not.” Magnus said.

“Why _that_? I'd literally rather talk about anything else.” Alec frowned, at a loss. He was grateful that Magnus seemed to be on the same page, though (he was in no mood to hear about Camille again. He never was).

“That's what dudes do, right?” Jace said. “My orchestra friends always talk about their ex-girlfriends.”

“Wow. Your school friends are sadder than I thought.”

“How about it, Simon?” Jace ignored Alec. “Do you even _have_ an ex?”

“I've had a few. Maia, Maureen.” Simon said, tone breezy. Alec heard the sound of digitized fighting coming from the device in his hands. “Raphael was the last one.”

This was met with stunned silence.

“What?” Simon glanced up, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. “Izzy didn't tell you?”

“ _No?_ ” Alec and Jace exclaimed in never-to-be-repeated unison, as Magnus whirled around in his seat and asked: “Raphael _who_?”

“Oh.” Simon blinked, and added. “Raphael Santiago.”

“Interesting.” Magnus looked thoughtful.

“You know him?”

“I do. I know him very well, actually.” Magnus said. “Turns out it's a small world, Shirley.”

“ _Simon.”_

“It's Shirley now.”

“So, you're, um. Bisexual?” Alec prompted, unsure why this hadn't come up before. Then again, people didn't always wear their sexualities on their sleeve. Maybe it was wrong of Alec to feel so surprised.

“I don't know. It doesn't really need a label.” Simon sunk lower in his seat, tapping at his DS screen. “I'm a person. I like people.”

Alec had to admit: Simon made a whole lot of sense.

* * *

 

The trip was taking a lot longer than it needed to.

Normally, driving from New York City to Lake George would take the Lightwood family about three and a half hours- four, at the most. Except, this time they'd stopped at every pitstop imaginable (despite Robert's protests), and Izzy kept bringing their travels to a halt to take photos of all the scenic spots along the way (Maryse and Clary wanted photos, too, which was the only reason this was allowed).

They were only twenty minutes from arriving at the lakehouse, now, but Alec felt like he'd been driving for too long. The sun was going down. Jace and Simon were napping in the back-seat, the car's engine having lulled them to sleep like children (Alec also suspected that they were exhausted from pretending to hate each other).

Magnus was wide awake and staring out the window.

“You can see the lake, right?” Alec asked, keeping his voice low. “It's really beautiful.”

Magnus made an absent sort of humming noise. “It's...a lot of water.”

“Lakes aren't generally lacking when it comes to water, I've come to find.”

“Ah,” Magnus said softly. “and I never thought I'd find anybody who could sass me.”

“I thought it was a requirement to date you,” Alec smiled. “the sass.”

“That would just make me a man of ridiculously high standards.”

“Aren't you?” Alec received a light shove for this. He laughed under his breath.

“I can see why you love this place.” Magnus murmured, as he observed the passing scenery. The statement had broken their brief, comfortable silence, and it jolted Alec's heart (though he wasn't entirely sure why).

 _Love_. Love was a strong word. But Alec did love the lake. And the sunsets, like the one that was currently bathing Magnus in warm, pinkish light. And…

Alec had to concentrate on driving, before he unintentionally swerved the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! <3
> 
> There might also be a Saphael oneshot (set within this universe like a prequel/side-story thing) coming your way (I ship Sizzy, I really do, but I ship Saphael just as much) (too many ships) (save me).


	15. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The Lightwood family vacation has its traditions._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 15! A bit of fluffy stuff before I get to some of the real issues in the next chapter.  
> Ahem.  
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
>  
> 
> _Song for this chapter: 'Lovesong' by The Cure_

The lakehouse had a porch swing that was practically as old as Alec, himself. It was holding up well, for a nineteen year old piece of wood attached to a rope; it barely protested as Max threw himself onto it. Alec watched as his little brother swung as high as he could. He moved forward to give Max an extra push on the back, every now and then.

“Looks like we're the only ones that are up.” Alec told him, as they both watched the beginnings of the sunrise. Alec normally hated getting up too early, but when they were at the lakehouse, it was a habit. It was almost as if he didn't want to waste a single minute of the day.

“We _did_ all stay up late.” Max said. Alec nodded in agreement.

The night before, when they'd finally arrived at the lakehouse, they'd started up the barbecue as soon as they were able. Jace and Alec had been put in charge of cooking the meat (and one tofu burger, for Simon). Isabelle hadn't been allowed to prepare anything. The mood around the fire had been so great, that they'd all stayed up until midnight, when the fire had finally died out and forced them to go indoors.

“Maybe you should go wake up Magnus.” Max suggested. “You can show him all your favorite places.”

“Not a bad idea, but I'll do that later.” Alec said. “I was thinking we could make breakfast for everyone. Just so Izzy won't be able to do it.”

“Pancakes!” Max exclaimed, pushing his heels into the porch to bring himself to a halt. He jumped down from the swing.

“Pancakes it is.” Alec ruffled Max's hair fondly, and they went inside.

They discovered that they weren't the only ones who were awake; Simon was seated at the kitchen's island, eyes trained on the cellphone in his hands.

“Morning.” Alec greeted. Simon jumped and looked up at them with wide eyes, dropping his phone to the counter.

“Oh,” he relaxed. “I didn't see you there.”

“What are you doing?” Alec asked.

“Just deleting old texts.” Simon shrugged listlessly.

“At six in the morning?”  
“It's as good a time as any.”

Alec couldn't really argue with that, he supposed. “Did you sleep alright?” he asked, opening the fridge to  find the necessary breakfast ingredients. “We haven't had anyone use the guest rooms in ages, so, I was wondering if the beds were okay.” There were two guest bedrooms- Simon and Magnus were occupying each of them. Clary was bunking with Isabelle in her room.

“You kidding? My bed felt like a cloud.” Simon mumbled. He was intent on his cellphone screen, again. Alec wondered what on earth it was about old texts that was distracting Simon so much.

“That's great.” Alec handed the carton of eggs over to Max, who handled the item with care before setting it down on the counter.

“Hey, little dude.” Simon greeted Max.

“Hi. We're making pancakes.”

“Oh, awesome.” Simon tucked his phone into his pocket. “Can I help?”

“Depends.” Max said. “Is your cooking better than Isabelle's?”

“Well, I _can_ make toast without burning it...”

“You're hired.”

* * *

 

The midday sun beat down on Alec, which was a pleasantly warm feeling when he was neck-deep in water. A tidal wave of said water washed over him, then; Jace had just cannon-balled into the lake.

Alec spluttered, shaking water out of his hair. “Jace!”

His brother's head surfaced from underwater. He was grinning like a shark. “Don't complain- you're  wet, anyway.”

“You almost made me swallow half the lake.”

“Oh, boohoo.” Jace swam over to Max, and hoisted the younger boy onto his shoulders. Max yelled out in surprise. “Let's chicken fight.” Jace suggested. He splashed water at Clary to get her attention.

“Hey!” she protested, running her fingers through her frizzing curls.

“Get on Alec's shoulders.” Jace said.

“Me against Max might not be a fair fight.” Clary replied. “He's so tiny.”

“So are you.”

Max wriggled off of Jace's shoulders, threw himself back into the water.

“I've been trying to see how long I can hold my breath underwater.” Max told Jace, matter-of-fact. “I've gotten up to thirty seconds.”

“Want to see who can last longer?” Jace grinned at him. “Bet I can beat you.”

“Nu uh!”

“You'll see.” Jace said, and the two of them immediately submerged themselves in the water.

“Children.” Alec snorted, pulling himself up onto the dock.

"Where are you going?” Clary asked. Alec glanced over his shoulder to see that she was floating on her back.

“Magnus.” Alec said, by way of explanation. He headed to where his boyfriend and Izzy were sunbathing, sprawled out on their respective deck chairs. Alec stood over Magnus.

“You're blocking my sun.” Magnus said idly, lifting his sunglasses to gaze up at Alec.

“Your skin is perfect as is.” Alec responded, meaning it; Magnus's bare torso _was_ always nice to admire. As it was, Alec  had to resist leaning down and kissing the golden, sun-warmed skin.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Magnus said. “Except maybe into my pants.”

“Seriously!” Isabelle exclaimed, as Alec grinned and bent over to kiss Magnus. “Get a room, oh my god.” Izzy went on- but she seemed to be suppressing a laugh. She put her hands over her face when Magnus pulled Alec down by the arm.  
“I'm soaked.” Alec said, settling against Magnus carefully. Magnus murmured a 'don't care' and kissed Alec's chin (he sucked at it a little, for good measure, and Alec shifted so that their bodies weren't aligned a...certain way).

“Since I've got you all wet, now-” Alec said, and rolled his eyes when Magnus snickered. “Grow up.”

“I'm awfully mature, Alexander. I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“ _Anyway_. I've gotten your shorts wet, so you might as well  join us in the lake.” he said. “Come on.”

“Oh, I'm fine over here.” Magnus said lightly. “I really need to get a tan, you know.”

Alec scoffed. “I think you're confusing yourself with me.”

“You have fun with your swimming.” Magnus lowered his sunglasses. “I'm happy to stay on dry land.”

“Suit yourself.” Alec untangled himself from Magnus and got to his feet (but not before Magnus managed to squeeze his ass). He turned to his sister, fighting the blush he could feel lingering beneath the surface. “Iz?”

“I'm going to keep Maggie company.” she said.

“'Maggie'?” Magnus snorted.

“What, you can't have a nickname?”

“You should come up with something sexier. Something manly.”

Isabelle swatted at Magnus's arm with her magazine. “You're ridiculous.”

* * *

 

“Second night at the lakehouse means horror movie night.” Isabelle proclaimed. She was lying on one of the couches with Simon, who was absently braiding her hair (not very well). “What are you guys in the mood for?”

“Not _The Conjuring_.” Alec said. “Just. No.”

“I'll protect you if you get scared.” Magnus cooed, rubbing his hands up and down Alec's arms. Alec rolled his eyes.

“How about _Carrie_?” Clary suggested. She was sitting closer to Jace than she normally would have, but she wouldn't look up from her sketchbook. It was as if she didn't want to admit that she was actually sitting next to him.

“Not scary enough.” Izzy pursed her lips. “Let's watch...”

“Just put _The Blair Witch Project_ on, Isabelle. You always do.” Jace said.

“Well, since you've twisted my arm.” Isabelle grinned.

“I'm going to make popcorn.” Alec announced, getting up from the couch. As he left the room, he heard his boyfriend say something to the others. Magnus followed him into the kitchen shortly after.

“I didn't need supervision,” Alec looked over his shoulder and smiled, “it's just microwave popcorn.”

“I would've missed you too much.” Magnus came up behind Alec and wrapped his arms around his middle, as Alec set the time on the microwave.

“Mhm.” Alec leaned into him, watching the popcorn revolve inside the microwave and steadily rise. Soft lips pressed to the back of his neck.

“We should make out.” Magnus murmured. “It's been, like, two days since the last time.”

“Magnus, my siblings are in the next room.”

“That kind of makes it all the more fun, doesn't it?”

Alec considered it; it was out of the blue, but, he _did_ love Magnus's spontaneity. And who cared if anyone walked in on them? They were allowed to _kiss_. “I suppose...”

That was all the confirmation Magnus needed. He turned Alec to face him and kissed him deep- Alec's response was instantaneous, instinctual. He leaned into Magnus and breathed him in, pressing their bodies closer together as Magnus prompted his lips to part for him. Magnus teased Alec's tongue with his own, sucked at it. Alec made an appreciative noise against his mouth- he forgot about the others in the room next door, forgot about what he was supposed to be doing. Everything was Magnus- his taste, the grip he had on Alec's hips. It was just so easy for Alec to lose track of absolutely everything when he was with Magnus.

They ended up burning the popcorn.

* * *

 

”We're nearly there.” Alec stopped at the top of a steep incline, turning to speak to the rest of the group. Jace was right behind him; he was having no trouble keeping up. The others, however, were struggling, and being very vocal about it.

“I think I can taste blood.” Simon coughed and pulled a face. He doubled over to clutch at his side, muttering about a stitch. Izzy rubbed circles on his back.

“We're not used to exerting ourselves for _this_ long.” Clary said. She fanned her red face, exhaling slowly. “My legs feel like jelly.”

“Agreed.” Magnus said. He was in the process of pouring water over his head (which messed up his meticulous hair). Alec reached out and stopped him, taking the bottle from his hands.

“We'll be there soon.” he said. “We can't stop now.”

“You are freakishly fit.” Magnus shook his head stubbornly. “We need a break.”

“Who suggested hiking, again?” Simon complained.

“This is another thing we do, every year.” Isabelle explained. “We hike to our favorite camping spot and spend the night there. Jace, Alec and I, that is.”

“And you couldn't have chosen a closer camping spot?” Clary asked.

“Oh, stop complaining. Come on,” Jace stood in front of Clary, “get on my back.” he ordered.  
Clary hesitated, before clambering onto Jace's back and holding onto him awkwardly. Simon looked over at Alec.

“Don't suppose you'd carry me on your back?” he said, sounding hopeful.

“That is not happening.”

* * *

 

Alec slumped down in front of the fire, exhausted from setting up the tents with Jace. It was already dark, and the fire was the only source of illumination; it was casting a warm glow over the group, which brought out the angular shadows in their faces.

“What took you boys so long?” Izzy asked them, gaze fixed on the marshmallow she was roasting. She pulled the stick back from the fire and pulled at the gooey confection with two of her fingers.

“We had to set up the tents alone,” Alec raised an eyebrow. “That takes time.”

“Don't complain- you wouldn't _let_ us help.” Magnus said. “You two are such perfectionists.”

“The pegs have to be hammered a very certain way, okay?”

“I get that. I have to be hammered a certain way, too.”

“God, Magnus.” Alec ran his hands over his face, but he laughed.

“So, what are we doing?” Jace settled on the ground next to Clary and Izzy. “And if you suggest campfire songs, I _will_ break Simon's guitar.”

“Hey!” Simon frowned.

“We could tell ghost stories or play truth or dare, maybe.” Isabelle said.

“What are we, twelve?” Jace rolled his eyes. “Let's play strip poker or something.”

“No.” Alec said flatly.

“I brought cards-”

“I know! We can play 'Never Have I Ever'.” Isabelle tucked her hair behind her ears as she spoke. “We all know how that works, right?”

“Yeah, but we didn't bring any alcohol.” Alec said. “So we'll have to do the finger version.”

Izzy nodded in agreement. “First person that has all five fingers down, has to...”

“Complete a dare of our choice.” Simon shrugged.  
“Good idea.” Isabelle cleared her throat and sat up straighter, holding up one of her hands. “Fingers up, everyone.”

“I feel like a teenager again.” Magnus raised his left hand, looking amused.

“You make it sound like you're old.” Alec said.  
“Oh, but I _am_.” Magnus sighed. “Twenty-one is tragically ancient.”

“ _Right_.”

“I'll start.” Izzy said. “Never have I ever… had sex with someone ten years older than me.”

Trust Isabelle to come up with something sexual; Alec knew that everyone else was likely to follow that route, too. He glanced around the group- everybody still had five fingers up.

“Impressive.” Izzy nodded, and elbowed Clary. “Your turn.”

“Oh.” Clary thought about it. “Never have I ever...had sex in a bathroom.”

There was a hesitation. Eventually, Simon, Jace and Magnus each lowered a digit.

“Really?” Alec raised an eyebrow at all of them.

“We're not obligated to explain ourselves.” Jace said. “That rule only applies when there's one person that-”

“Yeah, okay, relax. It's your turn.”

“Never have I ever been in handcuffs.” Jace stated.

This time, only Simon lowered a finger.

“Do we want to know?” Isabelle seemed amused.

“Well, let's just say I've never been arrested.” Simon shifted uncomfortably. “Anyway. Never have I ever, um. Had sex in a friend's bed.”

Isabelle, as well as Magnus, put down a finger each. Alec winced at the idea of his little sister even _having_ sex; Izzy picked up on this.

“Sorry, big brother.”

Alec nodded. He and Clary were the only ones that still had five fingers up, which seemed a little odd. He tried to think of something Clary might have done, before carefully formulating his reply.

“Never have I ever pretended to hate someone.”

As he'd suspected, Clary curled one of her fingers into her palm. Simon and Jace did the same.

“The truth comes out.” Alec laughed under his breath.

“Would it kill you to come up with something sexual, Alec?” Izzy tutted. “Don't be boring.”

“Alec doesn't need to be sexual- that's what he has me for.” Magnus said smoothly. Then: “Never have I ever,” he paused for effect, “slept with someone within an hour of meeting them.”

Apparently, no one in the group _had_ ever done such a thing. Everyone's fingers stayed up.

“What a good little bunch of boys and girls you are.” Magnus practically cooed.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Never have I ever... taken someone's virginity.”

Jace and Magnus were the ones to put fingers down, this time around.

“Knew it.” Isabelle said.  
“My turn?” Clary sat up straighter. “Never have I ever, fantasized about anyone here.”

Alec's face suddenly got a lot warmer; he hesitantly lowered his first finger for the night. He noticed that everyone else (except Clary) had done so, as well.

“Thought this would be the case.” Clary sounded smug.

Magnus elbowed Alec gently- Alec looked up to see that he was grinning.

“I sincerely hope it's _me_ you fantasize about.” he said.

“No,” Alec poured all his sarcasm into his voice, “it's Simon.”

“You joke, but I could probably rock your world.” Simon pitched in.

“Oh my god, Simon.”

Simon snickered and carried on with the game: “Never have I ever flashed someone.”

Isabelle lowered her middle finger. Alec stared at her.

“I'm sorry!” she exclaimed. “But, I had to-”

“No you didn't.” Alec spluttered. “No- under what circumstances do you _have to flash-_ ”

“Moving on.” Magnus cut them off.

“Fine. Um.” Alec calmed himself and thought for a minute. Simon, Jace and Magnus were each one finger away from losing. He needed to come up with something that at least one of them would have to own up to.

“Never have I ever,” he started, “crushed on my seventh grade teacher so hard that I wrote her a love poem.”  
“That's not fair- you aimed that at me, specifically!” Jace glared at him.

“Is there a rule that says I can't do that?” Alec said. “I play to win, Jace.”

Grudgingly, Jace lowered his fifth finger.

“You're kind of hot when you get competitive.” Magnus slipped Alec a wink.

“Thank you.” Alec nodded appreciatively. He turned to his brother. “Okay, Jace. I dare you to stop being an idiot and just ask Clary out. She likes you, you like her. Stop doing whatever...this is.” He was being blunt, and he really didn't care.

Clary's face went a light shade of pink, and she ducked her head to stare at her feet. Jace's eyes just got wider. “Alec-”

“You're welcome.”

* * *

 

“Magnus,” Alec shook at his boyfriend's shoulder gently, whispering right next to his ear. “ _Magnus_.”

“Mrnglf.”

Alec sighed and bit down on Magnus's earlobe gently; Magnus opened his eyes, suddenly _very_ awake.

“I'm up.” Magnus rolled onto his back, his sleeping bag rustling with the movement. He reached up to pull Alec into a kiss, but Alec pulled back.

“I want to show you something.” he said.

* * *

 

“There's this place,” Alec explained, as he lead Magnus through a small grove of trees. “that I love going to at night, when we're up here. I just wanted to show you what it's like.”

Magnus squeezed Alec's hand. “I'm excited.”

“Here we are.” They came to a stop in front of a long, winding stream that cut through the forest. They walked along the bank until the stream widened into more of a natural spring, deep enough to swim in. The water was dark, and calm, and reflecting the moonlight brilliantly.

“It's great, huh?” Alec said.

“Sure.” was all Magnus said, in reply.

“How about it?” Alec started taking off his shirt. “The water's normally a great temperature.”

“Oh, no, we really don't have to-”  
“Come on, I want to.” Alec smiled, threw his shirt aside. “It's really relaxing, trust me.”

“Alec...”

He held his hand out, towards Magnus. “It's not that cold, I swear.”

“Alec,” Magnus closed his eyes, breathed out slowly. “I can't swim.”

 _Oh_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all! <3
> 
> I made a [poll](https://www.wedgies.com/question/571bee08ef394c1e00cefdaa) where you can vote on what you'd like to see me write next. I'd love it if you guys voted- because I really want to see what kind of oneshot you'd like to read next!


	16. I'm a Mess, You're a Work of Art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I finally finished this chapter. I'm so sorry this took so long (it feels like it did, anyway)!  
> I hope I did this justice. Alsoooo, there's some sexual content in this one.  
> Enjoy!

Alec couldn't go a day of his life without wishing that it was simpler; that people were easier to understand. If human nature was an easy concept, maybe then he'd know how to react to certain situations. How people felt, how people thought. How _he_ felt. Maybe then, he wouldn't feel so socially inept. Other than his siblings, there weren't many people he'd gotten along with in his life. Other people were unpredictable. Something always tended to go wrong.

Case in point: his first real friend was in the second grade. Her name was Janey, and she lived next door, and his parents liked her parents and that's how friends were made back then.

Alec enjoyed spending time with her well enough. She liked _The Magic School Bus_ too, so they'd watch that together and eat oat cookies. Alec would explain things Janey didn't understand, and she'd listen to him, absolutely enraptured. Alec loved it.

Then Alec, in a lapse of common sense (which, honestly, wasn't all that uncommon for an eight year old), had informed Janey that Santa Clause wasn't real. He'd received a slap in the face, and Janey stopped coming over. He'd shrugged it off as a girl thing. He found them strange creatures, at the time.

His second ever 'best friend' was made in the seventh grade. Clive was a really cool guy, in Alec's opinion; they took both archery and kendo class together. Then Alec broke Clive's nose in a kendo competition, and the two boys never spoke to each other again. Alec really didn't understand it.

Soon after that, in eighth grade, he'd made fast friends with Peter. They'd sat next to each other in AP Calculus and it really wasn't that difficult to get along. But somewhere in the year, Peter started dating a pretty girl. She had dark hair and braces and was sort of a rebel. Peter started spending less time with Alec, even began skipping class just to see his girlfriend. Alec had been consumed by a jealousy (for which party, he did not know) that he was extremely unfamiliar with. It made him uncomfortable. And so he ended that friendship, himself, purely for the sake of his emotional well-being.

Never had he thought he'd go out of his way to get to know someone like Magnus.

Magnus, who was out-there and confident and mysterious and secretive and sensual and a thousand other adjectives Alec had thought of _so many times_. Magnus, who was everything Alec was not. It didn't seem possible that Alec could understand someone like him, but if he was being honest, it came more naturally than he'd thought. Even though Magnus still posed a bit of a challenge; nothing ever _was_ completely easy, after all.

But Alec was starting to love that.

* * *

_Song for this section: 'Mirror' by Kat Dahlia_

 

“I can't swim.”

Alec had to think for a fair few minutes, about how to respond to this. His mind whirred; however perfect his boyfriend was, in his eyes- _Magnus was still human._ There were times Alec forgot that.

“That's all right.” he started, slowly. He felt hesitant. “There's nothing wrong with not being able to...”

“No, I know.” Magnus shook his head impatiently. “You don't have to tell me.”

“Okay,” Alec was starting to feel guilty. “I'm sorry for pushing. If I'd known-”

“You don't have to apologize either, Alexander. Really, it's...” Magnus trailed off, his brow drawing together in a conflicted frown. Alec wasn't used to seeing this sort of expression in Magnus.

“I should probably tell you.” he said.

“Tell me what?” Alec kept his voice soft; he didn't want to push Magnus, didn't want him to feel pressured. If Magnus was finally willing to open up, Alec didn't want to ruin it.

“There's a reason I can't swim.” Magnus said, eventually. “It's just that, I... I was too _scared_ to, for so long.”

“You're hydrophobic?” Alec asked. He had Magnus's hands in his, now, and he was moving his thumbs over Magnus's in small circles. He wasn't sure when he'd started doing it.

“I suppose you can call it that, but there's more to it.” Magnus's green eyes were downcast. “You know...that I never talk about my family.”

Alec didn't say anything; he simply nodded.

“When I was ten, um, my mom...she, well.” Magnus cleared his throat. Whatever he was trying to say was clearly hard for him. Alec wasn't entirely sure what to do. He settled for moving his hands up and down Magnus's arms, offering him quiet reassurance.

“My father found out that I wasn't....actually _his_ son. I'm not sure how. And my mom...she killed herself, shortly after.” Magnus went on. Alec sucked in a breath- whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been _that_. “My father blamed me. He tried to drown me. Held my head under the water for- for what felt like years. It burnt my lungs and everything started fading out. I thought I was going to die. If someone hadn't seen us...” Magnus's voice shook, just slightly. “So that's why...yeah.”

“Magnus...” Alec started, “I'm so sorry- you didn't deserve that. I can't imagine...”

Magnus pulled away, fractionally. “This is why I don't usually tell people.” Magnus forced a weak smile, lifted his eyes to Alec's. “I don't want pity.”

Alec shook his head vehemently. “I don't pity you. I admire you.”

“Alec-”

“No, Magnus, listen.” Alec said. He wasn't sure if he was saying the right thing, but he _wanted_ Magnus to know what was on his mind. “What you went through was horrific. If that had happened to me, I probably would've fallen apart. But you're just… you're so confident, and strong, and you make my world...brighter, every single day. I hope that… well. I want to do the same for you.

“And I love you.”

Magnus stared at him, and his gaze was shocked. There was a burning behind Alec's eyes, a wetness on his cheeks. With a detached sort-of surprise, Alec lifted a hand to his face and realized he was crying. He scrubbed at the tears with the heel of his hand.

“I'm sorry, Magnus, I just-” _I'm horrified that something like that happened to you,_ he wanted to say. _You're too lovely for the world to have been so cruel. I'm replaying your scenario in my head; I would have been ragged._ _B_ _roken._ _Irreparable._ _I would've needed you more than I already do. I need you. I love you._

“I love you,” he ended up repeating aloud, “I really do. And I'm so grateful that you opened up to me about this- I-I want you to know you can tell me _anything-”_

Magnus silenced him with a kiss. A firm press press of the lips, a reassurance. Alec tasted the saltiness of his own tears as their lips moved together; bruising, yet somehow tender. Magnus pulled away with an uneven breath.

“Stupid Alexander,” he murmured, “I love you. _God_ , do I love you.” his eyes were shining, too. Alec reached up and caught a stray tear with his thumb. He kissed at Magnus's lower lip.

“You do?” his voice trembled.

“Yes.” he felt Magnus's lips tug upwards. “I'll say it every day, if you need me to.”

“I just might.”

“Never thought you'd love affection so much.” Magnus nuzzled his face into Alec's neck.

“Neither did I, actually.” Alec's fingers slid through Magnus's hair. The tears were gone, the tension had evaporated; they were simply absorbing one another's presence, now. Alec could have easily stayed that way for the rest of the night: just holding Magnus, feeling the warmth in the proximity.

“Should we go back?”

“Yeah.” reluctantly, Alec broke their embrace to retrieve his shirt.

“Alexander.” Magnus's voice was soft. “Thank you for...being so patient with me. I know I should have told you this kind of thing a while ago, but it's not entirely easy-”

“I understand.” Alec said, comfortingly. Or tried to- his words were slightly muffled and incoherent as he pulled his shirt on over his head. When he looked at Magnus again, he was smiling.

“You're too good for me, you know that?”

“I say the same thing about you, every day.”

* * *

 

When they got back to the campsite, they discovered Clary leaving Jace's tent, hair tousled in an extremely tell-tale fashion. She started sneaking back to her own tent; nearly tripped over her own feet when she saw Magnus and Alec.

“Ohhhh, hey.” she whispered, hands tugging at her bedhead. “Why are you guys up?”

“Got some action, did you?” Magnus smirked. Alec chuckled and leaned into Magnus's side, watching as Clary's face flushed a deep red.

“I, uh,” she shifted awkwardly, eyes trained on the ground. “Maybe?”

“That's great.” Alec said, and found that he honestly meant it. He _had_ suggested they get together, after all. He wasn't too surprised that they'd acted on his 'dare'. “We're happy for you.”

Clary lifted her eyes to theirs. “You two are a 'we', now?” she grinned.

“Yes, and _we're_ about to get some action, too.” Magnus started tugging Alec away. “ _We'll_ see you in the morning.”

“Sleep well,” Clary said, “Or...don't, I guess.”

“Thanks-” Alec managed to say, before he was yanked into the tent.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'House of Memories' by Panic! At the Disco_

 

Alec came to learn that 'I love you' could be quite the effective turn-on.

He and Magnus had barely taken two steps into the tent before Magnus's hands were all over him, grasping, seeking.

The undressing was a blur. Shirts were thrown aside (Alec's shirt might have been ripped- he wasn't sure, and he didn't care), pants were pushed to the floor. Next thing he knew, he had the sleeping bag under his back and Magnus on top of him; the synthetic material pressing to his back rustled with their movements. The sound of it might have ruined the mood if Alec hadn't been _incredibly distracted_ by the heat of Magnus's erection pressing against his hip.

“Mm,” Alec's hands roamed down a smooth expanse of golden-brown skin as Magnus kissed at his neck. He bit down, and Alec almost asked him to do it harder; he wanted that bruise. He wanted everyone to see what Magnus could do to him. He rolled his hips, let out a small gasp as his cock brushed against Magnus's. When had they discarded their underwear? And it wasn't a big deal, not really, because Magnus has seen Alec naked before and Magnus has no qualms about his own body- but, god, Alec couldn't stop admiring how _completely beautiful_ the entirety of Magnus's naked body actually was.

“More, baby?” Magnus murmured, rocking his hips with a little more co-ordination. Alec keened and curled his fingers against his boyfriend's back.

“Yeah.” Alec managed to breathe out before Magnus kissed him, and it was rough and heated and Alec felt he could finish just from Magnus _sucking on his tongue like that_ , goddamn-

One of Magnus's hands had found its way to Alec's chest. He teased one of the nipples; rubbed his thumb in small circles before pinching lightly. Alec's back arched, and he broke the sloppy kiss with a gasp.

“ _Yeah_ ,” he rutted against Magnus a little more desperately, seeking more friction, something _more. “Magnus.”_

“That's it.” Magnus ran his tongue along the bruise that stood out on Alec's pale neck, and slid his hand down to touch Alec. He curled his warm hand around Alec's shaft, used his thumb to smear pre-cum from the tip. “Tell me how much you like it.” he murmured.

“ _God_ , Magnus-”

“I want this inside of me, you know.” Magnus informed him, and his voice was husky and low and needing. Alec felt like he could have melted from sensory overload.

“Um-” he choked out, his hips jerking and fucking into Magnus's grip as if of their own accord. And he can't help but imagine how amazing it might feel to have something _tighter_ wrapped around him, something hotter-

“Next time.” Magnus said, like it was a promise. “When we aren't in the middle of nowhere.”

“O-okay.” Alec didn't feel capable of processing that just yet. He needed to focus on the immediate situation. “Get back here.” He gripped Magnus's hips, pulled him a little closer. He liked the feel of Magnus's bare cock against his own. He shifted his legs to fall open around Magnus's hips, so their groins could be brought flush together.

“You like this, do you?” Magnus purred. Somehow, he always seemed to know exactly what was running through Alec's mind. Was he really that easy to read?

“Mn,” Alec agreed absently, mind too occupied to properly respond. Magnus had started to move again, sliding their cocks together. Everything was a little too hot, a little too dry in the absence of any actual lube- but Alec was lost in a haze of pleasure. Mindlessly, Alec thrust against Magnus like he imagined he'd do buried deep inside of him, how he'd rock into Magnus, drive him into the sheets-

His orgasm was a wave of pleasure, an electric current running down his spine. He slid a hand between them, gripped Magnus's dick. He stroked the heavy, hard shaft in restless movements; what felt like a second later, Magnus came against Alec's stomach with a low groan.

“God,” Magnus exhaled in a breathless chuckle and rolled off of Alec- who didn't let him get very far. Alec wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist, curled his body into his side. “We've made a mess.”

“That sounds like a problem for future us.” Alec said.

“Mhm.”

“I want to, you know.” Alec murmured, after a minute or so of silence. “I want what...you mentioned, earlier.”

“Hm?” Magnus, apparently, had been falling asleep; he opened his eyes and regarded Alec with a tired, curious gaze. “You do?”

“Of course.” Alec wet his lower lip with his tongue. The post-orgasm cloud had lifted from his brain, and the nerves were setting in. “I feel ready.”

Magnus smiled and pressed a kiss to Alec's forehead. He kept his lips there, inhaled deeply.

“Okay,” was all he said, like he knew that Alec didn't want him to make a huge deal about it.

It didn't take them long to fall asleep, after that.

* * *

 

“You didn't even wear half of this stuff.” Alec complained, as he jerked the heavy suitcase up the stairs to Magnus's apartment. Magnus stood at the top of the stairs, arms folded against his brilliantly chartreuse shirt. Alec had insisted on carrying Magnus's luggage from the car, like the gentleman he felt he was.

“I needed back-ups.” Magnus said.

“Right.”

“If you were going to complain, I'd have just carried it myself-”

“Shut up.” Alec pecked Magnus on the lips when he reached him. Magnus rolled his eyes and unlocked the apartment door, pushing against it before they made their way inside.

They'd just crossed the threshold when Magnus stopped in his tracks; Alec grunted a complaint when he walked right into him. He opened his mouth to ask what the problem was- but then he _saw_ the problem. There was a woman in the living room who Alec didn't recognize. Judging by Magnus's reaction, she clearly wasn't meant to be there.

“Hello.” the woman greeted him, and her smile indicated that she was clearly amused by his confusion. Alec tried to think how to respond. 'Who are you' seemed like a good way to start.

“Why,” Magnus was the one who finally spoke; his words were almost strangled. “Why are you here, Camille?”

At those words, Alec felt his world grind to a very unwelcome halt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.  
> I love you all! <3


	17. Bourbon Burns the Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _, but it leaves a bitter taste._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.  
>  _I'm sorry._
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains idiotically emotional boys who love each other but honestly ugh. Also, I switch between character POV's for the first time, here.

_Song for this section: 'Shiver' by Maroon 5_

 

 _Camille_. The last person on earth he'd ever wanted to meet; he hated just hearing about her. Magnus had long-since learnt that, if Camille was brought up in conversation, Alec immediately distanced himself. He didn't want to hear things about her. He didn't want to know what she'd done, or how she'd treated Magnus, or how he'd treated her.

And now she was there, in the scarily pale, flawless flesh.

“Is that any way to greet me?” Camille's voice seemed a constant purr. She approached them, surprisingly graceful in six inch heels. The way she walked, and the glitter in her dark eyes, reminded Alec of something predatory.

“Finally here to give your key back, are you?” Magnus said. He thrust his hand outwards, expectant. Alec had never heard Magnus sound so hostile and blunt towards _anyone._

Camille dangled a key over Magnus's open palm, like she was about to hand it over. Then she cocked her head and curled the key back into her own fist.

“I'm finally back in town,” she was pouting, “where's the welcome? Didn't you miss me?”

“I think you should go.” Alec spoke up, kept his voice steady and commanding.

“Hm, no,” Camille said. “I think I'll stay. I mean, I do _own_ half of the place, so I'm kind of entitled to. Don't you think?”

The atmosphere in the apartment suddenly went icy. Alec imagined his words shattering the frozen air as he said, “ _What_.”

“Alexander, a word.” Magnus's hand was on his arm, pulling insistently. “You- stay here.” Magnus said to Camille, before pulling Alec from the room. They ended up in the kitchen; Alec wasn't sure it was the best room to have a private conversation, but he wasn't in any frame of mind to bring that up.

“What the hell is she talking about, Magnus?” The first words out of Alec's mouth sounded slightly more accusatory than he'd intended.

“She…” Magnus sighed, crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against a kitchen counter. “It's true. We bought this place together, a few years ago.”

“And you never thought to _tell me this?”_ Alec's voice hitched, and he worried he was bordering on hysteria.

“Alec, you never want to talk about her-”

“This seems like an important detail to just keep from me, Magnus.”

“It's a tenants in common agreement. I own most of the place, but...” Magnus explained, and Alec could see that he was doing his very best to stay calm. “And we didn't exactly part on good terms. She refuses to sell her share of the apartment to me.”

“So she has a key, and she can just come and go as she pleases.” Alec said. “Great. That's...great.”

“It was never a problem before. She's been living in LA-”

“Oh, oh, she lives in _LA_.” Alec wasn't sure he could sound more sarcastic if he tried. “I'm sorry, I didn't realize. That makes _everything_ better.”

Magnus looked affronted. “Alexander-”

“Don't.” Alec had a horrible paining in his chest; he felt hurt, and he wanted Magnus to know that. “You lied to me.”

“I didn't lie about anything.”

“You didn't tell me. That's the same thing, Magnus!”

“I can't...” Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing at it with his knuckles. “I really don't feel up to dealing with whatever unjustified mistrust you have in me, Alec. Not right now.”

Alec frowned. “That's not-”  
“That's _exactly_ what this is.” Magnus looked tired. His eyes were dull; to Alec, it almost looked as if Magnus had just aged a decade. “If you can't trust me or handle the fact that my ex is around, I think we need to take a break. Just while she's in town- so I can sort things out with her.”

“A break?” Alec's voice wavered. A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I don't like that she's going to be here, Magnus.”

“I know. But I can't do anything about it. Not yet.”

“A break.” Alec repeated. “Fine. Okay.”

Magnus nodded stiffly. He wouldn't look up at Alec, but Alec could tell that he was hurt. He knew what it felt like.

Alec didn't say goodbye. He didn't say anything. He refused to say a word as he left the apartment; he didn't even flinch when Camille called after him:

“Come back soon, baby boy!”

* * *

 

Alec spent a disgustingly large amount of time in the shower later that day. It felt cliché, honestly, standing under the water for what felt like hours, letting the warmth run over his face, down his neck, drum against his chest and back. He didn't care. It was helping.

He blinked against the droplets of water sticking to his eyelashes when he heard the door creak open. Through the fogged-up shower glass, he could just make out a mess of dark hair and not much else. His sister was peeking into the bathroom, poking her head around the door.

“You're going to use up all the hot water.” she informed him.

“Get out.”

Isabelle did not get out. In fact, she had the audacity to sidle into the bathroom and perch herself on the toilet seat. At least she closed the door behind her.

“I'm serious, Isabelle. I'm not in the mood.”

“Clearly.” Isabelle's voice was muffled to Alec's ears, drowned out by the running water. “What happened? Magnus put glitter in your hair again?”

“No. Though, I do have some glitter on my arm that I can't _fucking seem to get off_.” Alec scrubbed at the offensive line of glitter in question, lathering soap over his forearm for the thousandth time in an hour. “I don't understand how this shit gets everywhere.”

“Alec...” He imagined that Isabelle was frowning. Alec didn't swear often; his siblings knew that when he did, it was only because he was _beyond_ a simple 'bad mood'.

Alec shut the water off with a jerk of his wrist. “I think Magnus and I broke up.”

“ _What_?” Isabelle's voice rose in pitch. “Wait. You 'think'?”

Alec stepped out of the shower, grabbed for his towel. Izzy's eyes were politely raised to the ceiling as Alec covered himself.

“We're 'taking a break'.” Alec scowled.

“But...why?” Isabelle's dark eyes met his. She looked almost as heartbroken as Alec felt. “I thought things were going so well.”

“They were. And then his ex showed up.” Alec said.

“And where's the problem?”

“He says that I don't trust him. But,” Alec made a frustrated noise, something akin to a grunt, “can you blame me? I found out that the ex basically owns half of Magnus's place, and he didn't even tell me. He never wants to tell the whole truth, Iz. He deflects, he avoids the past, he-”

“But...didn't he finally open up to you about his family?” Isabelle, of course, knew about this. Alec couldn't keep things from his own sister.

“Yes,” Alec admitted, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest, “but I can't handle the fact that he's still not letting me in completely. _Clearly_ there's so much I still don't know.”

“'The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it'.” Isabelle said, reiterating a line from one of her favorite books.

“Don't quote things at me.”

“I don't see why his past has to affect your relationship so much.”

“Because, the _past_ has a nasty habit of bringing up things like an ex-girlfriend that is now living in Magnus's apartment- _indefinitely_.” Alec said; the words tasted bitter on his tongue. “ _The past_ is a vicious bitch.”

“You're an idiot. You're both idiots.” Isabelle sighed and rose to her feet. “This break better not last long."

Unfortunately, Alec had the horrible feeling that he had no say in how long 'the break' would last.

* * *

 

 _Song for this section: 'Ugly Cherries' by PWR BTTM_  


Magnus kept a bottle of single barrel bourbon that he didn't bring out unless it was absolutely needed; post-funeral, for instance, was a situation that called for the particular whiskey. Death was reason enough to drown one's sorrows in unreasonably expensive spirits. That, or the disappearance of one's cat.

So it was particularly difficult for Magnus to come up with an excuse as to why he was sipping at a glass of whiskey- neat- at two in the afternoon, when there were no funerals to attend and Chairman Meow was purring contentedly in his lap. He raked the fingers of his free hand through his cat's fur absently, while his other hand raised the glass to his lips. He kept the alcohol suspended in his mouth for a few seconds, enjoying the burn, before swallowing hard.

“Is this the time to get drunk?” His companion asked.

“Always.” Magnus replied idly. He wasn't even in the right frame of mind to come up with a particularly witty or well-structured retort; that would require effort, something he'd been avoiding for days on end.

He hadn't seen Alec for two long weeks. How long was their break going to take?

When Magnus asked himself this question, he realized that their relationship's indefinite _hiatus_ and when it would end was largely dependant on him. That's when he would knock back another drink of whiskey, or whatever else was at hand.

“ _Dios_ , you are pathetic.” Raphael muttered, and Magnus looked up to see that his friend was relocating the (nearly empty) bottle of spirits to a decorative end table on the other side of the room. Far away from Magnus.

“Give that back.”

“No. Stop being a child.”

Magnus sighed and sunk lower in his armchair. His silk dressing gown started slipping off his left shoulder, but he didn't feel inclined to readjust it. He hummed and tapped a blue fingernail against his glass.

“Do you ever miss Simon?” he asked.

Magnus wasn't sure Raphael's posture could get more rigid- but, somehow, he managed it. “Excuse me?”

“Thanks for telling me you dated him, by the way.” Magnus drawled. “I had to find out from _him_.”

“I...I didn't realize you knew him.”

“Answer the question.” Magnus propped his feet up on the coffee table. Chairman Meow jumped with the movement and leaped to the floor, complaining on the way down.

“Simon...” Raphael took a seat again, the corner of his mouth curling into a grimace. “That's a... touchy subject-”

“Raphael.”

“I do. I do miss him.” Raphael practically grumbled, reluctant. “We didn't part on the best of terms.”

“So you know how I feel.” Magnus announced.

Raphael regarded him with careful, analysing eyes. Magnus had always found Raphael's gaze to be rather cold and calculating, as if he trusted no one on principle and always judged others like it was his right to do so.

“No, this is different.” Raphael said. “Whatever you have with Alec is not over, I'm sure.”

“I hope you're right.” Magnus rubbed at his forehead. A headache was pressing against his skull. “How exactly did it end with Simon?”

“'End' is a very...final word, isn't it?”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, there's definitely more to this.”

“Another time, perhaps.” Raphael glanced at his phone, lifted himself from the couch. “Right now, I have to leave before your _roommate_ gets back.” his lips pulled back from his teeth in a snarl.

“Wow, you hate her so much.”  
“So do you.” Raphael said, and then he smirked as if a sudden thought had delighted him. “Have fun with your hangover.”

“Mnnngh,” Magnus groaned and ran his hands over his face, listening to the sound of Raphael letting himself out of the apartment.

He promptly fell into a too-deep sleep, seconds later.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Blue' by Troye Sivan_

 

Magnus woke to the scent of perfume in his nose; it was too strong, and too close, and it wasn't a scent that he was entirely familiar with.

Reluctantly, he forced his eyes open; Camille was leaning over him and invading his personal space, which he was _not_ in the mood for.

“Go away.” he mumbled, barely coherent.

“You reek of booze.” Camille informed him (as if he didn't already know). “Missing someone, are you?”

“Can you...not.” He needed Camille to disappear. Preferably for good. He wished he had the ability to wave his hand and reduce her to smoke, or something along those lines. He wished for it dearly.

“Magnus...” Camille crooned, in the unnaturally sweet voice that always made Magnus flinch. “You don't need him. Look at you- he's made you a mess. And does he care? Probably not.”

“Don't.”

“You know you miss me.”

“Do. Not. Camille, I-”  
“Admit it.” Camille's hands were on his shoulders, pushing his dressing gown aside, rubbing at his bare skin. “You're nothing without me. You need me back.”

Magnus winced and shut his eyes. He didn't need this. He didn't need a reminder- or a repeat, for that matter- of the past he so desperately avoided. And that was the problem, wasn't it? The past.

God, he needed Alexander back. He could barely make sense of his own thoughts, anymore.

He clenched his jaw. When he opened his eyes, he met Camille's gaze with a vehement glare.

“Get out. Don't come back.”

“You can't say that-”

“I can.” Magnus said. “I'm buying out your share of this place. I'll find a way. You are not going to _lord this over me anymore_.”

Camille looked beyond shocked. “Magnus-”

“Are you stupid?” Magnus got to his feet rather suddenly, startling Camille backwards. “I told you to get out.”

“But...” He knew what was going through her mind. She had always been so capable of manipulating Magnus, of exerting control over him. He'd never fought back before; not like he was doing now.

Magnus poured all of his hatred- his loathing, his frustration- into one word: “Leave.”

Camille left.

* * *

 

After three weeks, Alec couldn't stand it anymore.

He found himself outside of Magnus's apartment, staring at the front door like it might make the decision for him. His heart hammered into his ribcage. He tasted something acrid in his throat.

He wasn't sure if he was there to apologize, to beg Magnus for whatever was going on to end. He wasn't sure if he was there to simply return the key, to say goodbye.

It all depended, really.

Alec knocked.

The door was pulled open seven minutes later (Alec was counting), which seemed a very delayed reaction- but this thought immediately flew from Alec's mind as soon as he laid eyes on Magnus.

Magnus looked like he'd forgone important things like eating and sleeping and beauty routines. His appearance reflected Alec's own; tired, forlorn, conflicted. Magnus's eyes met Alec's, dim with exhaustion- or as if he was dazed by the mere sight of the person on his doorstep.

“I'm sorry.” The words fled Alec's lips, and he didn't regret them. “I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I miss y-”

Magnus gripped Alec by the sweater and yanked him in for a kiss. They stumbled over the threshold, lips moving together feverishly.

Alec had the sudden, most bizarre sense of deja vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortest breakup ever, amirite?  
> *sweats nervously*  
> This had to happen. Broke my heart to write it, but yeah. Trials make a relationship stronger, soo.  
> Forgive me?


	18. Thinking Too Much, Thoughts Get Loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever- I am so so sorry. I've had a hectic month. University workload is nothing to sneeze at.  
> Thanks to all my readers <3 800 kudos, skfjfjjgksfgj. I love all of you guys, and I'm sorry I made you wait this long.

_Song for this section: 'Smoke and Mirrors' by Imagine Dragons_

 

They lay together on the bed, in a quiet, easy embrace. Alec ran his hand along Magnus's side, rucking the material of his shirt with his knuckles. Magnus's eyes were roaming over Alec's face. It looked as if he was drinking in the sight of him. He swept his tongue over his swollen lower lip. They'd kissed each other for what felt like hours, and were finally taking a much-needed break to breathe, and, well, talk things through.

“We should...” Alec's eyebrows lowered, and he sighed.

“Talk? I agree.” Magnus said.

“The way I acted,” Alec started, “I guess it's because I'm not used to this.”

“Alexander, you really need to learn to be more specific. 'This'?” Magnus prompted.

“Having a boyfriend. One that's _so_ clearly out of my league.”Alec chuckled humourlessly. He felt like he'd used a very similar excuse before. “I get jealous too easily.”

“So, you were jealous of Camille.”

“Exactly.” Alec bit his lip. “I need to ask you something. It's going to sound bad, but, it's killing me not knowing.”

“Go on.”

“While Camille was here- did anything...I mean… did something happen, between the two of you?”

Magnus turned his cheek into a bright purple pillow, exhaling wearily. “Alexander, come _on…”_

Alec frowned. “What?”

“You need to have a little more faith in me. Being the jealous type is cute, to an extent, but not when it causes you to so blatantly mistrust me.”

A familiar feeling flared up in Alec's chest. He started to sit up. “Seriously-”

“Let's talk this through like adults, please.”

Something about these words broke something inside of Alec. It was as if the wall he'd built up for his feelings was reduced to dust. It physically hurt, like his rib cage was coming down too hard as he exhaled and forcing too much out.

“I don't want to talk about it like an adult- because I am _not_ an adult.” The words bubbled up and rushed out, laced with suppressed anxiety. “I'm just nineteen- I don't feel like a- I can't-”

Magnus was there in an instant, a concerned face hovering in Alec's suddenly-blurry vision. He knelt on the bed in front of Alec and ran his hands up Alec's arms.

“I'm in out of my depth, here.” Alec murmured. “I'm an awkward teenager, and you're...you're much more than that, and so is Camille. I love you- I love you so much, but how can I compete with _her_?”

“Alec-”

“I'm insecure about the fact that you've been with a lot of other people. I feel inexperienced, a-and a little intimidated, if I'm being honest.” Alec exhaled. “It felt good to get that out. I'm trying to tell you how I feel, Magnus- I tried last time, too, but I went about it the wrong way. I'm still learning.  
“I was wrong, and I'm sorry.” Alec said. “Can't that be enough? I _do_ trust you, and I'm trying my best not to be jealous, and it's _my_ fault you didn't tell me about the Camille thing, I realize that. I just want you to forgive me. Please.”

Magnus's voice was soft, “Of course you're forgiven, darling.”

Alec was surprised by the ease of the situation; he was almost prepared for another argument. “Really?”

“Really. Thank you for explaining this to me.” Magnus kissed Alec's jaw, brushing his lips along the skin. “I love you. But you realise that jealousy is _not_ the basis for a healthy relationship?”

Alec nodded, a minuscule movement. “I know.”

“Nothing happened with Camille.” Magnus said, eventually. He kept his lips against Alec's chin. “She tried something, but, well. I kicked her out. And she's not coming back, I swear.”

Alec swallowed, his throat sticking uncomfortably. “I'm sorry I ever thought-”

“Alexander. It's over now.”

And, somehow, this was all the reassurance Alec seemed to need. Those three simple words: _it's over now_.

“I know it's not always easy.” Magnus inhaled and pulled back, stared Alec straight in the eye. “It's not as if I know exactly what I'm doing, either.”

Alec's lips twitched into a smile. “Could've fooled me.”

“Is that your way of telling me I'm the best boyfriend ever?”

“Mm.” Alec tugged at a shocking blue strand of Magnus's hair. “I have an idea.”

“Oh?” Magnus's tone was intrigued.

“Let's watch _Project Runway_ together.”

Magnus let out a soft gasp that sounded an awful lot like _'finally'_.

* * *

 

Alec couldn't close his eyes, later that night. He sat up in Magnus's bed, watching his boyfriend that seemed to be in a deep, dreamless sleep.

The lucky bastard.

The room was dark, but Alec could still make out Magnus's form; lying on his stomach, face pressed into the pillows. Magnus was shirtless (he hated clothes when he was sleeping, he said), and Alec enjoyed watching the way his back would arch, occasionally, as he breathed in or shifted in his sleep. He wanted to lean over and kiss the small of Magnus's back, but he also didn't want to risk waking him up. He longed for the day that he could finally be as intimate with Magnus as he wanted, when he could finally claim Magnus and pleasure him as much as possible. To be able to wake Magnus up with back kisses and trails his lips lower and...

His mind drifted to something he'd said to Magnus earlier: ' _I'm not an adult_ '. He supposed that was true. He felt too young, sometimes- too inexperienced.

So how could he be ready for sex? What if it wasn't the right time? If he considered himself a teenager, it probably wasn't a good idea to have sex. On the other hand...

Alec sighed and fell back into the pillows, pinching his eyes shut. He was exhausted; he wasn't going to make a decision about intimacy now.

He'd have to over-think it another day.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'High' by The Cure_

 

Alec detested the mall.

The thing was, it was always too busy. A person can't walk through a shopping mall without getting jostled, without having to constantly sidestep groups of giggling teenagers and soccer moms rushing by with their arms laden with shopping bags. Alec hated crowds.

He hated shopping, too, but one look at his wardrobe made this blatantly obvious.

So he wasn't entirely certain how he'd allowed Magnus to drag him to the mall, on a busy Saturday afternoon.

“I must love you a lot.” Alec stated, aloud, as Magnus tried on an assortment of hats.

“Does this one make my face look round?” Magnus ran his hand along the rim of the hat, which was overly large and circular and a dark beige color. Alec scoffed.

“Is it supposed to be a cowboy hat?”

“Oh my god, no.” Magnus sounded offended. “This is high-end fashion, Alexander.” But he took the hat off and placed it back on the rack, anyway.

“You'd be a sexy cowboy.” Alec offered, in the hopes that this comment might redeem him. It did; Magnus's grin was suddenly the brightest thing in the shop (which was saying a lot). “ _Don't_ make a joke about riding.” Alec added.

“Wasn't so much going to be a joke as a suggestion.”

“Remind me why we're here?”

“Your sister enlisted me to update your wardrobe.” Magnus pulled Alec in by the hem of his black shirt. “We're going to add some color to your life.”

“We are not.” Alec allowed himself to lean into Magnus. Normally, he wasn't for PDA, but things were changing.

Magnus had the hat back in his hands. He settled it on Alec's head.

“This suits you.” He said, as he fussed with the angle of the hat.

Alec rolled his eyes to the side, and subsequently caught sight of the price tag dangling in the corner of his vision. “Um. I'm not paying _that_ much for a _hat_.”

“Who says you're paying?”

Alec regarded his boyfriend as if he'd sprouted an extra limb. “I'm not letting you waste money on something I probably won't wear.”

“Let me buy you _something_.” Magnus all but pouted. Alec had already refused various items of clothing Magnus had offered to buy for him, including a bright yellow pair of skinny jeans.

“No,” Alec said.

“Come on.”

  
“I hate to bring this up, but you're going to be buying out an apartment, soon.” One of Alec's eyebrows had lifted, which was becoming more of an instinct than anything else. “Shouldn't you be saving for that?”

Magnus shrugged. “I've budgeted for it.”

“Seriously, Magnus, where do you get all your money?” Alec shook his head in wonder.

“I already told you- I inherited quite a bit from my parents.” Magnus swayed on his feet, a thoughtful movement, and raised his index finger to tap Alec's chin. “As for my _extra_ money, I'll show you how I earn that.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'From Eden' by Hozier_

 

They ended up in Park Slope. The street was foreign to Alec; it was lined with artsy hipster stores and poetry cafés and places that sold vinyl records. He realised that there was a lot to New York he hadn't yet explored or discovered.

Magnus seemed to know exactly where he was going. He walked in confident strides, the heels of his boots clacking against the pavement, as his eyes scanned the shops that they passed. Alec walked alongside him, slightly more hesitant.

“You're not going to tell me where we're going?” he asked.

“You'll see, Blue Eyes.”

“Why are you so damned cryptic?” Alec huffed a laugh.

“It's one of my many charms.” Magnus came to a stop in front of a dilapidated store- one that Alec suspected had been around for many decades. A sign above the wooden door read ' _Viridi Veneficus_ ' in shining letters; it looked to be the newest feature of the shop.

“This is it.” Magnus said.

“What does that mean?” Alec was squinting up at the sign. “Is it Latin?”

“C'mon.” Magnus pushed the door open.

They went inside. The light jingle of a bell sounded above their heads.

The store was cramped, due to the ridiculous amount of, well, _stuff_. Everywhere Alec looked, he saw shelves groaning under aged books, paintings with ornate frames, various antiques and odds and ends. Everything was a mixture of modern and aged.

“Interesting place.” Alec said uncertainly. He wasn't yet sure why Magnus had brought him here.

There was a low couch in the corner of the room, on which someone was lounging. Alec watched as the person set their book down and shifted into a sitting position; it was a handsome man, with bronze skin and broad shoulders, a contrast to how small his body seemed. He regarded them with dark eyes.

“Bane,” the man greeted.

“Raphael! You're working today?”

“Mm,” Raphael raked his eyes over Alec, who suddenly felt the urge to run. “So. I finally meet the boyfriend.”

“Hi.” Alec lifted his hand in greeting, being careful not to knock over the expensive-looking vase next to him. “I'm Alec.”

“I know.”

“Of course you do.” Alec said, mostly to himself. Magnus seemed to hear him and responded with a quiet laugh.

“Is Ragnor here?” Magnus asked.

Raphael nodded, “In the back. He's tried to dye his hair the most horrendous shade of green. It's the best thing that's happened all year.” Raphael's smirk, in Alec's eyes, was practically terrifying. “Be sure to tease him about it.”

“Don't have to ask me twice.” Magnus took Alec's hand and lead him to the back of the shop; they weaved through a maze of things, until they reached a heavy velvet curtain that was functioning as some kind of partition. Magnus pushed it aside.

“Not one word,” was how they were greeted. A man- who Alec assumed had to be Ragnor- was seated behind a large desk with his feet propped up on the surface. His features were twisted in a scowl. Alec tried hard not to stare at the shock of grass-green hair atop his head.

“Whatever are you referring to, my little peapod?” Magnus responded swiftly.

“Magnus, I swear to god.”

“I think it suits you.”

“Shut up.” Ragnor leaned forward in his seat, planted his feet back on the floor. He was looking straight at Alec, now. “Are you...” Ragnor snapped his fingers, as if it was going to help him remember. “Hang on, I do know your name. It's...Lightwood?”

“Alec. Yeah,” Alec said. “Ragnor, right?”

  
“Right.” Ragnor tapped his fingers against his desk, more of a twitch than a rhythm. “What brings you two to my shop?”

Alec's lips formed an 'o' in realization: “You run this place?”

“I do indeed.”

“And I work here sometimes.” Magnus explained. Alec nodded, content now that things were starting to make sense.

“What made you want to open a store like this?” Alec asked Ragnor, feeling more than a little curious. A stack of artworks in the back of the room had caught his attention; they looked like Pollock's, but he wasn't sure.  
“This is more of my hobby, really.”

“Ragnor is a man with too much time, money, and absolutely no taste whatsoever.” Magnus said.

“Did you just come here to insult me?” Ragnor spread his hands in a defeated gesture.

“Isn't that why I _always_ come here?”

“Oh, by the way.” Ragnor played with the end of his tie, as if the material fascinated him, “Your ex dropped by, earlier.”

The response was instantaneous; Magnus's posture went rigid. Alec glanced pointedly at the ceiling.

“Camille?” Magnus asked, in a clipped tone.

“She looked a wreck.” Ragnor said. “Wanted to know if you were here, if she could talk to you. I sent her away, of course.”

“And?”

  
“And she was furious.” Ragnor lowered his eyebrows in a frown. “Magnus...I'm worried. I don't want a repeat of what she did _last time_.”

The words held an undercurrent of warning, of disapproval. Alec wondered if he should ask what 'last time' had entailed. He resolved to ask; it was probably better to, to avoid not knowing, like the last time-

one look at Magnus changed his mind.

His boyfriend's jaw was set, his pupils dilated with anxiety. Alec hated seeing Magnus so worked up. He rubbed at one of Magnus's tense shoulders.

“Why don't you show me the rest of the store?” Alec asked. He hoped that avoiding the topic altogether might help- he didn't have any other ideas.

“Sure,” Magnus seemed to relax, fractionally. His easy-going smile was back, albeit forced, as he lead Alec from the office.

“It was good to meet you, Lightwood!” Ragnor called after them, “Don't break anything in my shop!”

“Let me show you what _I_ do, while I'm here.” Magnus said. He went through an actual curtain of beads, and Alec snorted.

“This is so...sixties.” He said, running his hand over the multicolored glass strings. As he walked through the curtain, the beads made a rather satisfying noise. “Fun.”

“Welcome to my office.” Magnus said, as he lowered himself into an overstuffed armchair. He kicked his feet up onto a small, round table, and narrowly avoided kicking a stack of tarot cards to the floor.

Alec approached the table and picked the cards up, “You tell fortunes for money? You said it was just a hobby.”  
“I don't work often,” Magnus shrugged, “And if you could get paid for your archery, wouldn't you leap at the chance?”

Alec nodded, shuffled the deck in his hands.

Magnus leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table, “Would you like a reading?”

“Why not?” Alec handed the cards to Magnus, who spread them out, face-down, on the table.

“Pick six.”

Alec sat down across from Magnus, picked six of the cards at random. Magnus flipped them over.

“They're beautiful.” Alec said; each card looked like it had been meticulously hand-painted. He didn't really have an eye for art, but he knew talent when he saw it. “Who made them?”  
“I actually don't know.” Magnus said. “Catarina bought them from a patient in Beth Israel. She said the patient painted to pass the time.”

“Wow...so. What's my fortune?” Alec gestured to the cards he'd chosen.

“The Wheel, Strength, the World, Temperance, the Magician and the Hanged Man.” Magnus looked thoughtful for a minute, “Short version? Good things are coming your way- but only if you let go of your fears and take action.”

“'Good things'?”

  
“Something you've been wanting for a while, now.” Magnus met Alec's eyes and smiled, “Want to tell me what that might be, Alexander?”

 _Something he'd been wanting for a while._ Well. He definitely knew what that was.

Alec sucked in a quiet, fluttering breath. His chest felt warm. He moved his gaze to the cards and stared at the magician's face, which was a swirl of white impasto paints.

“I think you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is on the horizon, my friends.  
> Let me know what you think!~


	19. Give it to Me Slowly, Softly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally hereee~  
> I'm so so sorry this took so long. It's exam month right now- need I say more?  
> Thank you to all my lovely readers for being so patient! <3  
>  _This chapter contains sexual content._

_Song for this section: 'WILD (XXYYXX Remix)' by Troye Sivan_

 

Life would be so much simpler if losing one's virginity were an _easy_ process.

A day's worth of internet research didn't seem to help; Alec had spent his Sunday afternoon reading different opinions and 'helpful tips', glancing at detailed diagrams. Nothing gave him the illusion that he knew what he was doing. He didn't know if he was going to top, or bottom. And consequently, wasn't sure what he had to do to prepare.

He felt bitter. The movies always made it look so easy. Then again, those happy, glowing couples were usually heterosexual.

Maybe he just wasn't watching the right movies.

Alec shut his laptop and propped it against his knees. He was throwing in the towel.

He closed his eyes. The mortification he'd experienced earlier was coming back to haunt him. A trip to the drug store for 'essentials' the internet suggested had left Alec staring at rows upon rows of condoms and lubrication bottles, his expression vacant. He didn't know what size he'd need- wasn't it supposed to be one size fits all? And why the hell were some of them ribbed? Why on earth were there _different types_ of lube?

He was reaching for a promising-looking blue bottle when a woman next to him said:

“I'm glad you younger kids are at least being safe. You be gentle with your girlfriend, okay?”

Alec's face had gone a brilliant shade of red. He'd fumbled with a box of ' _Amor: Neon_ ' condoms and dropped it to the linoleum floor, muttered something about having to leave, and fled the store. He wasn't sure he was ever going to go back.

Alec groaned and flung his arm over his face. He hated that his brain always felt the need to replay his most traumatizing life woes. The humiliation was fresh.

He heard the sound of slippers shuffling against the rug (a really large, really fluffy gray carpet, courtesy of Magnus Bane™ interior decorating), and then there was a weight at the end of his bed, making the mattress dip. Alec lifted his arm just slightly to peek at his visitor. It was Isabelle.

“Why must you _always_ bother me at the worst times?” Alec complained, “Leave me to my misery.”

“Good god, your boyfriend _has_ turned you into a drama queen.” Isabelle tugged Alec's laptop off of his lap. “I need to use this. Max is using mine, and-”

“No!” Alec sat up way too quickly, moving the laptop out of reach. Isabelle stared at him with dark, wide eyes.

“And why not?” Isabelle lifted an eyebrow, “Hiding something, big brother?”

“I'd rather you didn't see my web history right now.” he mumbled.

“ _Oh_?” his sister smirked, clearly delighted.

“It's-” Alec sighed and rolled his eyes, “I'm just...doing some research. Magnus and I are going to...you know. And I want to be prepared.”

Isabelle laughed, “You're so innocent. It's the sweetest thing, oh my god.” she leaned over and pinched his cheek. He scowled.

“Don't do that.”

“What do you need help with?” Isabelle shifted forward. “I'm all ears.”

“I'm not talking about this with you. _God_ no.”

“Do you have condoms? Do you know how to use one? Have you _prepared_ yourself beforeh- hey!” Isabelle's protest was muffled. Alec had just thrown the blanket over her head.

“Go away.”

“You need to talk to _someone_ with experience _._ ” Isabelle said, once she'd untangled herself from the blanket. “Preferably Magnus. But since I know you're probably too embarrassed to do that, I have a better idea.”

“If you're going to say Jace, you can just get out of here right now.”

“It's not Jace.”

* * *

 

“Oh man, this is great,” Simon clapped Alec on the back, and Alec had to grip his coffee cup tighter so as not to spill. “You're going to love it.”

“I'm sure.” Alec fought the urge to cringe. Why did he ever listen to Isabelle? Why did he agree to go to her boyfriend for help? Now it was too late; he was sitting in Java Jones, sipping at a piping hot espresso while Simon bounced in his seat, brimming with excitement at being able to help. He couldn't possibly back out now.

“So, uh, you guys made any decisions? Discussed the details?” Simon asked.

“No...” Alec hesitated, “How do you know if you're meant to be a top or a bottom?”  
“In reality, dude, people switch all the time. It's more fun that way.” Simon explained. “I mean, you eventually find your preference. I, for instance, love being bottom-”

“ _O_ kay, didn't ask for details.”

“You'll probably top the first time, because Magnus is more experienced.”

Alec blinked. “Oh.”

“You seem disappointed?” Simon's eyebrows furrowed in a frown. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Not disappointed. Just...nervous. I want to be good at it.” Alec lifted his coffee to his lips, swallowed a burning mouthful. “How do I make it feel good for Magnus?”

“You want my honest opinion? Practice.”

“Gee, thanks, I don't know why I never thought of that.” Alec scoffed.

“I'm just saying.” Simon spread his hands in a placating gesture. “Izzy said you've been doing your reading?”

“I've...Googled a fair few things.” Alec admitted. “I know about some of this stuff in theory, but I feel like it's not helping.”

“Right. Topping 101.” Simon announced, “Class is in session.”

“Don't call it that. Please, can we not call it that.”

“First off,” Simon went on as if Alec had never spoken, “you should know that you have to prepare him. Not too much, probably. Depends. But,” Simon wiggled his index and middle finger. “meet your new best friends.”

Alec nodded and lowered Simon's hand. “I think I get it.”

“It's not just the fingers, though. You'll learn that the tongue is also-”

“I know.” Alec interrupted, his ears burning.

“So what do you need me for?” Simon crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

“I need tips that you have from _personal_ experience.” Alec said. “Everything you've told me I've already read on the internet.”

“Alright, pro tip: don't over-think it.” Simon shrugged. “It needs to all be as natural as possible. And you don't need to feel pressured to make it perfect, honestly. It's your first time. I doubt Magnus is expecting too much.”

Alec nodded along to Simon's advice, making a sort of humming noise in response.

“Then there's the wonders of the prostate,” Simon went on, “which, really, is all about finding the right angle.”

“So...positions.” Alec said.

“You got a karma sutra lying around?”

“Uh, no.”

“Huh,” Simon ran a hand through his hair, “Then my best suggestion would be...porn.”

Alec choked on his coffee, “R-really?” with a cough, he tried to recover from the initial shock, “I mean, I considered it, but...”

“You should just do it!” Simon encouraged, “There's no shame in it, and it'll be really helpful. Trust me.”

“If you're sure.” Alec said uncertainly.

“Yeah, man. Go for it.” Simon nodded sagely, which Alec found amusing, considering the topic of conversation. “Do you need website suggestions, or…?”

“I think I'll be fine.” It was odd, going to your sister's boyfriend for sex advice. But it turned out to be more helpful than he'd imagined. “Thanks for the advice.”

“No problem.” Simon said. “I hope it goes well. I'm rooting for you guys.”

“Thanks.”

“And tell me how Magnus is in bed, because I'm actually quite curious-”

“Oh my god, _stop_ talking.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Chop and Change' by The Black Keys_

 

Later that night, Alec stared at his laptop screen in stunned silence. There were so many options- _too_ many options. And, honestly, he didn't understand a lot of it. He didn't know what was best to watch, or what would be helpful, because there weren't any videos that said 'awkward nineteen year old tops his incredibly handsome, experienced boyfriend for the first time'. He considered typing that into the search bar, but he doubted anything would come up. Probably. Maybe. His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

In retrospect, it might have been a good idea for him to turn off his phone before he ventured into the x-rated side of the internet.

The sudden burst of noise that was his ringtone startled him so much, he slammed his laptop shut (he felt like kicking himself afterwards, when he realised he'd overreacted).

“Hello,” he answered the call. His heart was beating too fast. He really needed to calm down.

“Hello, darling.” Magnus. Of course it was Magnus. Alec shifted, awkwardly adjusting the position of his laptop. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Alec said, the word rushed.

“Oh, good. I need you.”

“Hm?” Alec's mind stuttered. He couldn't come up with a better response.

“I'm watching _Project Runway_ , but it feels wrong to watch it without you.” Magnus said. “It's so cute when you defend people's style choices. Come over?”

“Sure.” Alec could do that. Watching television with his boyfriend was probably a better idea than... what he'd had planned.

“I'll be right over.”

* * *

 

It doesn't really matter how much you plan. In reality, it's all a little unexpected, a little spontaneous.

When Alec had thought about losing his virginity, he'd imagined a planned evening; 'We'll do it at your place. You bring the condoms, I'll bring the candles'.

Okay, maybe not candles. Alec wasn't the cheesy mood-lighting type.

He'd had it in mind to set the perfect date, and plan it down to the very last detail. He certainly hadn't thought that a make-out session on the couch, with reality television in the background as their 'mood-lighting', would lead to the moment he'd been waiting for for _ages_.

After Magnus had sucked a rather impressive bruise onto Alec's collarbone, he lifted his head and asked:

“Bedroom?”

Alec swallowed hard. He already knew he was going to say 'yes'- he didn't need to hear Tim Gunn telling designers to 'make it work!' while he fumbled his way through pleasuring Magnus.

He nodded.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Gods and Monsters' by Lana Del Rey_

 

For Alec, undressing in the bedroom context was always a bit of a rushed blur. It really didn't take that long until he and Magnus were in the sheets, their bodies bare. Alec never thought he'd be so familiar with another man's body, and yet, there he was. He slid his hand down Magnus's side, curled it around his hip and pulled him closer.

“Have I ever told you how perfect you are?” Magnus's voice was low as he pressed a kiss to Alec's neck.

“Maybe once or twice,” Alec murmured, a smile tugging at his lips, “you shouldn't stroke my ego, though.”

“What ego?” Magnus grinned, moved his mouth to Alec's jaw, “Mm, babe, you haven't shaved.”

“I know, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind today.”

“I like it.” Magnus nipped Alec's chin. He rolled them over without warning, and straddled Alec's hips. “I like everything about you.”

“I should hope so. I like everything about you, too.” Alec felt his heart speed up, fractionally, as Magnus's bare length brushed against his.

“I like this,” Magnus nuzzled his cheek into Alec's stubble, making him chuckle, “I like...this.” he slid his hands down Alec's torso, slowly, using his fingers to trace every muscle. Alec watched as Magnus flattened one hand against his stomach, and moved the other hand to Alec's right biceps. “I _love_ your arms. Your archer arms.” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the muscle.

“Yeah?” Alec murmured, his eyes lidded as Magnus shifted and started trailing open-mouthed kisses along his chest.

“Yeah.” Magnus's kisses were getting progressively lower. Alec felt Magnus's lips against his hip, his pelvic muscle, his-

“Wait,” Alec put a hand on Magnus's shoulder, stopping him.

“Hm?” Magnus glanced up, bemusement plain in his expression.

“I, uh, kind of wanted to do something else, tonight.” Alec said.

“ _Tonight_?” Magnus sat upright with a quiet grunt, “When did you decide this?”

 _A split second ago,_ Alec wanted to say.

“Does it matter?” he said, instead.

Magnus considered him quietly, for awhile. Alec stared up at him with an almost hopeful expression.

“Let's,” Magnus said eventually, softly, leaning down to kiss him. Alec sighed into his lover's mouth- relieved, content. Magnus sucked on his tongue. Alec felt himself grinding against Magnus in response.

Magnus made a soft noise against Alec's lips, and Alec wasted no time in rolling them over. He pressed his forehead against Magnus's and breathed out:

“I didn't bring...do you have-”

“Drawer.” Magnus said, dragging his hot lips down Alec's jawline.

It took all of Alec's willpower to pull himself away from Magnus and lean over to the bedside drawer, which he practically ripped open. He rifled through the drawer's contents for a moment until his hand found purchase on what he wanted.

The lube was cold as he poured it over his fingers.

“Hey,” Magnus pulled Alec back down, hand on the back of his neck, “get back here.”

Alec kissed at Magnus's lower lip, inching his hand downwards. Magnus played with the hair at the base of Alec's neck, humming appreciatively.

Alec worked his hand between them, brushed his fingertips against Magnus's entrance. He glanced up as he slowly, gently worked his fingers inside. Magnus nodded in encouragement, and Alec started moving his fingers in a barely-there motion.

“ _Nnh_ ,” Magnus rocked his hips downwards as Alec stretched him open. “That's it.”

Alec, feeling encouraged, moved his fingers a little faster, “Like this?”

“Feels good, baby.” Magnus shifted and curled his hand around Alec's erection. Alec thrust into his grip.

“I'm ready,” Magnus said, after a minute.

“O-oh,” Alec exhaled, pulled back to retrieve the condom. Magnus found it before him and pressed it into his hand. Alec pulled it open, fumbled with the rubber before snapping it on.

Magnus gently guided him between his legs.

Alec took a breath, his mind trying to wrap itself around the fact that it was all finally happening, it was all really real and in the moment-

Magnus kissed his forehead and murmured, “My Alec.”

Alec gripped his hardness and pressed it to Magnus's entrance, easing himself inside.

He needed a minute to remember how to breathe.

“Oh,” his head dropped to Magnus's bare shoulder. He felt long fingers rake through his hair- soothing, light. The warmth surrounding him was so _new._ His fingers flexed against the sheets, concentrating on keeping himself upright, on not becoming incredibly overwhelmed. “ _Oh_.”

“Start moving, baby.” Magnus murmured against his ear.

Alec tried, he really did; his hips rolled forward in a sort of awkward, jerky movement. He felt his back muscles ripple and tense. Magnus, sensing this, moved his hands over Alec's back, palms sliding over the flushed skin.

“Don't think too much,” he said, “relax.”

In all honesty, Alec was just trying to last. He needed to hold back, actually concentrate on making Magnus feel good before he-

“Hey,” Magnus had Alec's face in his hands, now, and was looking him straight in the eyes. Alec made an odd sort of noise in his throat. Magnus swept his thumb across Alec's lower lip and smiled. “Alexander.”

“Mn,”

“I love you,” he said. Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus's cheekbone.

“I,” Alec moved his mouth to the shell of Magnus's ear, tried to focus. He shifted his hips again, and Magnus's channel gripped his hardness in a way that had him moving again, without thought. “I love you, too.”

“That's it, Alec, keep going,” Magnus's voice was husky, hitching just slightly. Alec kept up his slow, steady thrusting. His movements were short; he barely pulled out of Magnus before pushing back in. Steadily, he gained more confidence, and the rhythm of his thrusting became more natural. He remembered something about _angles._ He shifted his body and tried to thrust in more of an upwards motion.

Magnus's body responded to this. He tightened around Alec again, arched his back. Alec thrust again, experimentally. He seemed to be stimulating something, which was obviously the right thing to do.

“Yes,” Magnus encouraged, a breathy moan. His hands moved again, and gripped Alec's shoulders. It was a silent plead for _more_.

Alec nosed the line of Magnus's jaw, before meeting his lover's mouth and kissing him, licking into the lush warmth. He began to thrust with more force- he wasn't thinking anymore, just feeling, _experiencing_. He found the perfect rhythm, pulling out of Magnus almost all the way before rocking back into the slick heat, rubbing against Magnus's prostate. They were breathing in synchrony, panting against each other's mouths.

Magnus's back arched off the bed; he pressed his chest to Alec's, wrapped his arms around his neck. Alec's hand found Magnus's knee, and he lifted his boyfriend's leg to wrap around him.

“Right there, oh,” Magnus was saying, words a jumbled mess against Alec's lips. Alec could feel Magnus's length pressed between them, rubbing against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing against his skin. Magnus slid a hand in between them and wrapped it around himself, stroking in time with Alec's movements.

Alec wanted to ask if it felt good, but he was beyond words by that point. The pleasure was everywhere, it was overwhelming.

Luckily, Magnus was still largely capable of talking.

“You close, baby?” he asked, and Alec nodded. “Just let go.”

The tight coil of heat in the pit of Alec's abdomen unfurled then, and he finished with a shuddering gasp, fingers digging into the sheets. He shuddered and rocked against Magnus's prostate, riding out the feeling. He bit back a sob of pleasure. Magnus came a second later, collapsed against the mattress. Cum streaked Alec's chest, hot and sticky. Alec couldn't say that he minded.

“Magnus, _god_...” he made no move to pull out. He simply soaked it all in: the warmth around him, that was slowly relaxing; Magnus grinning at him, cheeks flushed and dark hair fanned out against the pillow. Alec leaned down and kissed him, and it was messy and clumsy and _everything_ he was feeling.

He was smiling when he broke the kiss. He pulled out of Magnus, inched out of him, sighed at the loss of warmth. Magnus's chest heaved as he inhaled deep, catching his breath.

“How'd it feel?” Magnus asked, and Alec found the question slightly ridiculous. Magnus _knew_ the answer to that- he had to know.

“I should be asking you that.” Alec said. He rose from the bed to discard the condom. He glanced over his shoulder, “It was amazing.”

“I concur,” Magnus murmured. His eyes were closed.

Alec laughed and got back into the bed, returning to the warmth. He immediately curled into Magnus's side.

His limbs were heavy with exhaustion. He lifted a hand, patted Magnus's cheek with lead fingers.

“Did I do good?” he mumbled, sliding his fingers from his boyfriend's cheekbone to his neck.

“So good, love,” Magnus smiled, “Now, go to sleep.”

“Good night,” Alec whispered. Magnus hummed in reply, already half-asleep. Alec draped an arm across his waist, closed his eyes, and exhaled. An insistent euphoria was still fluttering in his chest.

Sleep came easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, either in the comments or at [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kaleinope).  
> I love you all!


	20. Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! My laptop works and I didn't lose any of my stuff, so here's the chapter~  
> Thank you to all my readers, for the wonderfully supportive comments you left on my previous update. I really appreciated it.
> 
> This chapter is actually all about Magnus. I felt it was finally time to reveal more about his life in this AU. There's an OC in this chapter, because we literally know next to nothing about Magnus's family in the canon universe, but I needed him to have a relative that he'd live with.  
> Warnings for this chapter: light angst, brief descriptions of past abuse, mentions of sex.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Song for this section: 'Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own' by U2_

 

No one knows how to use make-up when they're a child. No one should have to know, at that age.

Yet that's where Magnus found himself, ten (and three quarters, he reminded himself. He was almost eleven) years old and staring at his reflection in the mirror of the vanity table. There were long, thin bruises circling his neck; five misshapen lines. His face was blotchy, his eyes red, from hours upon hours of crying into his pillow behind a locked door (he didn't want auntie to see him cry. He had to smile for her, and be a good nephew).

He fumbled with the little pot of make-up. The lid was very secure, and hard to get off.

“Maggie?” Auntie Maria's voice came from behind the closed door- muffled, confused. “What are you doing in my room?”

“Um,” he mentally scrambled for an excuse. Had he locked the door? He couldn't remember. Maybe if he just kept quiet, she'd leave, and-

The door swung open.

“Are you putting on make-up?” Aunt Maria's gaze was immediately fixed on the cosmetics scattered across the dresser.

“I...” Magnus made a strange, strangled noise and dropped the make-up in his hands, ashamed. He was on the verge of tears.

“Honey, it's okay!” his auntie was at his side in a second, combing her fingers through his hair, lightly untangling the knots. It was oddly calming. Magnus sniffed and rubbed at his right eye.

“I just wanted to cover them up.” he mumbled. Auntie Maria nodded- she knew what he was referring to.

“They've almost completely faded, my dumpling.” she hushed him, kissing the side of his head. “You don't have to worry.”

“I don't want to _see the marks_ any more. I hate looking at them. I hate it.”

He hated remembering what his father did.

Auntie regarded him for a minute, lips pressed together in a concerned sort of frown. A moment later, though, she gave him that soft smile he was starting to associate with her.

“I'll help you, then.” she glanced at the foundation he'd been trying to open. “This shade isn't going to work. Let's find something that'll blend properly, yeah?”

Magnus smiled for the first time in a month.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Move Along' by The All-American Rejects_

 

Magnus swept the kohl pencil over his eyelid in a precise line.

“I'll see you later!” he grabbed his red scarf and wound it around his neck, hurried for the front door.

“And where exactly are you going?” Aunt Maria stepped out of the kitchen and into the hallway, blocking his path. Magnus rocked back on his heels, giving her his best 'I know I can win you over'-smile.

“'Sarah's Thirteenth Birthday Bash',” Magnus said, reciting the invitation he'd received a week before, “It's just down the road.”

“I wish you'd tell me about these things beforehand.” Maria sighed. It was a sigh that clearly meant ' _teenagers_ ', in very deliberate italics.

“Let me drive you there.”

“ _Aunt_ _Maria_ , Sarah literally lives around the corner,” Magnus whined, “I'll be _fine_.”

“I don't care. Kids do not walk around alone,” she said, firmly, “not after dark.”

“This suburb is the safest place ever, oh my god.” Magnus protested, “This suburb is where you raise your two and a half kids and put your freshly baked pies on the windowsill.”

“Magnus.”

“Okay, okay,” Magnus said, “you win.”

Five minutes later, after his aunt had thoroughly fussed over his appearance (“Your eyeliner's a little dark, don't you think?”), he slid into the passenger seat of the car and buckled up.

“I don't need to tell you to behave, do I?” Aunt Maria asked, as she adjusted the rear-view mirror.

Magnus shook his fringe out of his eyes, “I'll _try_ my best to be a good boy.”

She laughed, “I regret the day I taught you sarcasm.”

“I don't think I really learnt it,” Magnus mused, “I feel like it's more of an inherited behaviour.”

“Well, you inherited it too soon,” Aunt Maria backed the car out of the driveway.

“I'm a teenager,” Magnus insisted, puffing out his chest.

“You're growing up too fast.” his aunt agreed, in what Magnus thought was a rather sombre tone.

He didn't really know how to reply, so he kept quiet.

They were silent, for a while, as the car made its way down the road. His aunt was tapping her thumb against the steering wheel; a nervous tick.

“The other children...do they still tease you about sounding different?”

Magnus bristled. He hadn't been expecting that question- it was a bit of a taboo topic, since Magnus hated seeming vulnerable. For the longest time, he was just the weird kid with the weird British accent that wore make-up and dressed like a _Green Day_ reject. Some of the kids in class had targeted him- but he didn't let it get to him, not in front of anyone. Those kinds of feelings were for behind closed doors. However, his aunt always just _knew_ , no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“No, not really.” he said.

It was true; the other kids had given up, after awhile, because he wasn't reacting. He'd even found himself a small group of friends- which, he had to admit, he was happy about. His accent was gradually adapting, as well. He was starting to sound more and more like his peers, every day.

“That's good,” Aunt Maria said. The car slowed to a crawl, bumped up the curb in front of Sarah's house. His aunt turned in her seat to look at him.

“I'll pick you up at ten, okay?”

“Got it.” he leaned across the console and kissed Aunt Maria on the cheek. She smiled.

 

The party was a lot more fun than Magnus would have expected. Sarah had only invited her closest friends, so it was a small affair. They ate way too many snacks and sang off-key to bad music while dancing around in their socks on the hardwood floor and ended the night watching _Bridge to Terabithia_ (Magnus did not cry. Definitely not).

When he got back into Aunt Maria's car, later that night, she gave him the widest smile.

Magnus blinked, “What?”

“You just look so happy,” she said to him, “it's the loveliest thing.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'American Boy' by Estelle_

 

The first time he kissed a boy, Magnus wasn't wearing any lip-gloss (unfortunately). It was all rather unplanned. It happened at a party, in the midst of dozens of incredibly drunk teenagers, and Magnus had been pressed up against the island counter in the kitchen before he got the life kissed out of him. It tasted like tequila and salt and something else- cigarettes, maybe?

Brandon pulled away with a laugh and an apology, afterwards, and informed him that it had been a dare.

He hadn't really realised he liked kissing boys until that exact moment. It was a joke, it was all just for laughs- so Magnus had shrugged it off and laughed along with him. But his chest was a little too fluttery afterwards, and a ghost of the kiss stuck to his lips for hours. He'd liked it, he realised. He'd liked it a lot.

The problem was, he didn't know how to tell Aunt Maria- who was very traditional, who went to church every Sunday- about his recent sexual revelation. He had absolutely no idea how she was going to react.

The internal struggle went on for months- until, finally, he broke over a Saturday night dinner in the middle of August.

“I like boys,” Magnus exclaimed to his vegetables.

There was no reply. He raised his head, already wincing and expecting the worst. Aunt Maria, however, did not look shocked or perturbed in the least.

“I like boys, too.” she said, as if this was no news.

“I mean, I-I also like girls, Magnus stumbled over his words, despite himself. “I'm bisexual. I think.”

At this, his aunt raised an eyebrow, “You think?”

“Well, I'm pretty sure.”

Aunt Maria let out a soft laugh, “Maggie, why do you look so worried? I don't mind who you date, so long as they're good to you.”

“Oh.” Magnus breathed out, feeling a hell of a lot lighter.

He should've known she'd be okay with it all- he should never have doubted. Not sure what to say next, he gave his aunt a timid smile.  
“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked curiously, and Magnus detected just a hint of excitement. “I'd like to meet him.”

“I don't,” he shrugged. “I just like someone.”

“Is it Brandon?” Aunt Maria grinned.

Magnus felt his face go warm.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“I had a feeling.” she finished what was on her plate and scraped her chair back from the table, “Maybe you should tell him how you feel.”

“Nah,” Magnus shrugged uncomfortably. “I don't think...you know.”

“I see,” his aunt nodded, and stood up (Magnus felt infinitely relieved that she never made a big deal out of things). “Early to bed, okay? We've got a job to do in the morning.”

“Oh yeah,” Magnus sighed. A few years prior, his aunt had inherited an old store in Park Slope, which she really had no idea how to run. She'd sold it to some yuppie from Manhattan, and (for some unknown reason), had offered to help him set up shop. Magnus had gotten roped into the whole thing.

“Remind me why I agreed to this?” he gathered up their plates and carried them to the sink.

“Ragnor is a lovely young man. I think you two will get along.” Aunt Maria explained, “He's only four years older than you, you know.”

Magnus whistled, impressed. The warm water from the tap gushed over his hands, “He's only twenty? How rich is this guy?”

“Does it really matter?” his aunt shrugged, “I'm just glad someone's finally putting the store to good use.”

“Mhm,” Magnus hummed, as he scraped the last of the rice clinging to the plate into the drain.

Aunt Maria squeezed his shoulder, then, and he turned to face her.

“I love you,” she told him, seriously, “no matter what. Okay?”

For a brief moment, Magnus was confused. Then he remembered he'd come out to her barely five minutes prior. It was a wonder he'd ever been scared in the first place, since he seemed to have forgotten about it so easily.

“I know,” he smiled. “I love you too.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Shake Me Down' by Cage the Elephant_

 

Magnus's first thought when he met Camille was that her make-up was impeccable.

He was in a club. He wasn't supposed to be, but he was, and he didn't really ever want to leave.

Ragnor wouldn't let him drink- that would be one step too far, he'd said. Magnus didn't really mind. He was enjoying the lights and the music and the dancing all too much.

“I can't believe my fake ID worked,” he laughed and leaned against the bar comfortably, like he was meant to be there.

“I can't believe you _have_ a fake ID,” Ragnor scowled. He was seated stiffly on the barstool next to Magnus, staring at his drink as if it had personally offended him. “Actually, I can't believe I even agreed to bring you here. I'm either really stupid, or you're way too manipulative for your own good.”

Magnus opened his mouth to reply- but was distracted when the bartender set a shocking blue drink in front of him.

“I didn't...” he started.

“It's from the lady over there,” the bartender replied, nodding towards a woman seated further down the bar. Magnus met the sharp green eyes of the woman, and was immediately struck. She was perfect, in his eyes- her skin was like porcelain, her lips were bright and red and curled into a smile.

Rendered momentarily stupid, Magnus lifted the drink to his lips and tried to convey thanks with his eyes. The woman's grin got wider when he spilt some of the alcohol on his shirt.

“Shit,” he set the drink down and pulled at his shirt, examining the stain. It wasn't too bad- his shirt was dark, so it wasn't all that noticeable.

“What are you doing?” Ragnor scoffed. He'd moved the drink away from Magnus, clearly disapproving. “You shouldn't be drinking. Especially not mystery drinks from complete _strangers_.”

“Relax.” Magnus rolled his eyes. “She's flirting, obviously. Let me flirt back.” he started towards the woman, but Ragnor grabbed onto his arm.

“You just spilt on yourself, Casanova. Slow down.”

“Maybe she thought it was charming.”

His friend sighed heavily; sometimes, Magnus could swear Ragnor aged ten years a day.

“Come on,” Magnus grinned playfully, wriggling his arm out of Ragnor's grip.

“She's obviously older than you,” Ragnor stated. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Ragnor. What could possibly go wrong?”

* * *

 

Camille said she liked it when he wore darker colors on his lips, so that's what he did for her.

He liked it when she kissed the life out of him and smeared his lipstick, made it bleed from his lips, which was a sight reserved just for her. She'd kiss and bite at his lips until they were swollen, until Magnus was drunk on her.

They'd been dating for about five months, and Magnus already practically worshipped the ground she walked on. He memorised every detail about her; she was 22, she worked for a fashion magazine, she only drank red wine, her hair was not naturally blonde. She was perfect.

She liked to fuck him senseless. She dominated in bed, and Magnus couldn't get enough of it.

She'd ride him for what felt like hours, their hands clutched together as she fucked herself on him with a strength and intensity that overwhelmed him every time. He'd lie back in the sheets and let her take what she wanted. He'd raise his eyes to the ceiling and silently thank all the gods when he orgasmed.

Sometimes, she'd hurt him in bed, because she enjoyed it. He was mostly fine with it- they had a safe word, so. He could handle a few bruises and being handcuffed to the headboard and having to beg for permission to cum.

Camille let him dominate, too, but not often. There were days when she'd ask him to take her up against a wall, or from behind; but even when he got the chance to take control, somehow she'd still be the one in charge. She'd tell him what to do, how to do it, when to start, when to stop. He liked it, he supposed.

It was enough to keep him around, at least. He found himself at a point where he couldn't imagine life without Camille.

It was like she was a drug.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Bloody Mary (Nerve Endings)' by Silversun Pickups_

The year he left school, they bought an apartment together. It was actually Magnus's idea; he'd just gotten old enough to legally take control of his parents' funds, and he wanted his own place. Aunt Maria was happy for him- but she didn't quite approve of the living with Camille part. She'd never liked Camille.

“All I'm saying is,” his aunt was explaining, as she folded Magnus's clothes with frightening efficiency, “that this is a lot of commitment, and I think it's too soon. You're still so young and I think it's a mistake and-”

“Honestly, Aunt Maria, it's fine.” Magnus paused, in the middle of wrapping a picture frame in some bubble wrap, “We're adults. I think we can handle owning an apartment together.”

Maria sighed and shook her head, “Magnus...”

“Please, don't worry about me.” he gave her a look, one that she knew meant 'I can't handle it when you worry over me'.

Aunt Maria gave him a nod and tried to smile.

“I wish you'd date Brandon again,” she said a few minutes later, under her breath, “he was such a nice boy.”

“ _Aunt Maria_.”

* * *

 

The apartment became more of a home for Magnus than Camille. For her, it was just floorspace for her things and a place where she'd sleep (most nights). Magnus felt like she was barely ever around- and, when she was, all they really did was have sex.

It was all getting a bit monotonous.

“Hey,” he propped himself up on one elbow, smiling down at Camille. She looked beautiful- pale and naked against the dark red sheets.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Should I be worried?” Camille rose an eyebrow. She rolled over and reached for the bottle of water on the night-stand.

“No, I just...” he shrugged, “feel like having a conversation. We don't have many of those, lately.”

“We can talk, but make it quick.” she swallowed a mouthful of water, lean throat working with the movement. “I'm exhausted.”

“Remember that school of design I told you I applied to?” he started pulling at a loose strand on one of the pillow cases. “They finally got back to me. I'm going in for an interview next week.”

“Oh?” Camille turned over to face him again.

“Yeah.” Magnus grinned, “I'm really excited. I can't mess up the interview, though, because my admittance is kind of riding on it-”

“Where's the school?” Camille cut him off.

Magnus hesitated, “It...may or may not be in Rhode Island- but,” he added hastily, when he caught sight of Camille's expression of distaste, “I'll come home every weekend, I swear.”

“Rhode Island?” Camille scoffed, “Why in God's name would you want to go to college _there_?”

Magnus shrugged uncomfortably, “It's a really good school...”

Camille simply gave him a look- one that somehow made him feel ashamed, like he'd done something wrong. He pressed his lips together, unsure how to respond.

“I'm sorry?” he tried, “I thought you'd be happy for me.”

Camille exhaled heavily and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, as if Magnus was completely insufferable.

“I'm going to sleep.” she said, and settled into the bed. She made sure to face the wall.

“Okay,” he said, “good night.”

Camille didn't respond, so he sighed and flopped back into the pillows, draping the duvet over his bare body.

There was an unnaturally tight feeling in his chest that prevented him from sleeping that night.

* * *

 

“The interview is going to be a Skype call, tomorrow,” Magnus said, “I think I'm prepared enough.”

“I hope you are,” Aunt Maria shifted in her seat; Magnus pressed a hand on her shoulder to keep her still.

“Stop fidgeting.” he instructed.

“I can't- the dye feels weird.” He watched his aunt pull a face in the mirror.

“ _You_ suggested this,” Magnus grinned. He carefully combed the dark color through her hair. “ _I_ thought the gray looked good.”

“I hate going gray,” she complained, “it ages me.”

“Oh, please. You still look forty,” Magnus assured her, “You're practically a spring chicken.”

“Thanks,” Maria said, laconic. She glanced down at her phone screen, scrolling through her Facebook feed.

Magnus grinned and bent down to kiss her cheek.

“Don't you think you should've just gone through to Rhode Island, instead of doing the whole virtual interview...thing?” his aunt frowned, “It just seems more professional.”

“Maybe,” Magnus mused, “Too late now.”

“Sadie's had a baby,” Aunt Maria said, tapping through a photo set. Magnus glanced over his aunt's shoulder; the photos were all of the same pudgy, pink face.

“Sadie from school?” Magnus blinked. He found it so odd when people his age settled down and started families. “That's...”

“Mhm,” Maria nodded.

His cellphone started to vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. The sound of it echoed in the bathroom.

“I have to answer,” Magnus said, tugging the plastic gloves off his hands before he pulled out his phone. At his aunt's questioning glance, he explained, “It could be the school.”

He answered the call.

“Mr Bane?” the voice that came through was tinny, unfamiliar.

“That's me,” Magnus replied, stepping out of the bathroom.

“We're calling in regards to the interview we have scheduled for you tomorrow,” the person said.

“Yes, I'm-”

“We're going to have to cancel it, Mr Bane.”

“I,” Magnus nearly choked. His voice came out strangled, “I'm sorry?”

“We ran a background check on you- it's standard procedure, we do it regularly for all potential students- and we found some...undesirable content, that we can't have associated with the school. I'm terribly sorry, sir.”

“What...” he didn't understand. He had no criminal record, and his academic history was fine. “I'm not sure what you-”

“I'm sorry, Mr Bane, but that's all I can tell you.” the person sighed, “Have a lovely day.”

The line went dead.

“Magnus!” as if on cue, his aunt's voice came from the bathroom- shrill, bordering on hysterical, “You need to check your Facebook, _now_.”

He took too long to respond. He felt numb.

* * *

 

Magnus hadn't had nightmares in so long, but they came back that night.

In the nightmare, there was a faceless demon; the demon was beautiful, though, he knew. Beautiful in a terrifying way, with a too-slender body and sweeping curls of unnaturally glossy hair.

The demon beat him, kissed him, sucked the life out of him- and grinned as she did it. She clutched at his body, bent it to her will. Magnus cried out for her to stop, but no sound came from his mouth. The demon bit a deep gash into his neck, laughed as he started to bleed out. She stripped him and paraded him in front of a faceless crowd.

He stumbled, fell to his knees.

Hands prodded and pulled at him. He heard jeering and laughing, but it was faint, muffled.

Stronger hands gripped at him, suddenly. The touch felt real, terrifyingly real, as the hands dragged him away from the crowd, and into a dark room.

The hands wound around his neck, then, and forced his head under a body of water that Magnus could not see. But it was there, suddenly, swelling around his face and dulling his senses, cutting off his air. He choked; the water went up his nose. It burned.

He woke up, choking on his own tears and gasping in large lungfuls of air.

With a quiet sob, Magnus kicked out of the sheets and grabbed for his cellphone. The bed creaked in protest- it was his old bed, Magnus realized. He'd slept at Aunt Maria's house.

The time on his phone read '00:22'.

He needed to get out; to walk somewhere, anywhere, to get fresh air and attempt to clear his head.

He'd go to Park Slope, he decided. Sometimes the store was kept open all night. It was a good idea. Sort of. Not really. It was his only idea.

Magnus tried to leave the house as silently as he could. He walked a long way.

* * *

 

The lights in the store were all still on, but Magnus stood outside for a long time, just staring through the glass. His hand was on the door handle, but he couldn't bring himself to go inside.

He felt numb, again.

The door gave way under his hand, swung inwards. Magnus's fingers slipped from the handle and he stumbled over the threshold.  
“Hey, now,” a familiar voice said, as he was gripped by the shoulders to steady him, “Magnus?”

“I needed to...” Magnus's throat constricted, “talk.” he looked up at Ragnor helplessly, tears obscuring his vision.

“I know,” Ragnor said, simply, wrapping Magnus into a surprisingly warm hug, “I saw.”

* * *

 

The office was warm. Quiet, save for the sound of the kettle boiling.

“I have a friend that's handling this for you,” Ragnor explained, “it'll all blow over soon.”

The words went straight over Magnus's head.

“Naked pictures, Ragnor,” Magnus whispered, his tone bland, “she uploaded _naked pictures_ of me- a-and not just that, they were _sex_ pictures.” his voice hitched, “I didn't even know she had those- I was blindfolded when she- I- I didn't realize-”

“Magnus, calm down.” Ragnor said, “You're working yourself up again.”

Magnus swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Naked pictures. _Why_. I'm such an idiot-”

“No one blames you for this,” Ragnor told him, “It was all her.”

Magnus dug his fingers into his knees and watched his knuckles go white.

“...I'm having the nightmares, again,” he said, so quietly he wasn't sure Ragnor would hear.

“The ones about... your dad?” his friend's tone was much softer, now, and uncharacteristically concerned.

Magnus nodded, “Variations of it.”

“I see.”

“Obviously this thing with Camille, it...”

“Triggered something,” Ragnor agreed, “I'm so sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus shrugged and slumped in his seat, feeling defeated.

Ragnor got up from behind his desk and moved to the corner of the office, responding to the sound of the old kettle whistling. Magnus heard water being poured, the clink of teaspoon against ceramic mugs, various other rustling noises that Magnus assumed may have involved tea bags.

“Here,” a minute later, a warm cup of tea was thrust into his hands. Ragnor sat back down, sipping at his own drink (which Magnus suspected was coffee, of the Irish variety. That's what Ragnor usually drank, this time of night).

Magnus wrapped his hands around his own mug, lacing his long fingers together. He frowned into the light brown liquid.

“You _drink_ the tea, Magnus. You don't glare at it.”

“Fuck off,” Magnus told him, but he didn't have enough energy to put any venom behind it. He sipped at the tea, and felt himself relax- only slightly- when the warmth trickled down his throat.

“Feel better?” Ragnor asked, after a few minutes of silence.

“Kind of,” Magnus admitted.

“Good.” Ragnor kicked his chair back from the desk, “Look, Magnus, what she did is wrong. _So_ wrong. But you can't let it ruin your life. You just...you can't give up. If you give up, she wins.”

Magnus felt himself smile, just slightly. “That was kinda cheesy.”  
Ragnor pulled a face, “Ugh, I know. This doesn't leave the room, okay?”

“Of course.”

Magnus heard the rustle of the curtain being pulled back; he turned in his chair to see who'd come into the office. It was a teenager, not much younger than Magnus himself, who was short and handsome (in Magnus's opinion) and who seemed to have a bored expression that was permanently fixed to his face.  
“It's done,” the boy told Ragnor.  
“Who's this?” Magnus asked.

“This is the friend I told you about- the one who's helping you.” Ragnor explained. “Raphael.”

Magnus's eyebrows shot up, “So you…you erased the pictures?”

“Yeah.” Raphael said, “Didn't take me that long. All traces of the photos are gone from the internet.”

In a second, Magnus was up on his feet and approaching Raphael. He wrapped the boy into a bone-crushing hug.

Raphael stiffened.

“Yes, well, I may have spent the past few hours seeing more of you than I ever needed to,” he paused and extracted himself from Magnus, “but we're not on hugging terms yet.”

Magnus laughed, mostly out of disbelief. “Thank you. _Thank_ _you_.”

“Um. You're welcome.” Raphael looked very uncomfortable, “Don't mention it.” he backed out of the room, curtain swishing shut behind him.

“Don't mind him,” said Ragnor, “he's always like that.”

“I can't actually believe the photos are gone,” Magnus rubbed at his eyes, “It...it helps. Now my chances of getting into another college aren't totally fucked over.”

“So...what next?” Ragnor asked.

“I have to go back to the apartment,” the heavy feeling in his chest was coming back, “I guess I...I have to talk to her. Tell her to leave.”

“I'll do it for you.” Ragnor insisted. “You shouldn't have to see her again.”

Magnus knew that it likely wasn't the best idea to let somebody else handle it for him. On the other hand, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it himself.

“If you insist.” Magnus tried for a smile.

“Right. You'll have your apartment back by the morning.” Ragnor got to his feet and pulled on his coat.

Magnus's eyes went wide, “You're going right now?”

“Shouldn't I?”

“Um...” Magnus didn't exactly feel up to arguing. He shrugged and drank more of his tea.

Ragnor patted him on the shoulder.

“Don't you dare forgive her. If I find out you've gone back to her, you're dead to me.” Ragnor stated, right before he left. “I'm not even kidding.”

Magnus could not see himself ever forgiving Camille that easily; his trust was a fragile thing, and she'd single-handedly torn it to shreds. He wasn't sure he'd be able to _just_ _trust_ anyone in future.

He couldn't see himself ever falling in love again, either.

* * *

 

Magnus felt like that for close to two years; unable to trust, unable to develop too many feelings, through countless nights of meaningless hook-ups and one night stands.

He felt like he'd built up too much of an emotional wall, and a defence mechanism that involved humor and not much else.

He always made sure other people thought he was fine, when he was, in all honesty, far from it. He couldn't _tell_ them that, though- didn't want to. Felt no need to.

Until an encounter in the medical library on campus, in the middle of Spring, with a certain blue-eyed boy that turned Magnus's world on its head.

His wall started coming down.

The emotional bruises began to fade.

* * *

 

_Now_

 

The sheets rustled and pooled in his lap as Magnus sat up, yawning. He squinted against the morning light that had found its way through a gap in the curtains.

Next to him, Alec sighed and shifted in his sleep. Magnus smiled to himself; his boyfriend was a sight. Alec's hair was beyond messy, and the way his naked body was sprawled effortlessly across the bed should have been criminal. Magnus was contemplating kissing him awake, requesting a second round.

The thought of it sent a thrill up his spine, and his mind drifted to the night before; Alec had been so perfect. Magnus wanted to show him just how perfect he was.

His phone started to ring, and the vibration made a harsh sound against the wood of the night-stand. He swore under his breath and reached for it, accepting the call before it could wake Alec up.

“Hello?” he murmured into the receiver.

“Is this Mr Bane?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs in this chapter serve a very specific purpose (hint: it involves the year the song was popular)  
>  ~~I've been listening to 'Peanut Butter' by RuPaul for hours now. Someone send help~~  
>  Thank you for reading!


	21. Don't Worry, Darling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the lovely comments on the previous chapter~ I replied to them all, because I really just appreciate all the support and feedback. Comments always make my day, whether they're short or long.  
> Thanks to every single one of my readers, you're all lovely <3

_Song for this section: 'All Those Friendly People' by Funeral Suits_

 

When Alec woke up, he thought he'd find a warm body pressed against his own, curled into the curve of his back, maybe. He expected a mumbled exchange of 'good mornings' and some lazy kisses. A lot of snuggling, before they fell asleep again.

He rolled onto his back, arm reaching towards Magnus's side of the bed. His hand met cold sheets.

Alec frowned and sat up; it was too early for Magnus to be out of bed. His boyfriend didn't get up until he absolutely _had_ to. Alec supposed Magnus could have ventured into the kitchen for some breakfast.

He slid out of bed, bare feet hitting the carpet. He searched the room for his underwear (which he found halfway under the bed) and pulled them on just so he wouldn't have to walk through the apartment naked; he was comfortable at Magnus's place, but not _that_ comfortable.

Chairman Meow was in the hallway, and greeted him by winding his way around Alec's feet.

“Hey,” Alec said to the cat, being careful not to trip over him. He walked into the kitchen, the Chairman close behind.

Magnus was leaning against the kitchen island, elbows pressing into the counter-top and chin propped in his hands. He was staring into the coffee pot as it brewed, and his expression was blank. It seemed like he hadn't yet realized that Alec was there.

Alec was moving before he could even give himself time to think about it. Within the next two seconds, he had his arms around Magnus's waist and his face pressed between his shoulder blades.

Magnus jolted, just slightly, and made a soft noise (surprise? Delight?) when Alec pressed a kiss to his back.

“I didn't hear you,” Magnus breathed out in a weak chuckle.

“You weren't there when I woke up,” Alec murmured.

“I thought I'd let you sleep a little more,” he sounded apologetic, “I only got up a few minutes ago.”

Alec lifted his head and nudged at Magnus's shoulder with his chin. Magnus turned his head to smile at Alec, but something seemed off.

“Is there anything wrong?” Alec had to ask.

“Not at all.” Magnus blinked, his smile wavering, “Why do you ask?”

Alec shrugged- he, himself, was not sure, and he went with the first reason that came to mind:

“You're never up this early.”

“There's a first time for everything, darling.” Magnus laughed, and it seemed genuine. Alec let himself relax. “Speaking of first times...” Magnus went on, tone airy.

Alec's face went warm and he tucked his face into his boyfriend's neck.

“It was great,” Alec admitted, in a mumble, “We should do it again.”

“What was that?” Magnus teased, “I can't quite hear you.”

“Shut up,” Alec nipped at Magnus's nape; a playful bite that (to Alec's delight) made Magnus shudder. “You heard me.”

Magnus turned in Alec's arms to face him, and trailed his hands down Alec's bare chest.

“Hm,” Magnus hummed, fingers stopping at the waistband of Alec's underwear, “We've got time. How about we make good use of it?” his knuckles were brushing against Alec's hipbones, now, and Alec was losing his train of thought. He really wanted to kiss him.

“Sounds...” Alec trailed off; there was something nagging at the back of his mind. Something he'd forgotten.

As if on cue, his cellphone (which he'd discarded on the kitchen counter the night before) chimed loudly with a reminder.

“Oh,” Alec groaned, letting his head fall forward out of frustration. His forehead bumped into Magnus's shoulder.

“What is it?”

“I promised Jace I'd go to the gym with him,” Alec explained. “He'll kill me if I cancel. I'm really sorry-”

“Don't apologize,” Magnus said, smoothly, “We can always pick up where we left off later.” His hand slid around Alec's waist to his back, and moved down to squeeze his ass. Alec lifted his head and kissed at Magnus's chin.

“I'll be back soon, I promise.”

“No need to rush,” Magnus shrugged. He moved out of Alec's embrace and turned back to the coffee pot. “I've things I should probably do, too, so.”

That was another thing Alec was picking up on; Magnus seemed to be talking a lot stiffer than he usually would. His diction was bordering on clipped, and he almost seemed to be dipping into the ghost of an old accent, which definitely indicated that something was wrong. Not everyone would pick up on it.

But maybe Alec was just imagining things. Maybe he was thinking too much.

“You're sure nothing's wrong?” Alec asked, hesitant.

“Yeah,” Magnus rubbed at the bridge of his nose, “Just tired. I shouldn't have gotten up this early.” he looked over his shoulder to smile at Alec.

Alec felt his lips quirk, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Magnus's mouth.

“Go back to bed, then.”

“Without you? Wouldn't feel right.”

* * *

 

“Where were you this morning?” Jace asked as he jammed his index finger against one of the treadmill's buttons. “Wait, stupid question.” he scoffed.

“Magnus's,” Alec said, anyway, as he sped his casual walk up to a slight jog. The soles of his shoes made a satisfying gliding noise against the running deck. “I stayed the night.”

“Did you do the do?” Jace joked.

“We did.” Alec replied easily.

Jace stumbled and let out a surprised yell, grabbing onto the treadmill's rails just before falling flat. He swore as he struggled to straighten up and match the pace of the treadmill again, and Alec had to fight not to laugh. He could feel Jace's wide-eyed stare on him.

“ _What_?” Jace's voice crept up an octave, “Alec, that's-”

“I know.”

“I didn't think you'd actually- huh.” Jace cut himself off, shaking his head. “My brother's not a virgin any more. I'm impressed.”

Alec raised an eyebrow. “Why are you being so weird about it?”

“I thought you'd be making a bigger deal about all this!” Jace said. “You took me by surprise, is all.”

“Sure,” Alec increased his speed again, “Just don't ask me any weird questions, please.”

“Did it hurt?”

“What did I just s-” he sighed, “No, it didn't _hurt_. It wasn't- I mean, I didn't-”

“Oh. _Oh_.” Jace said, “I wasn't expecting that.”

“What?”

“Magnus just seems like… I thought he'd top,” Jace's explanation was unsure, “Is that offensive?”

“Kind of?” Alec shrugged. “Why does it matter?”

“You mean the whole top-bottom thing?”

“Yeah.”  
“I guess it doesn't. Matter, that is.” Jace seemed uncomfortable for a minute, before continuing, on an apparent different train of thought, “Clary and I haven't slept together yet.”

This was surprising. “Really?”

“We're taking things slow. Like, slower than an asthmatic sloth that's had his day and can't even roll over and find the energy to fuck his wife, anymore. That kind of slow.”

“Everything that comes out your mouth is pure poetry,” Alec said, sardonically.

“Thanks.”

“Seriously, though, it's good you're taking it slow. It's healthy.” Alec said. “I'm happy for you.”

“I'm happy for me too.” Jace twisted the lid of his water off, “You took things slowly with Magnus, right?”

“Slow enough,” Alec admitted, but it had all gone a little faster than he'd thought. It had only technically been a little over half a year. “I don't...think we rushed anything.”

“You seem uncertain.”

“Magnus was acting a little weird, this morning,” Alec said, “but it's probably nothing.”

“Maybe you fucked his brains out,” Jace suggested, “maybe he couldn't think straight.”

“You're terrible.”

Jace laughed, “I know. Anyway,” he paused to take a swig of water. He ran the back of his hand over his mouth and exhaled, “you should probably just ask him about it.”

“I tried. He kept telling me that nothing was wrong.”

“And you think he's lying?”

“Maybe,” Alec caught his lower lip between his teeth, “I'm really doing my best to trust him, though, so I'd like to think he's not hiding anything.”

“Still, you should ask again. You'll feel better if you do- maybe something actually _is_ wrong,” Jace shrugged, “maybe something's on his mind. What if he's got a _big_ _question_ for you, and he just doesn't know how to ask?”  
Alec snorted, “I don't think marriage is on his mind.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of you moving in with him.”

Alec paused. Jace had a point. “You think?”

“That seems like the next step, doesn't it?”

Alec started to feel the beginnings of excitement: a fluttering in his chest, a tightening in his abdomen. “So maybe I should just bring it up.”

“Good idea,” Jace said, “that might help. You'll probably be living with him by the end of the week- and then you'll be having all the sex you want, whenever you want. I'm a little jealous.”

“Not everything has to be about sex,” Alec said, but Jace's words admittedly did wonders for his imagination. He couldn't say he wasn't anticipating that.

“ _Everything's_ about sex,” Jace argued. “Everything. It's practically science.”

Alec rolled his eyes, “I'm sure.”

* * *

_Song for this section: 'Dairy Queen' by PWR BTTM_

 

“Do you think I should move in?” Alec asked one night, over a dinner of Chinese take-out.

Magnus choked on his stir fry, and if his wide eyes were any indication (and the fact that he'd fumbled and dropped his chopsticks), Alec would say his boyfriend was more than a little surprised.

“It's, just, um,” Alec stalled, unsure of how to continue.

“Alec...”

Alec shook his head vehemently, a heat rising in his cheeks. He felt like an idiot. “Forget I suggested anything I just- you just,” he sighed, “Something seems to be bothering you lately. So I thought you were going to ask me...” Alec shrugged. “It's stupid.”

“Alexander, darling, I'd love to move in together. _Believe_ me,” Magnus seemed to hesitate, “But...”

With a sharp intake of breath, Alec had to resist the urge to move away from Magnus, put some distance between them (a drawn-out 'but' was not promising). He didn't move, though.

“Something has been on my mind,” Magnus admitted. He shifted closer to Alec on the couch, his left knee brushing against Alec's right.

“I knew it,” Alec found himself saying, then backtracked uncomfortably, “I mean, something just seemed a little off since...the other day.”

“I got a call that morning. I wasn't quite sure how to react to it,” Magnus explained. He was rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes trained on their dinner.

Alec wasn't too sure what to say, “Oh?”

“Um. Before we met- the start of the year, really- I applied to this design school,” Magnus paused, “I've tried to apply before. It's never really worked out until now.”

“You got accepted?”

Magnus nodded.

Alec's response was instant- all of his tension melted away, replaced by a sudden sense of pride.

“That's great! That's so so great, oh my god,” he grinned and leaned over to kiss Magnus's cheek. “I'm so happy for you, Magnus.”

Magnus tilted his head and nosed at Alec's jawline, keeping quiet.

“It is...great, right?” Alec felt his grin start to slip, “Magnus?”

“The school's in Rhode Island.”

It took a minute for the implications of that to set in.

Oh. _Oh_.

“It's not definite yet, Alec,” Magnus lifted his head to meet Alec's eyes, his smile not quite convincing, “I probably won't-”

“You should do it.” Alec said, before Magnus could finish that train of thought (a train Alec definitely was not getting on board with). Under no circumstances, ever, was Alec one to stand in the way of someone's dreams.

“If you want to go to this school- if you've been trying so hard to get into it- you should do this.” Alec said, “As long as you don't break up with me-”

“I'm not- oh my god,” Magnus interrupted, his eyes comically wide, “breaking up with you never even crossed my mind.”

“-I think we can make it work.” Alec finished. He smiled, and it was genuine. “You'll only be, like, three hours away, right?”

Magnus stared at him for a minute, then pressed his face into Alec's shoulder and huffed out a quiet, disbelieving laugh.

“I don't deserve you,” he mumbled, into Alec's sleeve.

Alec could argue with him for hours about that, he really could.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Bettie' by Violet Chachki (to set the clubbing mood) or 'All the Boys' by Panic! at the Disco (if you want something a little 'calmer')_

 

Magnus ended up throwing a party (of the huge variety), at the end of the Summer. His apartment became a sort of club, for the night, and the transformation took Alec's breath away- in a 'I've just been sucker-punched in the stomach by a wave of glitter and rave music' kind of way. Alec didn't really know anyone that pitched, and he was starting to suspect Magnus had just invited half of the college.

After two beers, and a particularly odd conversation with Simon, Alec decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to look for his boyfriend- who he'd lost to the crowd an hour or so before.

He wound through the mass of people rather uncomfortably, all elbows and apologies, before he eventually found Magnus.

“Where've you been, baby?” Magnus straightened up from where he was leaning against the impromptu bar.

Alec made a vague gesture, “Around.”

He was ever so articulate when surrounded by (what felt like) hundreds of strangers and really loud music (honestly, what even was the song that was pounding through the speakers? Alec was starting to question his boyfriend's music taste). All he really wanted to do was escape, and Magnus knew this.

“Right.” Magnus grinned at him, before turning back to who he'd been talking to. “Excuse us, Raphael.”  
Raphael, who had his eyes trained on something in the thick of the crowd, made a non-committal sound in response.

“Gee, Raphael, stop talking my ear off.” Magnus muttered, as he walked away with Alec. Alec laughed under his breath and Magnus squeezed his forearm.

Magnus lead him into his study, which was oddly quiet in contrast to the apartment, since it was technically off-limits to the guests. Alec hopped up onto the desk easily, reaching into one of the drawers for the stash of mints he knew were there. He wanted the taste of beer gone from his tongue.

As he sat on the desk's edge, shaking a small peppermint out of a tin and into his palm, Magnus moved closer and stood between his legs. Alec's thighs were bracketing Magnus's hips, now, and he gave them a light squeeze. Magnus grinned and leaned in to kiss at Alec's jaw, hands pressing into the desk on either side of Alec.

“Enjoying your party?” Alec asked lightly, before shutting his mouth and rolling the mint with his tongue.

“Not as much as I could be,” Magnus's gaze seemed to be fixed on Alec's mouth, “I was just listening to this and that person asking me about the design school, if I've ever actually been to Rhode Island, blah blah- when I could have been dancing with you.”

“I don't dance,” Alec immediately said, dismissive, and Magnus grinned.

“I knew you were going to say that.”

Alec rolled his eyes, but he smiled, “Am I that predictable?”

“Only sometimes,” Magnus leaned in closer, and Alec took a moment to appreciate the intricacy that was his eye make-up. He was cupping Magnus's cheek and swiping a thumb over the wing of eye-liner, as if on reflex.

“Only sometimes,” he echoed, “good to know I'm only boring _sometimes_.”

“Baby,” Magnus admonished, eyebrows drawing together.

“You didn't mean it like that, I know,” Alec smiled, “I'm just kidding.”

“Good.” Magnus kissed him, then, and it was deep and surprisingly heated (not that Alec was complaining). Alec pressed a little closer to him with a groan, sliding a hand under his shirt for good measure, as Magnus kissed into his mouth like he was trying to memorise it.

He pulled away too soon, and grinned. He was biting a mint between his teeth.

Alec let out a surprised laugh, “That's stealing!”

“Want it back?”

“What I _want_ ,” Alec said, “is to take this to the bedroom.”

And, apparently, Alec didn't need to suggest this twice. Magnus tugged Alec off of the desk rather unceremoniously and spun him towards the door, ushering him out of the study. Alec laughed as they tripped down the hallway together. They passed Raphael along the way, who gave them a weird look (which they ignored). Magnus's hands were the only things keeping Alec upright as impatient kisses were rained over the back of his neck.

Alec fumbled with the door handle to Magnus's bedroom, told Magnus in a fervent whisper to stop with the lips and the tongue and the _teeth_ for a second. Magnus grinned against the large bruise he'd sucked into the base of Alec's neck, and took a step back with his hands raised in mock-surrender. Alec suppressed another laugh and finally- _finally_ \- got the door open.

Someone was already in the bedroom- someone who really had no reason to be there.

“Simon?” He frowned. Simon stared back at him, unblinking. He looked sort of dazed, and maybe a little ill.

“What are you doing in here?” Alec asked, keeping his tone neutral.

Simon projectile-vomited all over the carpet.

And that was an effective boner-killer if Alec ever saw one.

“Oh, and the mood is ruined.” Magnus voiced Alec's thoughts, face turned upwards so he wouldn't have to watch Simon re-color the carpeting.

“He's drunk,” Alec grimaced.

“That's the understatement of the century.”

“I'm going to have to take him home,” Alec said, already resigned to the fact.

“You can't just call Isabelle?”

“She doesn't have her licence yet.” Alec crossed the room and helped Simon to his feet, and tried to ignore the acrid smell of regurgitated alcohol. “Come on.”

Simon was mumbling something along the lines of “m'sorry.”

“I know. Let's go.” he kept Simon supported as they walked out the room, Magnus stepping aside for them when they reached the door.

“Good luck with the carpet,” Alec said to Magnus, who pulled a face.

“I was thinking of throwing it out anyway. It's fine.”

Simon's head lolled against Alec's shoulder, “M'sorry,”

“No more alcohol for you,” Magnus said, with authority, “Not ever.”

Simon almost seemed to nod, “Tell...Raphael, um.” he frowned, like he wasn't sure what he'd wanted to say, “just tell Raphael I said...bye.”

Magnus looked surprised, “Okay. I'll do that, Simon.”

“You got my name right,” Simon laughed, then hiccuped and clamped his hand over his mouth.

“We should get going,” Alec said, and hurried Simon out the door before he could ruin any more carpets.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Kitchen Sink' by twenty one pilots_

 

Drunk Simon was weirdly insightful, in his own way.

“The party,” he started, drumming his thin bassist hands against the dashboard, “it was to celebrate, what? Magnus getting into that school?”

“Mm,” Alec said, eyes fixed on the red glow of the traffic light.

“Rhode Island,” Simon breathed, his eyes wide. “That's...not here, dude.”

“I'm aware.”  
“That's sad,” he stated, “I'd be sad.”

“I'm happy for him,” Alec shifted gears and let the car speed off as soon as the light went green.

“Yeah, but you're still sad.” Simon was pressing his head back into the headrest, like he was trying to get comfortable (without luck).

“We're not breaking up, Simon.”

“Heaven forbid that happens again,” Simon said, “It's just...it's not going to be easy for you guys. You know that, right?”

One of Alec's fingers twitched against the steering wheel, “Yeah.”

“Long-distance is hard,” Simon sighed and stared out the window, “ _Relationships_ are hard.”

“If you say 'life is hard' next, I _will_ leave you on the side of the road. Existential crises are strictly prohibited in my car.”

Simon huffed out a laugh, “Killjoy.”

“We're here.” Alec slowed the car to a crawl, and came to a stop in front of Simon's house. “Drink some water, get some sleep.”

“Thanks, bro. You're the best,” Simon leaned across the middle console to give Alec a hug, but there wasn't enough room to manoeuvre and it was just awkward and clumsy. He gave up and turned towards the car door.

“I really hope the long-distance works for you guys,” he said, sincerely. “Really.”

“Thanks,” Alec hesitated, “And, um. You said something about Raphael earlier, so maybe...sort that out.”

Simon stared at the handle for a long time before he finally opened the car door. The freshness of the night air washed over them.

“I'm sorry about the carpet.”

“Want to know a secret?” Alec asked, and Simon looked at him expectantly.  
“I always hated that carpet.”

Simon grinned at that and hopped out of the car, sneakers crunching against the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Hell and Silence', the second part of the Saphael companion series to this story, fits into this chapter.
> 
> Warning: if you're going to watch the music video for "Bettie", it is not safe for the workplace. It's not safe for life, really (it's an addictive song though)


	22. I Want To Be Wherever You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long- university is really time-consuming, and also, I've been focusing on my art a lot lately (which you can see on my tumblr [here](http://bttmbunk.tumblr.com/search/kai+scribbles), if you'd like) because it really helps me cope with my stress.  
> But, I'm back, and I'm planning to upload one chapter a month. Yay! As you may have noticed, I also finally added how many chapters there are going to be in this fic- which means the end is on the horizon. I'll of course continue my other stories and possibly start something new once this one is done, though.  
> With this chapter, the fic has finally earned Explicit status. Enjoy!

_Song for this section: 'Go Solo' by Tom Rosenthal_

 

It was Thursday morning, and it felt way too early to be alive.

Alec swirled his spoon through his cereal and watched as the milk gradually changed color. He muffled a loud yawn, tears springing to his eyes- which felt heavy, and irritated, and were begging to close. He jerked in his seat when his mug was snatched from right under his nose.

“That's mine,” he protested, as his youngest brother gulped down the rest of his coffee.

“Sorry, needed it,” Max, sounding rather unapologetic, wiped at his mouth and bounced on his feet. He seemed jittery.

“You're too young to be relying on caffeine, Max.” Alec rose an eyebrow and poked at his soggy cheerios, “What's up?”

“Doing my presentation today. It has to go _perfectly_.”

“The one for your history class?” which Alec recalled Max had _insisted_ he _didn't_ need anyone's help with. “You've been preparing for weeks- you'll be fine.”

“What if my class doesn't like it? What if I forget something?” Max set the mug down and actually started pacing the kitchen, started to nervously recite words under his breath. Alec caught the phrase 'Bunker Hill' a few times.

“Max, relax,” Alec said, “You know the thing backwards. You'll be okay.”

Max opened his mouth to reply, but was distracted when he heard their mom calling for him. She was obviously ready to go.

“Gotta go,” Max stated, with a little nervous wave. He grabbed his backpack and his lunch and sprinted from the kitchen.  
“Good luck!” Alec called after him, but he wasn't sure if he'd heard. “...Great talk, buddy.”

Alec twisted his fringe around his index finger and chewed thoughtfully on a mouthful of cereal. He needed a haircut; he knew Magnus would want him to try a new hairstyle. Although, he wasn't about to experiment with any colors, or…

he found himself so deep in his own thoughts that he was at risk of falling asleep. He didn't exactly want his face to land in a bowl of cold milk, so he sat up straighter and focused harder on eating.

Isabelle breezed into the kitchen, then, and headed for the pantry. He watched her rummage through the shelves for a minute until she found what she wanted, making a quiet pleased noise.

She hopped up onto the counter in front of him and twisted the lid off of a mostly-empty peanut-butter jar. She didn't greet.

“Good morning to you, too,” Alec said.

“Mhm,” Isabelle started scraping peanut-butter out of the jar with a spoon. Alec was about to comment on her questionable breakfast choices, but she seemed tired and not entirely inclined to talk, this morning. He wondered if all his siblings were going to be in bad moods, today. He lifted his bowl to his mouth to finish the milk.

“Simon and I broke up,” she said a minute later, around her spoon. Alec, surprised by how this statement had come out of _nowhere,_ choked. Milk burnt a path up his nose.

“What,” he coughed.

“Yeah,” Isabelle said mildly. She fidgeted with a seam in her school skirt. “It's fine- it wasn't like it was a _bad_ break-up, or anything. I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?” Alec frowned.

“Alec, I'll be okay.” she shrugged, and slid off the counter, “Simon and I are still friends. Besides, I think I should learn how to be single. It'll help me find myself, you know?” she crossed the kitchen and dumped the empty jar into the trash, “There's nothing wrong with being alone, right?”

“Right.” Alec said, “Look at me- I didn't have anyone special for, like, nineteen years of my life. And I turned out fine.”

Isabelle's grin was faint, but Alec still picked up on it. “That's debatable.”

Alec scoffed, “You're _clearly_ feeling alright.”

“Do you have class today?”

“No, got the day off.” Alec hopped off the barstool and moved to put his bowl in the dishwasher, “I'm going to Magnus's to help him finish packing.”

“I still can't believe he's moving this weekend,” Isabelle shook her head, “Surreal.”

“Yeah,” Alec shut the dishwasher, “Wish me luck. I'm probably going to get lost in his closet, again.”

Isabelle laughed, her dark eyes crinkling at the sides with mirth. “Nice.”

He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, “Enjoy school.”

“I'll _try_.”

“By the way, do you need me to talk to Simon?” Alec asked, “Give him the patented older brother warning? You know, with the glare and everything-”

Isabelle swatted at his chest, but there was no force behind it. “I said it's fine. He and Raphael are happy, and _I'm_ happy for them.”

Alec wasn't entirely shocked about Raphael; he'd actually expected it.

“Still. Let me know if you change your mind.”

“Stop _worrying_ , big bro.” She gave him a little shove, in the direction of the door. “Now, go. Your lover awaits.”

“You make packing sound like the height of romance.”

“Isn't it?”

* * *

 

Alec set a heavy box down near the front door with a grunt (it was filled with books, he guessed, as the word 'study' was scrawled across its front in black sharpie). He rubbed at the base of his spine and surveyed the lounge, which was devoid of furniture.

“It's weird seeing the apartment this empty,” he said.  
“Catarina and Ragnor will be taking it over, soon.” Magnus dumped another box at the door. He sighed heavily and dusted off his hands. “They probably won't decorate it tastefully, though.”

“You think?”

“Ragnor has this thing for Chintz fabric,” Magnus shuddered, staring at the spot his own couch used to be, “It looks terrible.”

Alec laughed, “He's an old soul.”

“That's _no_ excuse. My poor living room.”

Alec shoved his hands into his pockets and lifted his shoulders in a shrug, “What's your new place like?”

“It's pretty nice. Much smaller than this apartment, but it'll do.” Magnus said, with an exaggerated eye-roll.

“I saw the pictures- it's big enough,” Alec stated, and Magnus's response was an amused smile. “I don't know if Chairman Meow is going to approve, though.”

“He is a cat of high standards,” Magnus agreed.

“I wonder where he gets it from.”

Magnus laughed out loud, head thrown back and all. It made Alec smile.

“So we're done, for today?” Alec asked, “You wanna go get lunch?”

“We should save our appetites, actually,” Magnus said, “My aunt's invited us for dinner at her place.”

“You're...oh.” Alec was surprised- pleasantly so- at this. He hadn't yet been able to meet Magnus's aunt. He'd only heard about her. “That sounds great.”

“I'll pick you up at six?”

“Okay. I'll see you later, then.” Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus's lips, “I gotta go home and study up on ophthalmology, for now.”

“Mm, yeah, speak medical to me.”

Alec decided to humour him, “You make my cardiac muscle pump blood through my vascular system _really_ quickly.”

“Oh my god.”

“Happy?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Magnus said, with a delighted snicker. “That was so bad.”

Alec was genuinely glad he could amuse his boyfriend.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'House of Gold' by twenty one pilots_

 

The house was small and narrow, and the paint on the white door was peeling. The exterior looked like the last time it'd been painted had been 20 years ago, give or take.

Alec already loved the place.

The front door was pulled open (it let out a screeching protest) and Magnus and Alec were immediately ushered inside.

“Maggie!” A plump woman of about fifty, with wild brown hair and even browner skin, pulled Magnus down to kiss his cheeks. She was at least a head shorter than him.

“Hey, Aunt Maria.” Magnus grinned.

“And you must be Alec,” Magnus's aunt turned to Alec, “I've heard a lot about you.”

Alec grinned- her smile was contagious. “It's lovely to meet you, ma'am.”

She squeezed at his shoulder, “Please, call me Aunt Maria. Or, just Maria. But 'ma'am' makes me feel _old_.”

“But you are old,” Magnus teased, and his aunt reached over to tweak his ear. “Ow!”

“I have the power to withhold dessert,” she warned him. Alec couldn't help but laugh at the look of pure horror on Magnus's face, and the resultant smirk on Maria's face. “That's what I thought.”

“I'm so happy I finally get to meet you,” Maria turned to Alec, “Magnus hardly ever brings anyone to meet me. You must be very special.” she winked at him.

“Really?” Alec's lips manoeuvred into a sort of embarrassed smile. Magnus seemed to be blushing, and Alec's heart was beating a million miles a minute.

“Oh, yes. Magnus hasn't brought anyone to meet me in _years_ ,” Maria smiled, “I hope you're hungry, because I prepared a lot for tonight. Since this _is_ a special occasion.”

“Can I help?” Alec offered, gesturing in (what he assumed to be) the general kitchen vicinity.

“Don't even think about it,” Maria said warmly, patting Alec's forearm. “You two should relax. Dinner will be ready in ten.”

“I'll show you around the house, c'mon.” Magnus grabbed his hand and pulled him up the carpeted stairs, clearly with a destination in mind.

They crossed the threshold of the first room on the second landing, and Alec was hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia.  
“I feel like I just stepped into the 90s,” he let out a quiet laugh, hand already reaching for the Furby he'd spotted on the dresser.

“Welcome to my childhood room,” Magnus threw himself onto the bed, messing up the Batman sheets. “I'd give you a 'tour' but I'm afraid the room isn't big enough for that.”

“My bedroom used to look a lot like this, too,” Alec said, moving over to inspect the cork board on the opposite wall. “I wasn't expecting this.”

“Other than the make-up I'd stash under my bed, I _was_ a normal child.”

“Normal's overrated,” Alec peered closer at a photo pinned to the board; it was a replica of the one in Magnus's snuff box. The one he'd come across by chance, all those months ago.

“This...it's your mom, right?” he asked, keeping his tone measured and careful. He glanced at Magnus- thankfully, his boyfriend seemed calm. He was smiling, even.

“Yes,” he said, “That's my favorite photo of her.”

“She's beautiful,” Alec told him, sincerely. He sat on the bed, and the mattress bounced a bit. He tossed the Furby between his hands, fidgeting. “Thank you for showing me this.”

“What? You never had one of your own?” Magnus chuckled, referring to the toy in Alec's hands.

“No- well, my sister had one, I didn't-” he shook his head, “Anyway. I meant thank you for showing me, y'know,” he gestured to the room, “ _this_. Your...home. Your childhood. It…” he was mulling over what Maria had said, about how Magnus would hardly ever bring people to meet her, “It feels important. Like… you trust me. And I appreciate it.”

“I could kiss you,” Magnus's gaze was intense, filled with what was probably love- but his smile was soft, relaxed. “I seriously love you, you know?”

“I know.” The words that came next were easy, and possibly not entirely thought through. “I want you to take me.”

Magnus shifted and made an odd noise in his throat, visibly surprised. “The bed's really old, Alec-”

“Oh my god, not _here_ ,” Alec laughed a little hysterically, pressing his hands to his heated face, “I meant later. To...say goodbye to the apartment, I guess.” he worried at his lower lip, “I just. I thought we should do it before you move.”

“Is that what you want, Alec?” Magnus sounded incredibly...affected, by Alec's words. At the back of his mind, there was a part of Alec that felt smug about this.

“God, you have no idea.”

“Yeah, okay,” Magnus breathed out. His pupils looked a little blown.

Alec really, really wanted to kiss him. But it probably wasn't the best idea, with Aunt Maria downstairs, and all.

“Hey, you should show me your old comic stash.” Alec suggested, “You wanted to, right?”

Magnus blinked, like he was coming out of some sort of daze, and answered with a jerky nod.

Alec fought back his excitement and tried his damned best to ignore the lingering sense of arousal in the room.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Endlessly' by Muse_

 

Alec moaned, tipping his head back.  
“This is delicious,” he said around a mouthful of apple crumble, “I just...wow.”

Magnus laughed and nudged his foot under the table, “Told you.”

“I'm glad you like it, dear,” Maria said.

“I _love_ it. I'm leaving you for this dessert, Magnus, sorry.” He grinned cheekily at his boyfriend, who kicked at his foot, this time.

“It'd never treat you half as right as I do.”

“Mhm,”

Aunt Maria pushed her chair back from the table and started gathering the empty dishes.

“I got it,” Magnus stood and waved his aunt's hands away, stacking the plates himself. “You just relax.”

Alec nodded in agreement and started to get up, reaching to help.

“No, sit,” Magnus ordered, pointing a finger at him. Alec raised his eyebrows, but slowly lowered himself back into his seat.

The minute Magnus disappeared, stacks of dishes in hand, Maria turned to Alec and clapped her hands together.

“So,” she said, “time for the interrogation.”

“Should I be worried?” Alec's laugh was wavering.

Maria simply smiled at him and propped her chin in a hand. The wink she gave him told him she was just teasing.

“Tell me about your studies.” she said. “You're a pre-med student?”

Alec nodded, “Just started my second year. It's going well. I enjoy it,” he rubbed at his neck, “I'd like to be a GP.”

“Oh?”

“I want to...help. To heal,” he paused. “That sounds a little lame, but, yeah.”

“It's not lame at all.” she patted his hand. “What does your family think?”

“They're proud of me. My mom, especially.” Alec said, “Just like I'm sure you're proud of Magnus.”

“Proud doesn't even begin to cover it.” Maria's smile was soft, filled with motherly love. It was an expression Alec recognised, one he'd seen in his own mom so often. “He's worked so hard to get where he is.”

“Are you going to miss him?”

“Oh, of course. But he'll be visiting regularly, so it's not too bad.”

Alec nodded, “We'll get to see him often.”

“You take good care of him, don't you?”

“Honestly, I think it's the other way around,” Alec admitted, sheepish.

Maria shook her head and smiled, like she knew something he didn't- which, honestly, was more than likely.

“I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. You're doing more for him than you think.”

“I...” Alec wasn't sure what to say, so he just gave her an incredibly grateful smile. She seemed to understand.

“I like you, Alec.” Maria said as she reached for her glass of water. Her hand jerked to a halt before she could get a grip on the cup, however, and she pulled her hand back, flinching.

“Is something wrong?” Alec shifted forward in his seat, his concern immediate.

“Don't worry, dear,” Maria was rubbing at her wrist as she gave him a strained smile, “It's just my arthritis flaring up.”

“Oh...” Alec couldn't help but wince with sympathy.

“Don't do that- I don't want to see any kind of pity in your eyes,” Maria warned, “I'm a tough old lady, you know.”

Alec hesitated, but soon found himself grinning, “I know.”

“Good. Now let's go check on Magnus- I don't need him breaking my dishwasher again.”

Alec laughed out loud and Magnus made an indignant noise from the kitchen.

“That was one time!” he exclaimed.

“One time too many.”

Magnus came back to the dining room, a dish towel draped over his shoulder, “I am the most trustworthy around appliances,” he complained.

“Our coffee machine begs to differ,” Alec said.

“Traitor!” Magnus looked to be fighting a grin.

“Oh my,” Aunt Maria said. She was leaning back in her seat, head tilted to the side. She seemed to be watching the two of them fondly.

“What is it?” Magnus asked.  
“It's just. I can see how much the two of you love each other.”

“Yeah,” Alec said, “We're so in love that it's gross.”

Magnus grinned at him, “The grossest.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Fitzpleasure' by Alt-J_

 

Alec bit into the crook of his elbow to muffle his whimper- an honest-to-god _whimper_ , Jesus, he was falling apart- as Magnus curled his fingers upwards and a burst of pleasure travelled up his spine.

“Let me hear you,” Magnus murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Alec's neck. Alec, stomach pressing to the mattress, rutted against the sheets, cock painfully hard and leaking.

“Please,” he managed, his voice gritty and hoarse and sounding like _sex_.

“Please what, baby?” Magnus crooned- the goddamn tease- and Alec cried out as those perfect, long fingers brushed against his prostate again.

“More,” he groaned, “Magnus, c'mon. I'm ready.”

Slowly, Magnus's fingers slid out of him- Alec almost protested at the loss. But then the heat of Magnus was there, just pressing against his entrance, and Alec was tempted to push back and just _take_. He bit into his lip and fought the urge.

Magnus nosed at his nape and murmured, “You're sure?” Alec heard the _click_ of the lube bottle being snapped open, and waited as Magnus slicked himself up.

“Please,” Alec said again, and shifted to spread his legs just a little wider. Magnus made a low noise, a sort of approving groan.

The head of Magnus's dick pressed into him a second later.

Alec bit into his arm again, squeezed his eyes shut. “Ah,” It hurt, it really did- but he'd expected it, and it was bearable.

“It's okay, baby. I've got you,” Magnus rubbed at Alec's lower back, a gentle massage, as he slowly worked his way deeper into Alec.

Alec focused on breathing until the pain was practically non-existent. By that point, Magnus had bottomed out.

“Alec? Talk to me,” Magnus, sounding a little strained, kissed just behind Alec's ear.

“M'good,” Alec said, after just breathing for about 30 seconds and focusing on the stretch- the warmth, that was Magnus inside of him. “You can...” he shifted his hips back and shuddered.

“You feel so good,” Magnus said, moving his hips in slow, aborted thrusts that gradually became harder.

Alec let out a shaking gasp when Magnus thrust in hard, pushing back into the motion. He worked an arm underneath himself, trying to get a hand around himself for some much needed friction.

Magnus grabbed Alec's hips and pulled him up to his knees; the movement pulled Alec back so that Magnus pushed deeper inside, and Alec arched his back into the sudden wave of pleasure. He tightened around Magnus, who let out a groan.

“ _Alexander_ ,” he breathed and started to fuck Alec hard, slamming into him over and over and over and Alec wanted to sob from the pure, white-hot pleasure. He felt his mouth fall open, and he clutched at the sheets, angling his body to receive Magnus's thrusts.

“Oh my god- oh-” Alec could feel his whole body thrumming. Heat was pooling at the base of his spine. “Magnus- I'm going to-”

Magnus wrapped a hand around Alec's dick, and all it took was a few strokes until Alec was coming with a shout. He pressed his forehead into the sheets as his body tensed with it, clenching around Magnus as his thrusts rocked him through his orgasm.

Magnus pushed in deep and went still, placing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to Alec's shoulder as he came inside of him.

Alec's fists unclenched, releasing the sheets, and he exhaled- long and loud, and sated.

“ _Magnus_ ,” he said, simply. It was all he needed to say.

“Mm,” Magnus agreed, and pulled out. Alec let his body fall against the bed, and Magnus was next to him a second later, lazily draping an arm over his waist.

“We are...definitely doing that again.” Alec informed him, through a breathless laugh.

Magnus grinned, “Yeah?”

“Oh yes. When I visit you next week, we'll...” Alec trailed off and tucked his face into Magnus's neck, sighing. “I actually-” he swallowed, “I can't believe you're moving tomorrow.”

“I know.” Magnus smoothed a hand down Alec's back, “It's weird.”

Alec shifted; he didn't really want to ruin the mood. He tipped his head back and smiled at his boyfriend, with just a hint of suggestiveness.

“Shower?”

Magnus's grin was like a reflex, “You have the best ideas.”

They made the most of their night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned my amazing friend Cay to draw a scene from this fic, which you can see: [here](http://caylynnealice.tumblr.com/search/the+gray+area). Please go check it out and give her your love and support because she's the best!
> 
> I might write a Sterek fic. If there's any of you that'd want to read that, please let me know in the comments :)


	23. So I Dry Your Eyes and Hide My Shakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! I'm feelin spoopy~

_Song for this section: 'Glowing Eyes' by twenty one pilots_

 

The store had fake cobwebs draped everywhere, and tons of cheap-looking Halloween decorations that reminded Alec of his childhood. Add to this garish orange material smothering every available surface, and you had what was a headache to look at. Alec went through the aisles as swiftly as possible.

“Alec!” he found his sister soon enough; she had an armful of wigs in a variety of different colors. She waved him over (or, tried her best to. A bright purple wig ended up on the floor).

“Hey,” he said to her, around his smoothie straw. Her eyes lit up when she saw the cup.

“Did you get me one?”

He took a long drag and swallowed, “No.”

Her expression fell, “ _Thanks_.”

“Are you guys ready to go?” He poked at the ribs of a plastic skeleton, watched its eyes light up. A tinny version of Toccata and Fugue started to play as the skeleton shook, and Alec couldn't _not_ snort at that.

“Not yet. We're still undecided,” Isabelle turned back to the wig display, “Clary's looking at the witch hats.”

Alec rolled his eyes.

“Izzy, how long can this take?”

“We have to match,” Isabelle insisted.  
“Sure,” Alec said.

Isabelle was throwing a huge Halloween bash at their place- and, at this point, Alec really wasn't sure what it was about the people in his life and their love for parties, but he didn't feel the strength or inclination to question it. Their parents were going to be out of town, and Isabelle had invited (what was practically) her entire school. Didn't seem like the best idea, but Alec was planning on staying out of the way; he'd hole himself up in his room and Skype Magnus, or something along those lines. He definitely wasn't planning on drinking with a bunch of costumed teenagers.

“What are you going to be for Halloween?” Isabelle asked him.

“No,” Alec said, a knee-jerk response.

“Oh, come on!”

“You know I don't do that kind of thing, Izzy.” Alec rolled his eyes, “I mean, what's the point?”

“For once Alec, for _once_ ,” Isabelle said,“Could you drop the 'I'm too mature for this' act?”

“That's not-”

“It _is_. Magnus would love to see you in a costume. You know he would.”

Alec breathed out through his nose, “He's not even- you know what, fine. _Fine_.” he pointed a finger at his sister, who was beaming, “But if you try to force me into a vampire outfit, I'm leaving.”

Izzy nodded solemnly, “You have my word.”

* * *

 

“Isabelle,” he complained, tugging at the raised collar, “I _said_ no vampires.”

“This is a wizard costume, actually.” Isabelle informed him.

Alec rolled his eyes and shrugged off the cape, “Next.”

“We're running out of options. You said no to our Superman idea, and the cat outfit-”

“That was a stupid suggestion anyway, Iz,” Clary said, “You know Alec doesn't like pussy.”

Isabelle cackled. Alec groaned.

“Seriously,” he gave Clary a weary look as she approached. She had something large and white in her hands, and upon closer inspection, Alec realized it was feathered.

“What if you dress up as an angel?” she suggested, held the wings out toward him.

Alec wasn't immediately opposed to the idea, “Like Castiel?”

This was met by shocked silence from the both of them. They shared a _look_ that made Alec huff.  
“Oh, don't give me that look. I _know_ stuff. I'm hip.”

“Not when you say things like 'hip',” Clary scoffed and shoved the fake wings into his hands, “And I was thinking more of a traditional angel.”

Alec stared at the feathery costume piece, contemplative.

“I'll wear the wings,” he said, “no halo. No robe.”

His sister raised a sculpted eyebrow, “Then, what are you-”

“Jeans and a shirt.” Alec shrugged.

“Guess that's fine,” Clary sighed, perked up again a second later, “We could get Jace wings too. You guys could match. Then we,” she whirled around to face Isabelle, “could dress up as demons.”

Isabelle gasped as if this was the suggestion of the century, “ _Yes_ ,” His sister was gone before he could blink, presumably on the hunt for devil horns or something of the sort.

Alec pulled the wings on and turned to the mirror. The straps bit into his shoulders uncomfortably, in a way that he knew would be impossible to ignore after a few hours wearing the thing.

“It looks awesome,” Clary assured him, when she noticed his grimace.

“I wasn't planning on joining the party, you know,” he said. “I don't know why you guys want me to-”

“Because you're our friend.” Clary said, simple as that. “We want you there because, well, it'd feel weird if you weren't.” she shrugged and scraped a fleck of dried paint off her jeans, and that was apparently that- conversation over.

Alec felt the weirdest urge to hug her.

Instead he cleared his throat, and asked, “Are there any halos around here?”

Her grin was practically blinding.

* * *

 

“So I've _actually_ managed to convince Raphael to wear matching costumes,” Simon was saying, “It only took three weeks of begging, but, seeing him in a ninja turtle costume is going to be worth it.”

“Nice,” Clary enthused, around a mouthful of salad. “ _We_ convinced Alec to actually _wear_ a costume.”

“No way.”

“Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?” Alec asked. Simon gave him an amused look.

“What's the costume?” he asked.

“I'm dressing up as a none of your business,” at everyone's withering stares Alec raised his hands in defence, “It's a joke. I know how to make those, you know.”

“He's going as an angel,” Isabelle supplied, “Which is funny, because it's a goddamn miracle he's even agreed to come to the party.”  
“ _That's_ still up for debate,” Alec said.

Isabelle pointed her fork at him, a warning. “No it's not.”

Alec raised his eyebrows and sipped his water, said nothing. He rocked back in his seat, the front legs of it lifting off the floor. He was sitting at the head of the table, with Clary on his right and Simon and Isabelle to his left. They'd met up with Simon at a restaurant he'd wanted to try- some sort of vegan establishment. None of them had recognized half of the items on the menu, and had ended up ordering salads. Alec's was bland, lacking flavours he hadn't really realized he had need for. He munched on a baby carrot as the others discussed the party.

“Will Magnus be coming?” Simon asked, and Alec shook his head in reply.

“He can't get away from classes and,” Alec waved his hand as if to say, 'so on'.

“Bet you miss him,” Clary said, poking at a tomato.

Alec would be lying if he said he wasn't tired of people saying this. _Obviously_ he missed Magnus. But stating it all the time didn't make it any better.

“I'm managing,” Alec replied, going for vague.

“You done the phone sex thing, yet?” Simon waved his fork in Alec's direction, sending a piece of lettuce flying across the table. “It helps.”

As Alec's eyes went wide, Isabelle elbowed Simon in the ribs and snickered.

“Hey, there are ladies present,” she said.

“Oh, like you two aren't dying to know.”

Clary and Isabelle shared a look, then both acquiesced with a shrug and a nod.

“Um, well,” Alec shifted in his seat, “There have been a few texts…”

“What are you- an eighth grader?” Isabelle scoffed, “That doesn't count.”

“I'm just working up the courage,” Alec shrugged. “It's hard.”

“Isn't that the point?” Simon joked. Alec kicked his leg under the table.

“Stop.”

“Seriously, though, you don't even have to try that hard. It comes really easily- you shouldn't have to _think_ during phone sex.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Alec's response was dry. “How about we change the subject?”

“Sure,” Isabelle drummed perfectly manicured fingers against the table, “Back to discussing party arrangements- I actually need you to drive me to a few more places. We still have to get, like, pumpkins, and snacks...”

Alec focused on eating for the next few minutes, and the sound of his sister listing things faded into background noise. His phone buzzed with a text- probably from Magnus- but he'd check it later.

Simon glanced to where Alec's phone was vibrating insistently against the table, its screen lighting up, but said nothing.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Control' by Broken Bells_

 

“Sorry I took so long to return your call,” Alec walked his fingers down his own stomach, lazily pressed the pad of his thumb against where he could feel his ribs. He adjusted his cellphone as it started to slip from where he had it between his ear and shoulder. “There was a, uh, situation.”  
Magnus's laugh was warm, “What kind of situation?”  
“There was a spider,” Alec started, and Magnus's laugh deteriorated into a giggle.

“Oh, baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you.”

Alec smiled to himself, “It's fine. Max came to my rescue.”

“The spider is no more?”  
“It's in a jar in Max's room,” he rubbed at the bridge of his nose, “Which, I guess is okay, as long as it stays there.”

“I think I have to call your sister and make some movie suggestions for this Halloween. I hear _Arachnophobia_ is great.”

“Don't.”

Magnus laughed, “Speaking of the spooky season- I saw Isabelle's Instagram involved some costume shopping. Wanna explain the wings?”

“You like them? She's forcing me to dress up for her party, and, well. Angel was one of the better options, really.”

“No sexy nurse?”

Alec let out a surprised laugh, “ _God_ no.” He kicked his shoes off and got a little more comfortable on the bed. “How was your day?”

“Criminally uneventful, other than classes. You know, they don't warn you how boring college can be.” Magnus sighed, “Seems your day was fun, at least.”

“I guess, if you like that sort of thing. You know I hate shopping.”

“It's tragic. How do I put up with you?”

Alec's lips quirked, “You love me.”

“You're right, of course,” a thump sounded on Magnus's end of the line, as if something had fallen, “Oh- hang on,” the receiver picked up the sound of the phone being set down. He heard Magnus scolding Chairman Meow for something.

“Sorry,” Magnus said, when he got back to the phone, “The Chairman is restless, today. He keeps knocking my books off the desk.”

“Maybe he's telling you that you need a break.”

“Hm,”

“You sound distracted. What's up?”

“I'm just really swamped with work at the moment,” Magnus said, letting himself sound weary for the first time since he'd picked up, “They don't go easy on us here.”

Alec hummed thoughtfully, “I can empathise. Anything I can do to help?”  
“Just hearing your voice is help enough,” Magnus said, voice soft.

Alec considered these words for a minute, and wondered if he could consider them an opening.

He remembered what Simon had said, about not thinking.

He rolled his shoulders back, “So, uh, what are you wearing?”  
There was a pause. “Alec, are you...”

“Um. Maybe?” Alec took a deep breath in an attempt to seem calm, “If, y'know, you want to.”

“Sure,” Magnus murmured, and all the tension fled Alec's body, just like that, “I'm so up for this. No better stress reliever,” Magnus's chuckle was low, “other than the real thing, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Alec echoed, licking at his dry lips, “So, what are you wearing?” he repeated, pitching his voice a little lower.

“The blue silk boxers that you like. Nothing else. You?”

“Jeans, um, one of my black shirts,” he moved to unzip his pants, “Should I...”

“Take it all off,” Magnus said.

It didn't take all that long for Alec to strip down to his boxers- if he was being honest, he rushed more than a little. The clothes ended up in a pile in the corner of the room as he lay back on the bed.

“Done,” he breathed out, closed his eyes.

“Are you hard?”

Alec made a soft noise in confirmation, palmed himself through the thin material of his underwear. He was just trying to lose himself to the sound of Magnus's voice in his ear; he thought of how Magnus would touch him, would kiss down his chest and into the dip of his hip bone before taking Alec in his hand, if he were actually there. The thought sent a hot flush of pleasure through Alec, and he pushed his boxers down and out of the way to curl a hand around his erection.

“I'm touching myself,” Alec murmured into the receiver, started to stroke himself leisurely. He didn't want to rush it too much- but he wasn't sure that would last.

Magnus swore quietly, “Are you imagining it's my hand?”

“Mm,” he let out a noise of agreement, thumbed his slit the way Magnus tended to do.

“God, I'd give anything to see you right now.”

“A-are you touching yourself?” Alec asked, breath hitching.

“Yeah, baby. Thinking about you, about how good you must look right now.” Magnus told him, “Thinking about what I'm going to do to you next time I see you.”

“Wish you were here. God, I want you so bad,” Alec's own voice was breathy, huskier than usual. Magnus's responding groan was encouraging, so he went on.

“Miss you so much,” he whispered, hand moving faster. It wasn't quite slick enough, his touch a bit dry and bordering on rough, but it was enough in the moment.

“Magnus,” he moaned, “Magnus- I'm not going to last, I-”

There was a sharp cry on Magnus's end, “I'm coming, baby- oh, oh, _god,_ ” a beat, then: “I want you to come for me.”

Alec did just that.

It was over far too quickly. Alec dropped the phone for a second to grab for the tissues and clean the mess off his hand. He reached for the phone and put it on loudspeaker.  
“You still there?” he asked, and Magnus responded with a sated sigh.

“Mhm. Though I think I'm probably going to fall asleep soon.” There was a rustling noise, before Magnus said, “Thank you, Alec. That was just what I needed.”

Alec felt his face warm up. “It was pretty great.”

“That's putting it mildly. I'll call you in the morning, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alec pulled his boxers up, adjusted himself. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Loose Ends' by Imogen Heap_

 

“Has Magnus, uh, phoned you recently?”

Maria looked up from the vegetables she was dicing, dark eyebrows shooting into her hairline. She stilled her hands for a moment to pause and think.  
“He phoned me a week ago,” she said, and shrugged, “Why do you ask?”

Alec swallowed, and his throat clicked, “It's nothing, really. He just hasn't phoned me all day, and, well, I was wondering if you knew anything.”

Maria shook her head, “I don't.”

“Oh,” Alec nodded jerkily. He kneaded the dough he was busy with just a little bit harder.

“Don't worry, sweetheart,” Maria said, “He'll probably call you tonight. You know things slip his mind when he's busy.”

“You're probably right,” Alec said, but her words didn't do much to ease his mind.

She came up to him and patted his shoulder, “How's the dough coming along?”

Alec stared at the dough under his hands, stretched out and glossy.

“Great,” he said. His mouth felt dry, for some reason.

* * *

 

Alec stayed up late watching Lifetime movies because, apparently, this was his life now.

“That's horrible,” Alec was man enough to admit he was sniffling a little, when the mother on screen discovered her baby was missing.

“Oh my god,” Isabelle muttered, staring at Alec as if he'd offended her. She leaned across the couch and took the Pringles tube from him, "You've already eaten half of these!” she complained.

“Once you pop,”

“You're a wreck,” she grabbed the remote from him and switched to some insipid reality show about celebrities Alec knew nothing about. He frowned.

“Hey! I needed to find out who took the child-”

“It was the sister. Obviously.” Izzy tapped the remote against her knee, “Alec,” she started, in all-too familiar tone.  
“I just. I miss him, okay?” Alec exhaled, “And I don't want to be _that_ boyfriend, but, he hasn't contacted me in _two days_ , and. It feels weird, is all.”

“I get it, I do.” Isabelle said, “But he's probably just really busy.”

“Everyone keeps saying that. I _realise_ that, Iz. But he hasn't even sent me a single text- it's weird. It feels like something's wrong.”

“You're over-thinking it,” Isabelle said, but she seemed to hesitate, “Just give him another day, or something, okay?”

“Fine.” Alec muttered, burrowing deeper into his blankets.

“You better peel your miserable ass off this couch by tomorrow,” Isabelle said, mildly, “We've got decorating to do.”

The party. Alec had almost forgotten.

He heaved a full-body sigh and sunk deeper into the couch.

“Oh, don't be a baby,” his sister said.

* * *

 

Their house had gone through a complete transformation seemingly overnight- it was practically unrecognizable. Every inch of the place was covered in assorted Halloween decorations; cobwebs and skeletons and fake bloody hands curling over the stair banisters. The party was alive with activity. Teens were dancing, talking and laughing, admiring each other's costumes as they drank out of plastic orange cups, trying not to trip over the many jack-o-lanterns.

Alec couldn't bring himself to appreciate any of it. His mind was elsewhere as he stuck to one of the corners, peeling the label off his beer.

“Alec, wake up, man,” Simon was there, suddenly, waving a hand in front of his face. He looked amused. He had an orange bandana mask tied around his eyes, and what looked like a giant, fake turtle shell on his back. “You okay?”

“Why is it always _you_ I get stuck with at these things?” Alec asked, attempting a smile.

Simon laughed, “Dunno, dude. Promise I won't puke on anything, this time.” he made a crossing motion over his heart.

“Glad to hear it.”

“Really, though, what's up?” Simon leaned against the wall next to him, “You looked really zoned a second ago. Something on your mind?”

“It's, uh,” he shrugged.

“You can't tell me it's nothing, Alec. Is it Magnus?”

“I-” Alec sighed, “Yeah. He hasn't talked to me in, like, three days. I have no idea why, or what's wrong.”

Simon's eyes went wide, “Whoa, what? _Three_ _days_?”

“That is what I said.”

“No contact, whatsoever?” When Alec nodded, Simon frowned, “I'd be a nervous wreck if Raph went off the radar for that long. I understand how you feel.”  
“ _Finally_ , someone gets it.” Alec rubbed at his forehead and pinched his eyes shut, “God, I'm just- I'm so tempted to get in my car and drive to him. I'm _that_ worried, Simon.”

“Do it,” Simon said, firmly.

Alec hesitated, “You really think I should?”

“Yes. Go. Go now,” Simon nodded, “I'll tell Izzy where you've gone. You're going to worry yourself sick if you stay here, so. Just drive safe, okay?”

Alec stared at him for a minute, his mind reeling. It wasn't that hard to make a decision.

He handed his beer to Simon so fast a bit of the brown liquid sloshed onto the hardwood floor.

“I'll see you.”

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Joyriding' by frnkiero andthe cellabration_

 

His mother was going to kill him when she found out he'd driven long distance in the dark, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

His eyes were hurting. His head was throbbing. He'd been driving for close to three hours already, and had only stopped at a gas station once, and he wasn't stopping again until he was at Magnus.

Alec fumbled, one-handed, for the water bottle rolling around on the passenger seat. He managed to grab it after a minute, and struggled with the lid before bringing it to his lips, keeping his eyes on the road. It was so dark his blinders were on. The roads were quiet.

He went over a pothole, and some of the water spilt down his shirt, soaking it through. He swore.

Alec focused on breathing and turned the volume up on the radio. He wanted the music to drown out his deafening thoughts.

His eyes were stinging.

* * *

 

It was 2 AM when he finally made it.

He knew exactly where Magnus's apartment was- he'd been there a handful of times before. When he was finally outside his front door- getting there was a bit of a blur, really- Alec couldn't knock for a full ten minutes. He was too busy running scenarios through his head. Each one was worse than the previous.

Eventually, he forced himself to bring his fist against the door- the sound was heavy, and loud.

A muffled shout came from inside, a thumping noise. The door was ripped open a second later, and Alec came face to face with a Magnus that looked worse for wear.

Magnus blinked his eyes slowly, before they stretched wide.

“Alec?”

“Hello,” Alec said. His voice trembled and betrayed him.

“Love, what- it's the middle of the night-”

Something inside of Alec just _broke_ , like a dam crashing down.

He tripped over the threshold and hit at Magnus's chest weakly, a steady stream of tears already pouring down his face.

“Three days. _Three days_ , Magnus,” he sobbed, “and not even a text!”

“I-” Magnus had gone pale, realization dawning on his face, “Oh god, Alec, I'm sorry, I-”

“ _Explain yourself_.”

“I-I've been so busy with my studies, I haven't even been keeping track of the days,” Magnus explained, his words a messy rush, “I haven't even charged my phone since we last spoke. I-it's inexcusable, and I'm so sorry.”

Alec stared at him. Magnus's eyes were wide, shining with his own tears.

“Alec, I really- I'd never do something like this to you deliberately- I just, I can get so distracted and forgetful this time of year-”

Alec held up a hand, cutting him off. He took a deep shuddering breath, rubbed at his red eyes. He needed a second. Just a second.

“Alec?” Magnus's voice was almost timid. Alec had _never_ heard him sound that way.

Alec let out his breath, slowly, “You _asshole_. I was so worried.”

Magnus, with what sounded a lot like a sob, hugged Alec's trembling form tighter to him,“Alexander, love, I'm so sorry.”

“Just. Don't do it again.” Alec let himself relax into the embrace, rested his face against Magnus's neck. He closed his eyes, “I thought something was wrong.”

“It was just...the stress.” Magnus mumbled into Alec's hair, placing a kiss there, “I wasn't handling it well.”

“Clearly.” Alec sighed. The tears had finally stopped.

“Alec?”  
“Yeah?”

“We're okay, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“I'm glad.” Magnus exhaled quietly. They stood in a comfortable silence for a while, just holding each other. Alec wasn't sure how long it was before Magnus broke it. He was so tired. All he wanted to do was stay wrapped in Magnus's arms and go to sleep.

“Alec?”

“Mm,” he didn't open his eyes. So tired.

“You still have the wings on.”

“Oh, god. Get them _off_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> much kiss and many hug!


	24. Like a Stone Thrown Across the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, guys! Forgive me?

_Song for this section: 'Guillotine' -  Jon Bellion_

 

When Alec woke up, it was still dark- which probably meant he hadn't slept for very long. He yawned so hard, tears sprung to his eyes.

His cheek was pressed into a pillow that wasn't familiar- but it did smell faintly of Magnus's shampoo, so that helped- and his neck ached. Magnus was seated on the bed's edge, illuminated only by the dim light of the phone in his hands.

“What time is it?” Alec asked. His voice was scratchy.

“Five AM,” Magnus mumbled, without looking up.

Alec shifted forward until he could run his palm over Magnus's back, as if he could soothe away the tension there. As it was, Magnus slumped a little under his touch.

“Have you eaten anything in the past 72 hours that's not a power bar?” Alec asked.

“Mm,” Magnus said, non-committally.

“Oh god,” Alec groaned and forced his body into a sitting position, “All right, I'm making you breakfast.”

Magnus mumbled something that sounded like 'toast'.

“What's wrong?” Alec moved closer and hooked his chin over Magnus's shoulder, nuzzled into the warmth of his back.

“Missed calls,” Magnus held up his phone- which was in the middle of being charged- for Alec to see. Alec blinked to adjust to the brightness of the screen. “I'm so sorry, Alec. I-”

“It's fine. It happened, and it's over.” Alec kissed at his shoulder and sighed, “I kind of don't want to make a big deal out of it any more.”

Magnus pursed his lips and nodded, “Okay.”

“Breakfast?”

Magnus's stomach growling was answer enough.

* * *

 

The campus coffee shop that Magnus gave him directions to wasn't all that hard to find. The place was small and warm and pretty similar to many of the coffees places back home, complete with its own exhausted students downing espressos and staring blankly at their laptop screens.

He stepped up to the counter and placed an order for two black coffees, as he dug his wallet out of his coat pocket.

“You okay?” someone asked, their tone gentle. Alec looked up to see the barista smiling sympathetically at him.

“I'm, uh, yeah.” he said, stupidly.

“Sorry, it's just- I see a lot of people come through here everyday, and I've seen _every_ level of tired,” she huffed a laugh, not unkindly, and tossed her white-blonde curls over her shoulder, “and you look like- well, like death warmed up.”

“It's...been a long weekend,” he admitted.

“Looks like you'll need those coffees to be a double-shot,” she grabbed two cups and a marker, “Name?”

“Alec,” he said,

“So, Alec,” she said, as she scrawled over the side of each cup, “What is it? Girl trouble? Studies?”

“Uh, boy trouble. Boyfriend,” he said, “it's all fine now, though.”

The girl's ears almost seemed to physically perk up, “Boyfriend? That's so great- not the trouble, obviously, I'm sorry about that- but I'm glad you guys sorted it out.”

He didn't quite understand her excitement, “Uh huh.”

“Sorry, it's just- my girlfriend and I started an LGBTQ Student Association, and, y'know,” she let out a little nervous laugh, “Trying to recruit. Do you think you'd want to, uh-”

“I'm not actually a student here,” he said, sheepish, “But I'll tell my boyfriend. He'll join you guys- if he hasn't already.”

“Awesome! Thank you,”

She handed him two piping hot coffees a minute later.

“Thanks...” he glanced at her name tag. “Helen.”

“Any time.”

* * *

 

“So someone just tried to get me to join the GSA- or whatever it's called, here.” Alec said, as he kicked the door shut behind him. “That was...new.”

Magnus looked up from his books, “Helen? She and Aline are lovely.”

“Of _course_ you know them _.”_

“Joined their club, too,” Magnus took the coffee from him gratefully.

“Why am I not surprised.”

Magnus made a non-committal sound around a mouthful of coffee. Alec sat on the desk, taking care not to jostle any of Magnus's notes.

“When are you heading back?” Magnus asked, in a tone that implied that he didn't really want Alec to leave at all.

“I thought I'd stay for a couple more days, if that's okay with you,” Alec said, “We haven't seen each other in a while. I miss you.”

And, wow, when had it become so easy for Alec to openly communicate his feelings? He blinked and bit down on the rim of his polystyrene cup, as it sunk in that maybe he was changing more than he'd previously thought. For the better.

Magnus's smile was soft, like maybe the same thing was on his mind, “I'd like that.”

“Good. Great,” Alec tapped his finger against his cup and smiled like an idiot, “And you're coming home for Thanksgiving break, right?”

Magnus huffed and spun his chair away from the desk, moved so he could grip Alec's knees. Alec stopped swinging his legs so that Magnus could safely settle between them.

“Of _course_ I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. Just try and stop me.” he said.

Alec kissed his forehead, and Magnus squeezed his thigh in response. They stayed like that for a while, feeling kind of peaceful in the companionable silence.

“I miss you too,” Magnus added, in a voice so soft it made Alec's heart thud harder in his chest.

* * *

 

After three days of making sure Magnus ate properly and got enough sleep, Alec decided it was alright to head back home and focus on his own studies.

Magnus gave him a real proper send-off; pressed Alec up against the side of the car and kissed him for about five solid minutes. Alec broke the kiss eventually, murmured something along the lines 'we should stop, or I won't want to leave', but the words sort of died in his throat as Magnus mouthed at his neck. Alec slid his hand into the back pocket of Magnus's pants to pull him closer, blinked when he noticed how brightly colored they were.

“Are these...pink jeans?”

Magnus made a disgruntled noise into the hollow of his neck, “ _Salmon_. Honestly, Alexander, I don't even know why I try.”

Alec scoffed, “Salmon. Sure, babe.”

Magnus pulled back and raised both eyebrows at him, “'Babe'? Am I dreaming? When did I manage to brainwash you into using pet names?”

“I use them sometimes,” Alec defended, “But I'll just never use them, if you're gonna-”

Magnus shut him up with a kiss- this one was soft, and brief. “You know I love pet names, _darling_.”

“Mhm,” Alec slid his hand out of his pocket, “I better get going, before you convince me otherwise.”

“Wouldn't be the worst thing,” Magnus said, innocently.

“You _know_ I have to get back sometime. If I miss any more classes I think my dad might literally kill me.”

“Okay,” Magnus let out a long-suffering sigh, “I'll see you in a few weeks?”

Alec nodded, “I'll call every day.”

“You better- oh! I almost forgot,” Magnus dug through the messenger bag he had slung over his shoulder,“I have something for you.”

He handed a clear CD cover to Alec, who regarded the plain white disc it held inside of it.

“A mix? Didn't realize we're living in 1992,” Alec joked.

Magnus almost looked embarrassed as he said, “I know how much you love your music, so I thought I'd share some of my favorite songs with you. I just-”

“I love it,” Alec said, definitively, “Thank you.”

He gripped the CD- which he realized, now, was such an intimate gift- a little tighter as a surge of emotions very nearly bowled him over. He cleared his throat and turned to open the car door before he went misty eyed or something equally embarrassing.  
“I'll listen to it on the way home,” he said, as he set it down with care. When he spun around to face Magnus again, his boyfriend was smiling.  
“I love you,” he said.  
“Love you,” Alec echoed, ducking his head as he got into his car, “so much.”

He started the car, and kept his eyes on Magnus's as he pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Hazey' - Glass Animals_

 

Alec gingerly lifted a tendon with the tip of his scalpel. Cadavers made him feel nauseated, to be honest- but it was more the chemical smell, than anything else.

His partner, Lily, wrote something in their notebook in her large, scrawling hand.

“Does Gus scare you?” she asked, an amused lilt to her voice. Gus was the name she'd chosen for their cadaver.

“No, but I don't particularly enjoy poking at him,” Alec muttered. “And he's not the prettiest to look at.”

Lily leaned down and spoke into Gus's shrivelled ear, “Don't listen to him. You're beautiful.”

“C'mon, we need to label these things properly before the professor gets back,” Alec gestured to the worksheet they'd been given. Lily sighed and picked up the sheet of paper, made a show of shaking it out before reading the first line.

“Find the omohyoid,” she picked up a piece of yellow string and handed it to Alec, who poked at the neck muscles in search of the right one.

Lily leaned her elbows on the table and watched him for a few minutes, before helpfully pointing out what he was looking for. He impatiently brushed her fingers out of the way to label it, but not without silently appraising the dark green nail-polish she had on.

“You got any plans for Thanksgiving break?” she asked.

“Just spending time with Magnus, and my family,” he glanced up, “You?”  
“Maia roped me into helping her with dinner preparations,” Lily scowled, “We're practically feeding the whole precinct.”

“Maia is...your cop friend?” Alec struggled to keep track of all the names Lily brought up on a regular basis.

“ _Yes_ , and I hate her right now. Remind me to tell her I hate her, next time I see her.”

Alec laughed, “Will do.”

“I was going to watch the game and eat a whole pizza by myself before she threw a wrench into my plans,” Lily said savagely, as she unwrapped a candy and threw it into her mouth. Alec pulled a face.

“I don't think we're allowed to eat in here.”  
“Bite me.”

Alec scoffed and took the worksheet from her, “Just for that, I'm making you find the mylohyoid.”

“That's easy, anyway,” she rolled the sweet around in her mouth and reached for more string.

“Yeah, I just don't feel like doing it.” Alec sat down and pulled off his gloves, which he shoved into one of his pockets. He reached for his phone.

“No way do you have a text again,” Lily complained.

Alec lifted his phone briefly so she could see the text for herself, lowered it back to his lap to type out a reply, “Magnus and I talk a lot.”

Lily's mouth twisted down, as if in distaste, “And you _like_ that?”

“Yeah. He doesn't live here any more, so we like to stay in touch as much as we can.”

“I don't think I'd ever be able to do that. I need my space.”

“To each his own,” Alec shrugged.

Lily stared at him for a long time. Just as Alec was starting to feel uncomfortable- squirming under her intense gaze, doing his best to keep his eyes trained on his phone- she said:

“Props to you. He's lucky to have a guy like you.”

Then she stuck her scalpel into Gus's shoulder.

* * *

 

Thanksgiving came and went in a blur. The day of involved a lavish dinner orchestrated by his mom and sister (Isabelle wasn't put in charge of any of the actual cooking, thank god) which, surprisingly, went off without a hitch. Afterwards, when they were all sated and relaxed and full of turkey and potatoes and store-bought pie, they made a fire outside and watched the sun set.

“Shoot an apple off my head,” Jace challenged, as he threw Alec's bow towards him. Alec caught it easily and raised an eyebrow.

“Your funeral,” Isabelle said. She pulled her burnt marshmallow away from the fire and offered it to Clary, who politely declined.

“I don't think we have any apples,” Alec said.

“Shoot a _marshmallow_ off my head.”

“Okay, now you must have a death wish,” Alec shook his head, “I don't feel like maiming you today, thanks.”

“Some target practice, then. I'm bored.”

“How aren't you tired?” Clary asked, as she herself yawned, “You ate, like, half a turkey by yourself.”

“So?” Jace snorted.  
Magnus nudged Alec with his shoulder, “I've never seen you shoot before. You should show me.”

Alec ducked his head sheepishly, “I'm not that good-”

“He used to win national competitions with that thing,” Isabelle stated, blunt.

“C'mon, babe, show off a little bit.” Magnus all but batted his eyelashes at Alec, who heaved a sigh.

“If you really want me to, sure.”

“Don't sound so hard done by,” Isabelle scoffed around the marshmallow in her mouth. Alec stuck his tongue out at her as he stood and offered his hand to Magnus, who used it to pull himself up.

“We've got targets set up at the back of the garden,” Alec explained, as they followed Jace past rows of meticulous rose bushes.

“Jace shoots too?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah. He sucks though.”

“Heard that,” Jace called over his shoulder.

“Good,” Alec called back. Jace flipped him off and jogged on ahead of them.

Magnus laughed and paused their walk to brush grass off his boots.

“Can't believe Thanksgiving is nearly over,” Alec said.

“Mm,” Magnus gripped Alec's arm to steady himself, “Christmas next.”

He watched as Magnus picked a leaf from the bottom of his left boot. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“You,”

“You already have me,” Alec rose an eyebrow. Magnus set his foot down and straightened up.

“I want to have you, for now and for always,” he explained.

Alec's cheeks went warm, as he fought to keep his composure, “Is this your way of proposing to me?” It was kind of a joke. Only, not really.

“No, no,” Magnus let out a small laugh and tucked his hands into his coat pockets, “You'd know.”

Alec tossed his bow between his hands and nodded, feeling a little relieved- along with another emotion he couldn't quite place.

“I used to be against the whole marriage thing,” Magnus said, unprompted, “before. I didn't think it really worked, you know?”

Alec shrugged helplessly, “Divorce rates _are_ high,” he said, unsure.

“My mind's been changed, though,” Magnus looked up at him, gaze unwavering, “I think I'd like to get married, someday.”

Alec swallowed hard.

“Me, too.” he said, over the loud uptick of his heart.

* * *

 

_Song for this section: 'Goodbye' - The Postmarks_

 

With a new year and a new semester, come changes. Sometimes they're small- sometimes you just decide to start a new diet, or draw up a proper studying schedule. Sometimes you get a part-time job to start paying off expenses.

For some people, the changes are more drastic. Sometimes you have to get a second job to pay off debts, or you change your mind about your degree, or you have to move out of the house.

Alec didn't quite feel like his change was _drastic_ , per se; it was more along the lines of something he'd been wanting, for a while now. It almost felt necessary.

His mother watched him from the doorway as he taped the last box shut.

“You're sure about this?” she asked, the fifth time in that week alone.

Alec nodded and rocked back on his heels. His room was so empty; apart from the furniture, everything was practically bare.

“I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of transferring if I wasn't sure,” Alec said on a weak laugh, “that was a _whole_ lot of effort I'd rather not repeat.”

Maryse pursed her lips and crossed her arms. Her shoulders hunched slightly inwards.

“We're going to miss you,” she said.

“I'm going to miss you all, too,” Alec's heart started to feel heavy, not for the first time, “But I'm going to visit often, and-”

“It's good that you're doing this,” she assured him, with a soft smile, “Don't get me wrong. I'm all for your independence- but, it's going to feel odd, for awhile.”

“I realize,” Alec pulled his sweater sleeves over his knuckles, fidgeting. He wasn't sure what else to say, wasn't sure what could possibly help.

His mom crossed the room and hugged him. She wrapped her arms around him tight and ran one of her hands through his hair, holding him close in a way she hadn't done in years.

Surprised, Alec rested his head on her shoulder and relaxed into it. He wrapped his arms around her small frame.

“You sure you want to do this for him?” she asked, quietly.

“He's not expecting me to, mom. He doesn't even know about it, yet,” he said, “ _I_ want to be closer to him. I love him.”

Maryse sighed, “You're just...so young. Almost too young to be in love,” she hugged him tighter, “ _but_. I trust your judgement.”

“Thank you,” he pulled back and kissed her cheek, “I'll call you every weekend. Okay?”

She nodded and squeezed his shoulder.

“I hope he looks after you, Alec.”

“He always does, mom. You don't need to worry.”

* * *

 

Magnus kind of really hated the library; it was stuffy, and too quiet, and altogether not the kind of environment he made a conscious effort to spend time in. But, sometimes, as a student, you didn't have much of a choice.

He stared hard at his textbook, and the black text, stark against its white background, stared back at him. The words were starting to blur together. He blinked hard and ran his highlighter across the page.

“'Highlight the important stuff', they say,” Magnus muttered, as he highlighted another whole paragraph, “ _Right_.”

The student sitting across from him gave him a weird look.

Magnus rocked back in his chair and ran his hands over his face. A break was long overdue.

He'd head to the bathroom- and maybe, after that, he'd go to the coffee shop for an espresso, chat to Helen if she was on shift. The idea of caffeine had him on his feet in an instant.

Magnus walked through the rows of shelves as he made his way to the exit. He stopped at a particular section to put back one of the books he'd borrowed, only to pause when he caught sight of someone rather familiar-looking towards the end of the aisle.

His grip on the book slipped, and it fell to the carpeted floor with a dull thump.

“ _Alec_?” the name came out on a surprised gasp.

His boyfriend grinned wide and strode towards him, “Surprise.”

“What- why are you-”

“Well, uh, I kinda live on campus, now,” Alec explained, “I'm a new student.”

“A new student.” Magnus repeated, as if to help it all sink in.

“Yeah.”

Magnus wanted to throw himself at Alec right then and there. He wanted to kiss him senseless, maybe even cry a little. Instead, he cocked his head, ran his tongue over his lips, and asked:

“Can I help you?”

Alec laughed out loud at that, a beautiful sound in the quiet of the library as he pulled Magnus close.

“Deja vu,” he breathed out, and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for an epilogue, everybody~


	25. Epilogue

Alec pulled at his tie, and redid the knot for the third time in the frame of two minutes.

“This isn't too formal, right?” he asked the mirror. Gentle hands spun him around, then, and brushed his hands away from the abused piece of material.

“You look great,” Magnus assured him, as he tied a Windsor knot with deft fingers, “Very doctorly.”

“And my hair?” Alec reached a hand up.

“It's perfect- _stop_ touching it.” Magnus warned, grabbing for Alec's hand. He laced their fingers together. “You're going to do great.”

“It's my first day at the practice. What if the other doctors don't like me, or-”

“Alexander. Relax.” Magnus smoothed his hands down the front of Alec's shirt, “Kiss.” he demanded, leaning forward.

As was routine, Alec responded with a peck to Magnus's lips before reaching to retrieve his keys from the bowl next to their front door. Magnus handed him his jacket.

“You'll be home by 7, right?” he asked, as Alec opened the door, “The Penhallows are coming for dinner.”

“I wouldn't miss Helen's cheesecake for the world,” Alec said solemnly. Magnus laughed and leaned against the door frame.

“Love you,” he said.

“Love you more,” Alec called back, already halfway to the car. Magnus gave him the softest smile- the smile reserved specifically for him- and waved him off. The wedding band on his finger glinted in the morning sun.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been quite the year.  
> Thanks to all of my readers- I love you all so much! Thank you for reading, for being patient with me, for all the comments and kudos and support. It's been amazing.  
> Happy holidays to all of you! I hope the new year is a good one.


End file.
